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The official "I'm Dying" thread

Discussion in 'Members' Lounge' started by Briansol, May 17, 2010.

  1. Briansol

    Briansol Admins Admin VIP

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    If you're my friend on fb, you've undoubtedly seen my updates. If not, you've probably noticed I haven't been on here much at all in the past week.

    On my 30th birthday, i decided it was time to once and for all quit smoking (5/2). Too long with that shit and the cost is just absurd nowadays... So i failed to do anything about it until the following week when i officially said after pool on monday (a week ago tonight), i'm done. Tuesday went fine, until about 230 when i went out for lunch. had bacon on a sandwich. I'm VERY suskeptical (SP? even spell checker doesn't know wtf i'm trying to write. lol) to salt... it makes my heart race very easily. This day was no different. About an hour after my sandwich, I had a shooting pain run up the back of my neck into the base of my head and I all but passed out for what seemed like 5-10 seconds. A mini stroke would probably be the best way to describe it.
    Now, keep in mind, I'm used to this happening after i eat salty foods, but it has never been anywhere near that level before. usually just a tight pain in my neck for a second, and usually cracking my neck frees it up and its gone. Not this time.

    Headache ensued and I went to bed shortly there after to sleep it off.

    When i woke up around midnight tues into wed, I thought i was seriously dying. My head was a mega migraine. I was dizzy as all hell. To boot, i'm nic-fitting like a bitch. I pop a couple advil and take a long hot shower. I figure it's no big deal and this (day 2) is just the hardest withdrawal day to put up with (as i know from unsuccessfully quitting many times before) and most of these symptoms are from lack of nicotine.
    To be sure, I take 2 drags of a cig....
    and it does nothing but make me more light-headed and dizzy. Luckily, it's already starting to taste gross :) This is the hardest step to get past when quitting... when the taste goes from good to gross, you know you've almost made it. So much that even if you slip up and have a drag, it's nasty to you so you don't even finish it. It's something like the point of no return. Former smokers will know what i'm talking about.... especially ones who tried to quit a bunch of times.
    I eat something and then go back to bed.

    Wed, i have a slight headache, but i'm dizzy as hell. drunken sailor mode. I do some reading online and check out a few things for vertigo as my dad has had it a few times in the past. One of the main symptoms was ear wax/blockage. Easy fix... so i went digging, gently of course, and did manage to scoop out a lot of wax from my left ear, which ironically is he opposite side from where my original shooting pain came from. This wax clearing seemed to make me a little better, but it was likely 'ass dyno' results.

    Thurs i'm less dizzy but have a killer headache again. a couple more advil and slept most of the day again. I've been awake off and on for about 4 hours since tues afternoon at this point. pretty much waking up to eat something, piss, shower, and pop a pill, check my computer real quick for anything important, etc, before lying down again.

    Friday, headache is gone, but i'm dizzy as fuck again. Back and forth. wtf. see thursday. slept most of the day/night away again.

    Sat i wake up feeling good, but within an hour or so i'm getting dizzy again. lay back down and pass out until early sunday.

    first one in line at the med help center sun morning, i figure i'll go in and see if they can tell me anything. As expected, there's not much they can do... they are mainly a 'sick' type doctor (flu/strep/animal bites/etc). The doc does a few neurological tests with me.... trying to rule out that i had a stroke. It was basically a DUI test. touch nose, stand on one foot, walk in straight line, and do it with eyes closed, etc.
    She checked my ears and eyes for any infection.
    Ultimately diagnosed me with tension headaches.
    Gave me a scrip for Fioricet... which is basically tylonal with a sedative and caffiene to relax but not pass out/ counter act each other.
    Well, i popped one and it felt decent for about 15 min, and then i passed out for 8 more hours. I woke up sun night around 9pm feeling the same or worse as i did on friday. A friend of mine who suffers from migraines told me that i should stay away from those pills as their withdrawal CAUSES headaches... ultimately leading you into a dependency cycle that she got hooked on.

    Rather than pop another one, i decided to go to the ER at the hospital around 2am monday morning for a 2nd opinion.
    prep docs did a few basic tests.
    BP was 117/63 which is a bit low, especially for a big out of shape guy like me. should be 120/80 ish. I was also mal-nourished at this point haven't not eaten anything but a granola bar in the past 24 hours, so i expect my blood sugar level to be a bit low and thus a little pressure issue as well.
    pulse around 97. this is really high. should be closer to 75-80 at rest. This should come down in time as smokers have higher pulse rates.
    lungs and breathing checked out ok (which is surprising).. docs even questioned the fact that i was a smoker just last week. "Are you sure?" lol
    ears, nothing in there

    get moved into the main ER room and some lady is on the other half of the room dying in pain from a gallbladder rupture. I sit there for an hour listening to this.... awful.
    Nurse comes in and takes 2 vials of blood and gets me an Iv ready.
    Doc comes in, does some more neurological tests with me which i pass (same dui stop kinda tests) ok again... i have no motor issues or limp or slurred speech, etc... nothing denoting that i had a stroke.
    Doc says let's do a cat scan to see if there's any tumors or cancer on the brain.
    Get prepped for this.
    Get Wheel chair'ed around the hospital to the cat scan machine. I'm perfectly capable of walking. It's almost degrading.
    Lay there for 15 min or so watching things spin around me and flashing lights. Not fun, especially when i'm already dizzy going into the thing.
    Get out of there, wheel chair'ed back to my waiting room.
    Thankfully, the gallbladder chick is gone. don't have to listen to that :X
    Wait an hour
    get moved to a room with no tv in it
    wait another hour, bored out of my mind.
    doc comes in.... results from cat scan are good... nothing serious inside the head. no tumors, nothing out of the ordinary.

    time for test #2. Spinal tap.
    I pretty much freak out about this.... a cat scan is one thing (glorified xray) but a spianl tap? FML! He wants to check for any blood/internal bleeding in the brain area to test for possible upcoming aneurysm in the brain. Mentions that it's rare to happen, but it should be done to make sure i don't die on the way home.

    He offers to sedate me so that i'm not nervous and move when it happens.
    says i probably won't even remember him doing it in an hour.
    ok, fine, i'll take the sedation.... probably just cost me $400. lol
    i drop trow a bit and bend over the rail of the bed and arch my back so he can see all the spine area... makes a couple cleaning wipes and 2 pokes... takes 4 vials of spinal fluid.
    sedation shit he gave me was shit. didn't work at all. While not extremely painful by any means, i remember 100% of it and felt no more sedated than i would after a single shot of whiskey. what a joke. He even 'gave me a heft dose' because of my body size. Whatever that shit is, it's a waste of money. lol

    So, now its about 4am and he goes off with my spine fluid and does the tests on it. tells me to take a nap to sleep off the sedation meds.
    i'm wide awake, not remotely sedated, no tv in my room, no mags, nothing. bored out of my mind for 2 hours just sitting there.
    tests come back, spinal fluid is A-OK.

    So, now do #2 has no idea wtf is wrong with me either.

    Makes me wait another 3 hours so that the "sedative" can wear off so i can drive home safely. FML. I'm sober. still, in the no tv/no magazine rack room, and my cell battery is all but dead at this point.

    Writes me up with..................
    "tension headache" as a diagnosis. outstanding. 2 docs at different places with a ton of tests and this is all they can come up with?
    prescribes me some vike's for the pain and gives me a referral.
    I got a name of a chick.
    no office, no number, no specialty, nothing. So, now i have to go on a wild goose chase and find out who this person is and see if its worth the money to follow up with her or not. I'll likely just try out the vikes for a few days and see what happens before going on anything. A quick google search says that shes a doc at some new community clinic in town... aka I got a "go here, cuz you don't have insurance" referral. :(

    So, to the title of the thread at hand, No one knows WTF is wrong with me, but E can attest to the fact that i've been horribly ill and in a ton of pain for a week now. It can't possibly be side effects of quitting, as I said before, i've done it a few times before in the past, and i never had anything like this before. Something is wrong with me... sharp shooting pains at random, constant headache, perma-dizzy.... and no one knows why.
    So, I'm probably dying without a diagnosis. Until then, i'll pop some vikes, drink a lot of fluids, and continue to sleep a lot.
    If I die, the server is paid up until jun 14th. 3 days after, softlayer will likely close it down from lack of payment.
    I really need to get a living will put together. Last tuesday night, I started hand-writing one out. Yeah, it was that bad. I basicaly wrote my "going to war/just in case" letter and left some logins/passwords on it as well. I would hate to see this place die with me. I should make an appt to get a living will done up legally so this place can go on. I really don't give a shit about anything else.... i have no wife/kids, and the bank owns everything i 'have', so it's kinda pointless in the long run. But, the hospital did ask if i had one on admittance. Maybe it's a sign :(
    When i get the bill for all this, i'm probably going to wish i was dead :( no obama care FTL :(


    Hopefully i'll be around for a long time, but if not and just in case, it's never too early to say goodbye.
    So long, and thanks for all the fish. I never could have imagined when i started this site that it would ever get this big. But more importantly, I never thought i'd make as many great friends off of it... both near and far away. It's been an honor and a privilege to be your 'admin' throughout the years and I wouldn't change a thing about it. I know most of you who will even bother to read this thread feel at least remotely similar to what I feel about all of you ricers :ph34r:. Keep the HS family together.

    -B
     
  2. invisibledemon

    invisibledemon Bored Moderator VIP

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    :(
     
  3. reckedracing

    reckedracing TTIWWOP VIP

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    feel better man, i hope its just headaches
     
  4. TurboMirage

    TurboMirage YEEAAAHHH VIP

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  5. 95b16coupe

    95b16coupe New Member

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    maybe you have a "pressure buildup" in your system. if you still feel sick this weekend, i'll come by and we can get some blow and hit the strip club, spend the rest of your money before you die. After that we'll get a stripper to fuck your brains out. i'm sure that will help.

    in all seriousness, go to an optometrist. get your eyes checked out. i used to get debilitating migraines and pains. found out i was half blind. the stress of visual stimulation would pain me like no other. it's worth a shot.
     
  6. Briansol

    Briansol Admins Admin VIP

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    I thought about the eyes as well. i gave myself a vision test while waiting in the room. Could read most of the 2nd to last row at about 10' without much issue. i don't think it's my eyes.

    Sometimes i do notice a strain after being in front of the computer all day, etc, but thats not uncommon and goes away shortly after looking at non-screens for a bit.
     
  7. eg6sir

    eg6sir Supa Mod Moderator VIP

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    yea.. i've seen your facebook updates.. sorry to hear man.. i can feel ur pain though, after all the chemo and crap i've been through... i know how it feels to feel like your dying

    hope you feel better soon
     
  8. B16RacerN2NR

    B16RacerN2NR Working Hard VIP

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    Get better. Sounds scary but i'm sure you'll be fine.
     
  9. Airjockie

    Airjockie Watanabe Whore!!!

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    when they did the MRI, did they test for MS lesions?


    Sound like Kaori's MS first signs.
     
  10. eg6sir

    eg6sir Supa Mod Moderator VIP

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    my buddies GF has MS.. she has dropped a ton of weight..
     
  11. Briansol

    Briansol Admins Admin VIP

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    didn't have an mri.... just a cat scan (head xray)

    i dropped a bit of weight, but it's mostly because i've eaten hardly anything the past week.... nothing out of the ordinary for a 'sick week'.
     
  12. UNDR8D

    UNDR8D ...has a job!

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    I sent this to you in a PM but I thought I'd post it for the public good:

    You need to drive up to Mass General and see a real Neurologist.

    If you remember I have a neurological condition. I have to take a couple hormone replacements because of a "mass" on the stalk of my pituitary gland...this could be a signal of something worse, so long story short, I went through a battery of tests there this winter with Dr. Thomas Byrne...Harvard Fellow, published researcher, nice guy. Very thorough and included a spinal tap (hurt like fuck).

    Your experience with the clinic and hospital sound like what happened to me the first time I went in with my problems. They kind of did some tests and they had their (wrong) theories and then I was sent home with the wrong medication and a referral to a specialist (cunt who never returned my call).

    I had to fly from Ohio to NH just to go to a good hospital. I had a real diagnosis less than a week later.

    Most hospitals have charitable care programs for the uninsured. I know you have an income but you may be able to get partial coverage from the hospital.

    From what you are describing, this could be serious and I think you should go to Mass Gen. It is the BEST hospital in the world tied to the BEST med. school in the world. They will take good care of you and they love mystery cases because it is a good opportunity for learning and research.

    The endocrinologist and neurologist that I saw there published and presented my case together at a conference to get a consensus input. That is some pro shit.

    Fuck your local hospital and go get some real help before E has to take over...then we're all fucked. He'll change the name to hondagunspussyporntitsconservativeviewpointscarsswap.com lololol
     
  13. E_SolSi

    E_SolSi Member of the 20 nut club Moderator VIP

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    you are quitting smoking in the middle of allergy season, and havent had coffee (caffeine) in a week

    plus you just fucked your back up again the previous week

    added to your hyper sensitivity to sodium

    you are not dieing... you are experiencing multiple withdrawal symptoms compounded by allergies and a previous injury... and your body is pissed at you



    here is your prescription

    [​IMG]

    take one of each as needed until allergy season is over
    then try quitting smoking when your not already getting your ass kicked by other issues

    [​IMG]

    well actually no im not a doctor... i also never got to play one on TV... or even in a school play...
    but i did know this one chick that was into role playing......... :ph34r:
     
    Last edited: May 17, 2010
  14. 95b16coupe

    95b16coupe New Member

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    could she also sit, stay, and shake hands?

    [​IMG]
     
    1 person likes this.
  15. E_SolSi

    E_SolSi Member of the 20 nut club Moderator VIP

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    fixed it you bastard
     
  16. BrutalB83

    BrutalB83 Brutal Moderator Moderator VIP

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    Hope you feel better soon B... :(
     
  17. invisibledemon

    invisibledemon Bored Moderator VIP

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    you cant die. we have to run for office, how can i be your vice if you're dead?
    pull through this.
    your country depends on it. lol.
     
  18. Matts96HB

    Matts96HB . Moderator VIP

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    saw this on fb.. get better B..

    i dunno man, pain after salty foods doesnt seem right...
    ive never heard of that
     
  19. 95b16coupe

    95b16coupe New Member

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  20. Drake

    Drake Well-Known Member VIP

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    Really hope you start feeling better soon B.
     
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