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Things Not To Say To A Cop

Discussion in 'Members' Lounge' started by pissedoffsol, May 23, 2003.

  1. pissedoffsol

    pissedoffsol RETIRED

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    Things not to say to a cop when you're pulled over...

    I only had one officer Mr. Keg..

    Back off Barney, I've got a piece.

    Want to race to the station, Sparky?

    I know I was weaving, but I can't find the Honeycomb Hideout!

    On the way to the station let's get a twelve pack.

    You'll never get those cuffs on me...You Pussy!

    Come on write the damn ticket, the bars close in 20 minutes!

    Hey, wasn't your daughter a pork queen?

    How long is this going to take? Your wife is expecting me.

    Hey officer, is that your nightstick or are you just glad to see me?

    I'm surprised you stopped me, Dunkin Donuts has a 3 for 1 special!

    Yeah you can see my license and registration, officer, but could you hold my beer for a minute?

    Hey, you must've been doing' about 125mph (200km/h) to keep up with me! Good job!

    Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

    I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a Police Officer.

    Excuse me. Is "stick up" hyphenated?

    You know, I was going to be cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.

    "Bad Cop! No Donut!"

    I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are cars around, that's how far I am behind the other cars.

    You're NOT gonna check the trunk, are you?

    "Lets do it different this time... I will give you the breathalyzer test, now stick this in your mouth and blow"

    Didn't I see you get your ass kicked on "COPS" last week on TV?

    Wow, You look just like the guy in the picture next to my girlfriend's bed.

    I bet I could grab that gun before you finish writing my ticket

    So, uh, you "on the take", or what?

    Gee, officer! That's terrific. The police officer yesterday only gave me a warning too!

    Do you know why you pulled me over? Good, at least one of us does.

    So, are you still crabby because your mamma didn't let you play with your gun when you were little?

    Hey is that a 9 mm? That's nothing compared to this .44 magnum.

    When you smack the crap outta me, make sure you smile for the video camcorder.

    Is it true that people become policemen because they are too dumb to work at McDonalds?

    Hey, you look like that girl I fucked a few days ago...

    Aren't you one of the Village People?

    Hey officer, want to see a trick? Look at your wife!
     
  2. Tonyd0821

    Tonyd0821 Banned

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    i found that highly amusing.

    but most likely because im high....
     
  3. BlackJDMdeath

    BlackJDMdeath Senior Member

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    something i've always thought would be funny...

    while pulled over, and the cop is standing next to the window talking to you, lunge out the window and reach for the cop's gun and say "wow can i play with your gun!?" and act increadably drunk.

    :lol: i just dont have the balls to get hit with a paton or get shot is all! :lol:
     
  4. S13Less

    S13Less Member

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    hiiilaaarious...

    the funniest thing a cop said to me when i got pulled over: "hey this thing goes pretty good."

    he, and about five other cops saw me racing a flipped-out TL type-S in a 35 zone going 110+ seven times after every other light. i could hardly keep from cracking a huge grin when he said that. then he asks me how fast i think i was going in my 240sx... i'm like i dono my speedo is kilometers and it was buried... i said, "i dono 55."

    TL got towed, i got off with a ticket for 65 in a 35.




    btw... that was my old car, sr20det-powered. fun didn't last long, got stolen.
     
  5. hondadude199

    hondadude199 New Member

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    :werd:
     
  6. Capt. Orygun

    Capt. Orygun Win the Day

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    a cop pulls over a guy and his friend for speeding, after they stop the cop walks up and asks for the drivers liecence and insurance. "I don't have them on me" replied the driver. Whack, the cop hits him with his billy club and proceeds to write him a ticket. "Is that all?" asked the driver, "just one more thing" replied the cop as he walked over to the passenger side and knocked on the window. Whack, the cop hit the passenger. "I just awnsered you wish boy!", said the cop "I know 5 miles down the road you would have said, I wish that stupid cop would try that on me!"
     
  7. pissedoffsol

    pissedoffsol RETIRED

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  8. CRX_Si

    CRX_Si Senior Member

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    you smoke karnash?
     
  9. pissedoffsol

    pissedoffsol RETIRED

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    dude, he's got ash in his name :)
     
  10. hashpipe623

    hashpipe623 Junior Member

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    i have ash in my name too... what? u think i smoke?
     
  11. BlackJDMdeath

    BlackJDMdeath Senior Member

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    not only do you have ash in your name, you have hash and pipe in your name... add that with the fact that it's a weezer song, you're a fucking druggie!
     
  12. sisteve

    sisteve Guest


    I'm with you on this one.
     
  13. Tonyd0821

    Tonyd0821 Banned

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    school is out, the smoking of the pot shall commence.
     
  14. JDMilan

    JDMilan Senior Member

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    that shit was hilarious, funny shit pissedoffsol :lol: :lol: :lol:

    Milan
     
  15. Gen2Teg

    Gen2Teg Senior Member

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    i get it but i had to read it 2 times, the second time pretty slow. not all too funny
     
  16. YangpaNemsay

    YangpaNemsay Senior Member

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    LOL, good stuff man, i gotta copy the link down on my profile...
     
  17. noobvang

    noobvang Senior Member

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  18. ventolin5

    ventolin5 Senior Member

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    i think thats my favorite, i almost want to use that one and see where it gets me. :lol:
     
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