something i said to my girl

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best to date was
stacey: Matt would you ever cheat on me?
Me:..............................
Stacey: well?
me.......
stacey: what the fuck is wrong with you?
me: what would you call cheating? kissing
stacey:No not really?
me: good? what about petting?
stacey: no that i could get over!
me: and sex?
stacey :that i could maybee some day get over WHY DO YOU ASK?
me and what about your best friend?
and that was the last i heard from her ever.
 
one of my buddies from school told a bunch of us this story when we started school back in april. he said his girlfriend at the time and him were driving down a back country road trying to get home from the lake. he said they hit a skunk. well his lady thought the skunk had babies with it, so she made him turn around. here is how the convo went.

her- " oh, look you killed their mommy, we cant just leave them here."

him-" okay, well what do you want to do about it?"

her- "i dont know, maybe we should take them to an animal shelter or something."

him- "ok, well pick them up and lets get out of here."

her-" where do you want me to put them?"

him- "put them on your lap or something, i dont care."

her- " what about the smell?"

him- "dont worry they will get used to it."

he said she just turned around, and got back in the car. it was the longest 4 hr trip home of his life.
 
I hang up on my girlfriend all the time.

She always trips when she walks. I have no idea why, so one day we are walking into the movies or something, and she trips in front of a bunch of people. She starts blushing and kinda laughing. I say "What the fuck is your fucking problem? Can't you just WALK?" She just hit me and we kept walking. It's good that we both have a sense of humor.

And Chance, you crack me up man....and those 7-10 kids better not be yours.
 
Something I told her today:
Your attention span is as short as a 5 year old with ADHD.
She just replied, "But I don't have ADD..."
LOL
 
Originally posted by sLuShBoXtEgGy+Sep 15 2005, 01:44 PM-->
sLuShBoXtEgGy @ Sep 15 2005 said:
Originally posted by phyregod@Sep 15 2005, 01:23 PM
IceBolt
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sLuShBoXtEgGy @ Sep 15 2005 said:
@Sep 15 2005, 12:15 PM
Was she peeing on you? did it smell like pee? :lol: :eek: :ph34r: :unsure: :(
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Nope, smelled nothing like pee, wasn't yellow either.. it was a clear slightly slippery liquid..
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it comes out the same hole but its a different fluid. i went to a sex seminar. i knew most of the stuff but that caught my attention as something new.
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It's called the cowper's glad ;)
 
Originally posted by civicious@Sep 14 2005, 10:04 PM
This is kinda fucked up and wrong on my part, but it's funny...Mike has met the chic that this happened to...

Long story short, a little while before I started messing around with Kim, I fucked one of her friends. A while later, her friend (a big dopehead) got really fucked up and drove her car into a bridge, and she died.

Fast forward a few months. Earlier this year, around March, I think, me and Kim were kinda 'separated' or whatever. I was sitting at the house with a couplea friends, stoned out of my mind, and Kim calls me drunk and crying and stuff.

Her: I'm so depressed, Wil!
Me: Whaa? Why? What's up?
Her: I lost my best friend!
Me: Huh?
Her: I lost my best friend! She's gone!
Me: Wha...where'd you lose her?
Her: Huh?
Me: You lost your best friend?
Her: Yes! She's gone!
Me: Uh...so...go back and find her!
Her: What?
Me: Go back and look for her!
Her: SHE'S DEAD! SHE DIED! SHE'S FUCKING DEAD!
Me: click


:huh:


Swear to God, 100% true.

edit: the phone conversation happened a couplea months after the chic died, btw...
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hahaha!!!!i remember when you told me that story!!!!
 
Originally posted by Celerity+Sep 19 2005, 06:14 PM-->
Celerity @ Sep 19 2005 said:
swanny
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Celerity @ Sep 19 2005 said:
@Sep 17 2005, 08:37 PM
It's called the cowper's glad  ;)
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Why is the cowper so glad ?
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I tried this once with my girl and all
she was in bed and i came back home from a long day of work, so i open the garage, park my car, close the garage and all. then i went straight upstairs and in to the room with her watching a fuking porno mang. lovin it, so i go besides the bed drop my pants and say nothing but point to the tv with a smirk on my face.
 
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