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Speeding

Discussion in 'Members' Lounge' started by BigJ, Feb 1, 2003.

  1. BigJ

    BigJ I'm just about that action Boss. VIP

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    yes, I have heard this before but it is so awesome I had to post it.

    Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
    Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
    Woman: Oh, I see.
    Officer: Can I see your license please?
    Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
    Officer: Don't have one?
    Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.
    Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
    Woman: I can't do that.
    Officer: Why not?
    Woman: I stole this car.
    Officer: Stole it?
    Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
    Officer: You what?
    Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.




    The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

    Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.
    Woman: Is there a problem sir?
    Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
    Woman: Murdered the owner?
    Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

    The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

    Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
    Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.

    The officer is quite stunned.

    Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.

    The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer snaps opens the clutch purse and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

    Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
    Woman: 'Betcha the lying bastard told you I was speeding, too.
     
  2. D See 2

    D See 2 Senior Member

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    i bet that would work too... i just wouldnt have the patience to sit there and wait for the backup.
     
  3. asmallsol

    asmallsol Super Moderator

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    thats great but i dont have the balls to say that to them
     
  4. E_SolSi

    E_SolSi Member of the 20 nut club Moderator VIP

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    LMAO thats good shit :lol: :lol:
     
  5. Prowler

    Prowler Super Moderator

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    :ph34r: cops

    Thank god for my wonderful Whistler radar detector. Best one I ever bought. $55 new on eBay and it retails on amazon at $150. It's saved me enough times so I won't need to use any lame excuses to get out of tickets.Although that was pretty funny :D
     
  6. 2 litre EG

    2 litre EG Senior Member

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    i had a cop tell me one time, "hey that radar detector is illegal, remove it right now sir, thank you"

    i was stunned like wtf??? then why did they sell me the damned thing? he didnt answer my question, he just proceeded to write me a ticket for not wearing my seat-belt, cock sucker! :lol:
     
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