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tech support

Discussion in 'Members' Lounge' started by Capt. Orygun, Aug 8, 2006.

  1. Capt. Orygun

    Capt. Orygun Win the Day

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    Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
    Female Customer: A white one...





    Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can’t get my diskette out.
    Tech support: Have you tried pushing the button?
    Customer: Yes, sure, it’s really stuck.
    Tech support: That doesn’t sound good; I’ll make a note.
    Customer: No, wait a minute... I hadn’t inserted it yet... it’s still on my desk... sorry....





    Tech support: Click on the ‘My Computer’ icon on the left of the screen.
    Customer: Your left or my left?





    Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
    Male Customer: Hello... I can’t print.
    Tech support: Would you click on “Start” for me and...
    Customer: Listen pal, don’t start getting technical on me! I’m not Bill Gates.





    Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can’t print. Every time I try, it says ‘Can’t find printer’. I’ve even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can’t find it...





    Customer: I have problems printing in red...
    Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
    Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.




    Tech support: What’s on your monitor now, ma’am?
    Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at 7-11.





    Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
    Tech support: Are you sure it’s plugged into the computer?
    Customer: No. I can’t get behind the computer.
    Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
    Customer: OK.
    Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
    Customer: Yes.
    Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
    Customer: Yes, there’s another one here. Ah...that one does work...





    Tech support: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7...
    Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?




    Customer: I can’t get on the Internet.
    Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
    Customer: Yes, I’m sure. I saw my colleague do it.
    Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
    Customer: Five stars.




    Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
    Customer: Netscape.
    Tech support: That’s not an anti-virus program.
    Customer: Oh, sorry... Internet Explorer.




    Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.




    Tech support: How may I help you?
    Customer: I’m writing my first e-mail.
    Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
    Customer: Well, I have the letter a in the address, but how do I get the little circle around it?




    A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
    Tech support: Are you running it under Windows?
    Customer: No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.




    And last but not least...
    Tech support: Okay Bob, let’s press the <Control> and <Escape> keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter “P” to bring up the Program Manager.
    Customer: I don’t have a P.
    Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
    Customer: Huh?
    Tech support: P on your keyboard bob
    Custober: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!

    last one fixed
     
    Last edited: Aug 8, 2006
  2. pissedoffsol

    pissedoffsol RETIRED

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    i don't get the last one... the rest were funny though
     
  3. reikoshea

    reikoshea HS Troll...And Mod Moderator VIP

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    god bless tech support. this happened YESTERDAY, no joke.

    customer: i just purchased this dsl service and im still waiting for someone to hook it up for me.
    me: alrighty, well i can definitely walk you through the process.
    customer: i dont get all this technical shit, can you send someone out to do.
    me: well maam, i can, for $150, but i can walk 90 year old women through this setup. it wont take more than 5 minutes.
    customer: alright, lets try.
    me: alright in the box there are long boxes with about 3" telephone cord comming.
    customer: stop with all the techno jargin....ya know what, let me talk to your supervisor.

    yeah, about that....woman is going to hell.
     
  4. reckedracing

    reckedracing TTIWWOP VIP

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    ooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhh, i get it now
     
  5. smarty009

    smarty009 Senior Member

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    lol...i remember this one time it went down like this...

    customer: I cannot seem to get my computer to turn on.
    me: Is the power plugged in?
    customer: Yes, I even push the button and the green light comes on.
    me: Ok, what happens when you push the button?
    customer: Some display thingy comes on the screen, but thats it.
    me: Ok, now we are getting somewhere. Lets move away from the monitor and look at the big box where you would put your cd in. Push the power on that one.
    customer: Wow! That worked, Thanks!!!
     
  6. Capt. Orygun

    Capt. Orygun Win the Day

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    that's okay when MSN came out with voice messaging she tried to talk to me by speaking into her speaker... she's in law school
     
  7. Airjockie

    Airjockie Watanabe Whore!!!

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    I"m still pissed...I got a cable modem, but I still get the same damn internet channel....
     
  8. reikoshea

    reikoshea HS Troll...And Mod Moderator VIP

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