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Today's amusing news story

Discussion in 'Members' Lounge' started by D16Civic, Dec 29, 2010.

  1. D16Civic

    D16Civic Matt

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  2. TurboMirage

    TurboMirage YEEAAAHHH VIP

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    good for him :)
     
  3. 95b16coupe

    95b16coupe New Member

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    this would have been news if he was actually wearing a frog suit and jumping around from a squat position like when you pretend to be a frog as a kid. this story is just dumb.
     
  4. reckedracing

    reckedracing TTIWWOP VIP

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    i see your news story and raise you

    12A. (Late Addition): Woman Arrested After Demanding Cunnilingus At Knife Point

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    In what was perhaps the worst performance of Black Swan fan fiction of all time, West Virginian Melissa Lee Williams was arrested in November for demanding cunnilingus at knife point.
    According to investigators, Williams–who lives four doors down from her estranged husband at the 77 Motor Inn–showed up at his door and asked Danny Williams and another man to “eat my p***y.” At this point, Williams “commenced to undress herself,” reported Deputy Ross Mellinger.
    While Danny Williams “declined said invitation,” the other man, Adam Watson, told cops that he “agreed to perform at her request.” However, as Watson approached Williams, “he became overwhelmed by horrible vaginal odor emitting from Melissa Williams.” Watson, understandably, “declined to proceed any further.”
    Yes, sadly, this lake was too polluted for swans.
    This is when Melissa Williams allegedly “produced a lock-back folding knife,” opened it, and pointed the weapon at her estranged husband. She then reportedly uttered a line never before memorialized in a police report: “Somebody is going to eat my p***y or I’m going to cut your f**king throat.”
    When Deputy Mellinger arrived on the scene he observed Williams–who, like the two men, appeared to be intoxicated–nude from the waist down. After pocketing a knife that was on the coffee table in front of Williams, Mellinger arrested her for domestic assault and brandishing a deadly weapon. [Sounds like she was brandishing two, but who's counting.] |via TheSmokingGun|
    Since this happened in West Virginia, I like to imagine Lee’s ex-husband stumbling home from the coal mine hacking up soot, chewing Red Man, and throwing back Mountain Dew after Mountain Dew, and then when she shows up with her kitty out he still nearly vomits from the stench. Good God, that thing must be like a superfund site. Though I do enjoy the West Virginia tradition of keeping your ex in the same motor lodge in case it’s late and you want some oral sex.
     
  5. D16Civic

    D16Civic Matt

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    Oh sweet jesus.....
     
  6. DESPAIN

    DESPAIN yep....mmhhm.......yep...

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    Any pics of said ex wife?
     
  7. D16Civic

    D16Civic Matt

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    you don't see it?
     

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  8. DESPAIN

    DESPAIN yep....mmhhm.......yep...

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    She looks like the witch in "the sword in the stone" lmao
     
  9. dveit

    dveit Well-Known Member VIP

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    She's lovely.
     
  10. reckedracing

    reckedracing TTIWWOP VIP

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  11. hondafreak513

    hondafreak513 New Member

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    wow just wow.. we got swamp thing and then some stupid azz public workers..
     
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