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The Guys' Rules*******************

Discussion in 'Members' Lounge' started by ThatGuy4life, Jul 19, 2007.

  1. ThatGuy4life

    ThatGuy4life The Riced Sleeper

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    The Guys' Rules

    At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down


    Finally , the guys' side of the story.​


    (I must admit, it's pretty good.)


    We always hear


    " the rules "​


    From the female side.



    Now here are the rules from the male side.


    These are our rules!


    Please note.. these are all numbered "1"


    ON PURPOSE!




    1. Men are NOT mind readers.

    1. Learn to work the toilet seat.

    You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.

    We need it up, you need it down.

    You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

    1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon

    or the changing of the tides.

    Let it be.

    1. Shopping is NOT a sport.

    And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

    1. Crying is blackmail.

    1. Ask for what you want.

    Let us be clear on this one:

    Subtle hints do not work!

    Strong hints do not work!

    Obvious hints do not work!

    Just say it!

    1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

    1 Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.

    Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

    1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.

    See a doctor.

    1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

    1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don'tExpect us to act like soap opera guys.

    1. If you think you're fat, you probably are

    Don't ask us.

    1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

    1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.​

    1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

    1. Christopher Columbus didNOTneed directions and neither do we.

    1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.

    Peach, for example, is a fruit, not Acolor. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We haveno idea what mauve is.

    1. If it itches, it will be scratched.

    We do that.

    1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

    1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

    1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

    1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as SEX, CARS, the shotgun formation, or HOCKEY.

    1. You have enough clothes.

    1. You have too many shoes.

    1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

    1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

    But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

    Pass this to as many men as you can -

    to give them a laugh.

    Pass this to as many women as you can -

    to give them a bigger laugh

     
  2. jamesA

    jamesA Well known pissed off telephone guy VIP

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    Old. Hell it was just posted an hour ago on another one of my forums.
     
  3. Black Widow g2

    Black Widow g2 *princess*

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    This is older than Jesus.
     
  4. Celerity

    Celerity Well-Known Member

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    All are true.

    I actually come out with this shit all the time.

    "What's the matter?" "Nothing" "Something is the matter. I am asking what that something is. This will not be repeated" "Nothing!" "Ok, I'm going on a bike ride" "Tsuh... FINE"
     
  5. pissedoffsol

    pissedoffsol RETIRED

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    1. Christopher Columbus didNOTneed directions and neither do we.

    lol
     
  6. ThatGuy4life

    ThatGuy4life The Riced Sleeper

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    In that case I think I'll post up the one my boy and I came up with 2 years ago in response another male bashing e-mail

    lol
     
  7. Black Widow g2

    Black Widow g2 *princess*

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    I love all the reasons... they really are true. Women are just... selfish!
     
  8. ThatGuy4life

    ThatGuy4life The Riced Sleeper

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    that's why I like you, you always admit the truth
     
  9. Black Widow g2

    Black Widow g2 *princess*

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    What's so bad about being honest? It's not like I've never acted that way. I'm guilty of the 'what's wrong?' 'nothing' thing. But, I realize it doesn't work. I guess women should just say, "I feel like ass, I'm angry which means in my mind it's something YOU did, but I don't want to tell you, you have to read my mind and say you're sorry." Which, normally is what they want. They don't understand they can't read minds and don't think they want to fix the problem. In my experience, men love to fix things. But, you just have to tell them (and it's hard for women to be precise or even stick to one topic) so this normally confuses the man in question. Then, he doesn't fix the right problem, and she's once again pissed. Perpetual miscommunication. It took me a lot of learning on how to talk to Artie. He's programmed like a fucking computer. He doesn't understand variables sometimes. He's bad with people. So, I just tell him in blunt terms. Some people don't respond well to that.
     
  10. invisibledemon

    invisibledemon Bored Moderator VIP

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    ive never read that before. im gonna print that and put it in my fridge, so what the ol' girl says.

    (she'll bring it up for months)
     
  11. SlushboxTeggy

    SlushboxTeggy It's only stupid if it doesn't work VIP

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    Missed a few.

    1) When you ask us what were thinking about and we say "nothing", accept it. Men can space out for hours without one concrete thought.

    1) When you tell your girlfriend "I just don't understand my man", you are really saying, " I can't accept the fact that he may actually be this simple". Face it. Most men are very simple.
     
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