Road Rage, long but entertaining read

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ThatGuy4life

The Riced Sleeper
So I'm driving into work yesterday on the freeway, and their's this sheriff in front of me in the fast lane doing slightly under the speed limit, which fucking buggs the shit out of me when people do that but it's a cop so I'm not bout to try to pass him. So I noticed this white pickup in my rear view tailgating just right up on my ass, the 2nd most irratating thing bout driving on the road. So i'm thinking wtf, dude back up I can't move over cause traffic and their's a cop in front of me so I can't go faster. Finally we got to a point where I could move over in the slow lane, which I did, thinking ok buddy go tailgate the cop & get pulled over, but noooooooo. The dumb ass follows me still on my ass.

& this is why i'm kinda glad my motor is messed up right now, cause when I rev the engine I put up a big smoke screen behind which most people get the idea to back off. This ass didn't get it, so I applied the brake, not a hard brakecheck cause I know that would've got him to rearend me but more of a gradual stop. He finally backs off so I continue onto the next exit. While sitting at the light I notice the same truck pull off the road & passenger & driver both got out and reached in the bed & started approaching my car with hammers.

So I got out, started running my mouth, the driver ruches me, I sidestepped & elbow him in the back of the head, he falls, his buddy swings his hammer which I blocked with my forearm didn't even feel the blow at the time. Wrapped up his arm rolled his shoulder & dislocated it, punched him in the face & he drops. The driver who is back to his feet by this time took a swung & caught me in the face which sent me stumbling then he made the mistake of trying to get another shot in. His faced ended up saying hello to a right hook that dropped him, but not for long, a few seconds & he's back to his feet & tries to tackle me at which point I got one of his hands, but the toss I had in mind didn't work on account of me loosing my footing, so I ended up snapping his hand back & dislocated 2 of his fingers.

We both hit the ground rolling & slid down the hill somehow he manages to get on my back as we're sliding down so I ended up being a human sled. When we finally reached the bottom of the hill. I told him "dude get off me, or I will more than likely end up seriously hurting you for life or killing you. Your buddy is laying on the side of the road with a dislocated shoulder & I know 2 of your fingers are either broken or dislocated as well.

He got up & we both walked back to our cars but the cops showed up. They kept asking me where my weapons were. They asked if I did all that damage by hand, while they had weapons. I said "yes I didn't really feel like fighting I just wanted to go to work which is why I only dislocated limbs, cause most people usually get the idea to stop when they can't move their limbs".

After hearing both our stories the cops asked if I wanted to press charges, to which I said "no, we already talked about this on our walk up the hill, the driver already admitted he was wrong and was having a bad day cause one of his employees had stolen $2500 from him & he took or tried to take his frustration out on me. As long as they have no hard feelings I won't press charges, shit I'll even pop their joints back in place".

After that I went to work didn't feel nothing all day till I got home & tried to go to sleep. Then my whole forearm from where I got hit with the hammer down to my fingers just started hurting like hell. So I drove to the VA, where they took some x-trays. Turned out nothings broke just a huge ass contusion, so they sent me home with some vikaden (sp) and some other pain killer and a sling
 
dayum!!!! That is insane to say the least.

i totally hear you on the people who refuse to even do the speed limit, yet wont move over to let faster cars go by. I have a 2+ hour commute in the morning, to go 23 miles...

here in the seattle area that is the most frustrating thing in the world.. the other thing they do is pace the car next to them. Picture this, 3 lanes of freeway + an Hov lane. the "fast lane" is being held up at 30 mph, by some retard who is pacing the car to his right, who is pacing the car in the slow lane... all the while the car in the fast lane has well over 2-3 hundred yards of space in front of him. this is the most annoying thing ever to me. that and tailgaters... i found though that if you re-aim the rear windshield squirter on your car, it will hit the windshield of the car behind you if they happen to be tailgating you. or it will hit inside of the car on a convertable...
 
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i found though that if you re-aim the rear windshield squirter on your car, it will hit the windshield of the car behind you if they happen to be tailgating you. or it will hit inside of the car on a convertable...


LMFAO
 
ya... i found that out with some fat old bitch in her convertable e36 one day... once i can no longer see the headlights, i concider that too close... and this bitch must have been inches off my bumper, honking and swerving like she was trying to look past me. it always amazes me how people will still do this when they can see that traffic is very heavy... its like where am i going to go? im going faster then the car to the right... and am about 1-1.5 seconds behind the car in front of me... yet they insist on tailgating... this is a common occorance here.. seattle drivers are retarded to begin with. and whenever there is any form of precipitation in the air, they lose all common sense. hello!!! its seattle!! it rains 10 months out of the year, its not like snow in LA.... this lady just happened to get caught on a nice day with her top down
 
uhm, do you think they would have done the exact same things if you were a woman driving? because i do everything you did (except the smoke screen) and if i saw two guys coming at my car with hammers and intent to f!ck some stuff up i wouldn't really know what to do. i wouldn't want to resort to flashing my sig, but i wouldn't stand a chance against an assbeating like they thought they were going to give you (ps props for your moves, all military self defense, or?)

gah i hate tailgaters and pace cars; i just want my own space on the road so i don't have to worry wtf the rest of the idiots are going to do. that's the main reason i speed :D
 
uhm, do you think they would have done the exact same things if you were a woman driving? because i do everything you did (except the smoke screen) and if i saw two guys coming at my car with hammers and intent to f!ck some stuff up i wouldn't really know what to do. i wouldn't want to resort to flashing my sig, but i wouldn't stand a chance against an assbeating like they thought they were going to give you (ps props for your moves, all military self defense, or?)

gah i hate tailgaters and pace cars; i just want my own space on the road so i don't have to worry wtf the rest of the idiots are going to do. that's the main reason i speed :D
Yea I was SF when I was in the military, & was trained in Hapkido & taekwondo
 
uhm, do you think they would have done the exact same things if you were a woman driving? because i do everything you did (except the smoke screen) and if i saw two guys coming at my car with hammers and intent to f!ck some stuff up i wouldn't really know what to do. i wouldn't want to resort to flashing my sig, but i wouldn't stand a chance against an assbeating like they thought they were going to give you (ps props for your moves, all military self defense, or?)

gah i hate tailgaters and pace cars; i just want my own space on the road so i don't have to worry wtf the rest of the idiots are going to do. that's the main reason i speed :D

The other favorite thing for washington drivers to do is wait until the last possible second to merge from an onramp at 25-35mph slower then the flow of traffic. for some reason they fail to grasp the concept of using the accelleration lane to accellerate. they also like to dive across 3-4 lanes of traffic for the carpool lane.. they will actually come onto the free way, at almost a dead stop, then will procede to cross all the lanes of traffic at a 90 degree angle to all the other cars, just to get into the carpool lane... There is a reason i dont carry a weapon in the car with me... seattle drivers are the worst
 
The other favorite thing for washington drivers to do is wait until the last possible second to merge from an onramp at 25-35mph slower then the flow of traffic. for some reason they fail to grasp the concept of using the accelleration lane to accellerate. they also like to dive across 3-4 lanes of traffic for the carpool lane.. they will actually come onto the free way, at almost a dead stop, then will procede to cross all the lanes of traffic at a 90 degree angle to all the other cars, just to get into the carpool lane... There is a reason i dont carry a weapon in the car with me... seattle drivers are the worst
Man that sounds just like out here, every day I think man they should have all their residents go back to driver's ed like every 3 years. I even wonder if they have to take a road test out here to get their license
 
One thing if the cop is doing under the speed limit pass him doing the speed limit. Atleast up here unless the cop is a dick they won't do shit.
Nice self defence. This is why I have a breaker bar behind my seat at arms reach.
 
pulling on the e-brake works for tailgaters also. A subtle slow down with no brake lights... after a second or to you can usually see the oh shit look on the offenders face.
 
wow, shit was unreal

you should sell that story as a fight scene for a movie

glad you werent hurt that badly. fuckin hammers could have done some damage
 
wow, shit was unreal

you should sell that story as a fight scene for a movie

glad you werent hurt that badly. fuckin hammers could have done some damage
naw i'm just gonna milk the poor injured soul at the club this weekend, with the females. Dr gave me a sling
 
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