1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Todays Joke

Discussion in 'Members' Lounge' started by reckedracing, Nov 18, 2005.

  1. reckedracing

    reckedracing TTIWWOP VIP

    Messages:
    21,056
    Likes Received:
    1,180
    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2002
    Location:
    NY
    An Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again. The boy asked, "What is this Father?" The father, never having seen an elevator responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don`t know what it is." While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, an old lady in a wheel chair moved up to the two moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24-year-old blonde stepped out. The father said quietly to his son... "Go get your mother."
     
  2. pissedoffsol

    pissedoffsol RETIRED

    Messages:
    49,693
    Likes Received:
    53
    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2002
    Location:
    Retirement Home
    :p




    >
    > > Once there was a little boy that lived in the country.
    > >
    > > They had to use an outhouse, and the little boy hated it because it was
    > > hot in the summer and cold in the winter and stank all the time. The
    > > outhouse was sitting on the bank of a creek and the boy determined that
    > > one day he would push that outhouse into the creek.
    > >
    > > One day after a spring rain, the creek was swollen so the little boy
    > > decided today was the day! So he got a large stick and started pushing.
    > > Finally, the outhouse toppled into the creek and floated away.
    > >
    > > That night his dad told him they were going to the 'woodshed' after
    > > supper. Knowing that meant a spanking, the little boy asked why.
    > >
    > > The dad replied, "Someone pushed the outhouse into the creek today. It was
    > > you, wasn't it son?"
    > >
    > > The boy answered yes. Then he thought a moment and said, "Dad, I read in
    > > school today that George Washington chopped down a cherry tree and didn't
    > > get into trouble because he told the truth."
    > >
    > > The dad replied, "Well, son, George Washington's father wasn't in the
    > > cherry tree."
    > >
    > >
    >
    >
     
  3. reckedracing

    reckedracing TTIWWOP VIP

    Messages:
    21,056
    Likes Received:
    1,180
    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2002
    Location:
    NY
    The dad replied, "Well, son, George Washington's father wasn't in the cherry tree."

    haha
     
  4. BigJ

    BigJ I'm just about that action Boss. VIP

    Messages:
    11,090
    Likes Received:
    408
    Joined:
    Oct 4, 2002
    Location:
    Washington
    [​IMG] That's awesome.
     
  5. hcivic.com

    hcivic.com Senior Member

    Messages:
    4,571
    Likes Received:
    2
    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2003
    Location:
    Calgary Alberta canada
  6. Xaero3953

    Xaero3953 Senior Member

    Messages:
    601
    Likes Received:
    0
    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2005
    Location:
    Ft. Worth, TX
  7. phyregod

    phyregod !!YTINASNI

    Messages:
    9,449
    Likes Received:
    225
    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2005
    Location:
    Central Texas

    :thumbsup: :p
     
  8. SlushboxTeggy

    SlushboxTeggy It's only stupid if it doesn't work VIP

    Messages:
    9,392
    Likes Received:
    245
    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2004
    Location:
    New Jersey
  9. B16RacerN2NR

    B16RacerN2NR Working Hard VIP

    Messages:
    6,148
    Likes Received:
    99
    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2003
    Location:
    Moving back West...
    I think i've posted this but oh well...



    A guy goes into an elevator, when he gets in he notices a huge dude standing next to him.

    The big dude looks down upon the guy and says: "7 feet, 350 pounds, 12 inch penis, 3 pound left testicle, 3 pound right testicle, Turner Brown"

    The small guy faints...
    The big dude picks up the guy, brings him to, slapping his face and shaking him, and asks the small guy. "What's wrong?"

    The guy says, "Excuse me but what did you say?"

    The big dude looks down and says " I just answered the questions that everyone seems to ask me. I'm 7 feet, 350 pounds, 12 inch penis, 3 pound left testicle, 3 pound right testicle, and my name is Turner Brown."

    The guy sighs with relief and says, " OH Thank God, I thought you said 'Turn Around'."
     
  10. dveit

    dveit Well-Known Member VIP

    Messages:
    5,361
    Likes Received:
    79
    Joined:
    May 5, 2003
    Location:
    DMV
  11. Dustin_m

    Dustin_m Active Member

    Messages:
    4,603
    Likes Received:
    16
    Joined:
    May 21, 2003
    Location:
    San Diego, CA
    heard that one a few times, but its still funny. all of em got a little laugh outta me
     
  12. Cashizslick

    Cashizslick !i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!

    Messages:
    5,751
    Likes Received:
    37
    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2003
Verification:
Draft saved Draft deleted

Share This Page