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the oxy-moron list....

Discussion in 'Members' Lounge' started by pissedoffsol, Jul 29, 2005.

  1. pissedoffsol

    pissedoffsol RETIRED

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    ONLY IN AMERICA:

    Only in America.....do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.



    Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke. !



    Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.



    Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.



    Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.



    Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.



    Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.



    EVER WONDER ....



    Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?



    Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed? !



    Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?



    Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?



    Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?



    Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?



    Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?



    Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?



    Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?



    Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?


    Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?



    You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!



    Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?



    Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?



    If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?



    If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?



    -----------------


    ok, so it was a dumb forward..... blow me :p
     
  2. civicious

    civicious FüK-VTEC VIP

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    Those aren't oxymorons...an oxymoron is something like 'jumbo shrimp', 'military intelligence', or 'microsoft works'

    edit: And welcome to 1983!
     
  3. phyregod

    phyregod !!YTINASNI

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    You know, if anyone but you would have posted this, they would have been flamed to death, shot, stabbed, and banned.
     
  4. Bl6CRX

    Bl6CRX Senior Member

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    Ehh :shrug2:, heard 80% of em before, but it was worth the read. Got a couple :) out of me.
     
  5. reckedracing

    reckedracing TTIWWOP VIP

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    bahahahaa

    seen em all before, but stil gave me a chuckle...
     
  6. pissedoffsol

    pissedoffsol RETIRED

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    hopefully not in that order.

    banning dead people is boring :p
     
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