Todays Joke

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reckedracing

TTIWWOP
VIP
some are REALLY horrible
other got a chuckle

my fav...
HONDA
Hang On, Not Done Accelerating

enjoy...




ACURA
Always Catching Up, Rarely Ahead
A Car Usually Rarely Appreciates

AUDI
Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
Always Unsafe Designs Implemented
Always Upside-down, Double Interest
Another Understated Dealer Incentive
A Used Dodge Incognito

BMW
Beautiful Mechanical Wonder
Beautiful Models Wanted
Bavarian Manure Wagon
Biggest Metal Waste
Big Money Works
Bought My Wife
Brutal Money Waster
Break My Window
Bring More Women
Bring More Wrenches
Bavarian Money Waster
Bring My Wad!
Blew My Wad!
Big Money Wasted
Bring Money Where?
Buy More Women



BUICK
Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer

CADILLAC
Company Always Denies Its Lawful Liability After Collisions

CAMARO
Cash Always Miniscule After Retail Overpricing

CHEVROLET
Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips
Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time
Cheap Heap Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time


CHEVY
Can Hear Every Valve, Rod, or Lifter Every Time
Can't Have Everything Vern, YaknowwhatImean?
Cheapest Heap Ever Visualized Yet


CHRYSLER
Everyone knows who Lee Iacocca is right? His name IACOCCA stands for:
I Am Chairman Of Chrysler Corporation America

Company Has Recommended You Start Learning Engine Repair (From James Bragg)
Company Has Rid Your Savings Legally: Electronic Robbery
Chrysler Has Raped Your Sanity Loser - Expect Repercussions
PT Loser (for PT Cruiser name)
PT Boozer

DODGE
Darn Old Dirty Gas Eater
Design Of Diabolical German Engineer
Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere
Damned Old Dudes Going Everywhere
Damn Overhauls Do Get Expensive
Dear Old Dad's Garbage Engine
Don't Our Dealers Gouge Everyone
Dodge Neon: Need Engine Overhauled Now (Sent in by Roger Markowitz)

FERRARI
Ferociously Elegant Racer Ravages All Roads Intuitively

FIAT
Found In A Trashcan (Sent in by a visitor)
Futile Italian Attempt at Transportation (Sent in by a visitor)
Failure In Italian Automotive Technology
Fix It All the Time
Fix it again, Tony!
Fix It Another Time

FIRESTONE
Firestone Inexplicably Recalls Explosive SUV Tires On Non-stable Explorers (I worked on this one for 2 hours! - Jeff)
Firestone Overstates Reliability Data (The best one I've come up with yet, my personal fav.- Jeff)

FORD
THUNDERBIRD: This Hoopty Usually Needs Daily Engine Repair But It Rolls Downhill (Sent in by Roger_Markowitz)
MUSTANG - Motor Usually Starts Then Almost Never Goes
Full Of Rust Deposits
Faithful, Obedient, Reliable, Dependable
F**KING OLD RETARDED DRIVER
Ford Focus....Ford F**ck Us
F**ker Only Rolls Downhill
Fancy Oil Recycling Device
Found On Rubbish Dump
F***ed Over Road Disaster!
F***ing Oakey's Really Dig'em
F**king Old Retarded Dudes
Frequent Overhaul, Rapid Depreciation (Sent in by a visitor)
F***ing Old Rebuilt Dodge (Sent in by a visitor)
Found On Rubbish Dump (Sent in by a visitor)
For Old Retired Drunks (Sent in by a visitor)
Here's a good one: FORD backwards --> Driver Returns On Foot
Here's another good one: FORD backwards --> Driver Relies On Family
Firestone Overstates Reliability Data
First On Recall Day
Fast On Race Day
For Off Road Driving
Fireball On Rear Damage (Sent in by a visitor)
First On Race Day (Sent in by a visitor)
First On Rust and Deterioration
Fix Or Repair Daily
Found On Road, Dead
Frequently Overhauled, Rarely Driven (Sent in by a visitor)
Fault Of R&D
MUSTANG - Mostly Unwanted Scrap Tin And Needless Garbage
F***ed On Raw Deal
Fast Only Rolling Downhill
Most tasteless one on the page: Found O.J. and Ron`s DNA
Flip Over, Read Directions
Fork Over Remaining Dough
F**king Owners Really Dumb
F***ed On Race Day
(F)illped (O)ver ®esevation (D)ecoration
(F)**ked (O)ver ®ebuilt (D)iahatsu
For Old Retired Dutchmen


GEO
Get Everything Overpriced
Got Everything Overhauled

GM
General Maintenance
Genital Motors
Give More
GiMme
Getting Malignant
Got Me
Grab Me

GMC
God's Mechanical Curse
Garage Man's Companion
Generic Motors Corporation
Got A Mechanic Coming?
Greatest Mistake Created
Great Mountain of Crap
Greasy Messy Contraption
Gay Man's Chevy
Gimme My Checkbook!
Get More Cash!

HONDA
Had One, Never Did Again
Horribly Overpriced, Needing Dad's Assistance
Hang On, Not Done Accelerating
Honest, Officer, Nobody Drank Anything (FromJames Bragg)
Happy Owners Never Drive Anything else
Honda Options: No Deal Available!
Hold On, No Dealer Add-ons!
Honda Options Never Deal Affordably
Hang On, No Dealer Acquisitions!

HUMMER
Hope U Made Me Extra Reliable (Sent in by Roger Markowitz)
Huge Ugly Mother, Mostly Eats Resources

HYUNDAI
Here's Y U Never Drive An Import
Hope You Understand: Nothing's Drivable And Inexpensive
Hardly Your Understanding New Dealer Allowance Incentive
Hold Your Usual Nitpicks, Designs Are Improved
Helps You Undergo New Debt After Inception
Hang Your UNDerwear Anywhere Inside
Hope You Understand, No Deals Available Inside

Jeep
Just Empty Every Pocket (Sent in by a visitor)
Just Expect Every Problem (Sent in by a visitor)
Just Eats Every Penny
Junk Everyone Eventually Piles
Just Expect Extra Payments

Jaguar
Just A Guess U Are Rich (Sent in by Roger Markowitz)

Kia
Keep It Away!
Kick It's Ass
Korean Imitation Accord
Korea's Imported Accident
Killer's Imported Asset
Kiss It Away
Killed In Action
Keep Inside Asia
Korea Invades America
KOREAN INDUSTRIAL ACCIDENT
Killer Implosion Awaits

LAMBORGHINI
Loser Always Maintains Big Old Rotten Gunk; Hardly Inflates Nobody's Image

LOTUS
Loads Of Trouble Usually Serious

Maserati
Must Also Suggest Extra Rope And Towing Implements (Sent in by Roger Markowitz)

MAZDA
Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along
Must Always Zoom Down Asphalt
Most Are Zealously Duped Always

MERCEDES
My Expensive Race Car Emits Dense Exhaust Smoke - But Efficiency Near Zero
Most Expensive Road Car Everyone Drives Except Steve
Merger Engaged Reverse Chrysler Entering Decline Evident Soon


MITSUBISHI
Manufactured In Taiwan Sold Under British Influence Shipped Here Incomplete
Management Incessantly Tolerates Socially Unacceptable Behavior, Ignoring Sexual Harassment Incidents
(Courtesy James Bragg, FightingChance.com)
May Involve Turbos, Suck Unless Boost Is Seriously High Inside (Sent in by a visitor)
Men In Tight Spots Uttering Bulls__t In Sexual Harassment Investigation (Sent in by a visitor)

MOPAR
Match Old Parts As Required
Move Over, Power Approaching Rapidly
My Old Pig Ain't Runnin'
Move Over People Are Racing
Mostly Old Parts And Rust
Motor On Pavement After Race
Moments Of Power Are Rare

NISSAN
Need I Say Something About Nothing
Never In Season Simply A No-show


OLDSMOBILE
Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Everyday
Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick`s Irregular Leftover Equipment

PONTIAC
Poor Old Ninny Thinks It's A Cadillac
Piece Of Nasty Tacky Icky Ass Crap
Pretty Overpriced Not That I Am Concerned

PORSCHE
PORSCHE- Plenty Of Receipts. Sorry, Can't Have Everything
PLENTY OF REPAIRS SERVICE CAN'T HELP EVERYTHING
Proof Only Rich Snobby Children Have Everything


SAAB
Some Ass Actually Boughtit!
Styling Absent After Buyout
Backwards >>>> Bad Asses Always Suffocate
Sorry Auto Assembled Backwards (Sent in by one of our visitors)
Sad Attempt At Beauty
Send Another Automobile Back
Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown
Sorry Assed American Buyers
Start Adding Additional Brake fluid
Stop Asking About Brakes!
Sorry As A Bum

SALEEN
Some Aristocrats Love Every Expensive Novelty

SATURN
Sorry Assed Transmission Under Repair Now
Some Argue That Ubiquitous Repairs Needed
Send Another Towtruck Ubiquitous Repairs Needed
Same American Trash Under Revised Name

SUBARU
Stupid Urbanites Bumbling Around Rural Areas
SUBARU backwards is: U R A BUS (You are a bus)

TOYOTA
Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto
This One You Oughta Tow Away
To Operate Your Own Terrific Automobile
Tolerances Over Yielding, Often Towed Away (Sent in by one of our visitors)
Toyota Overcharges You On Their Accessories

VOLVO
Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object
Very Overpriced Lame Vehicle Options

VW
Virtually Worthless
Very Wonderful
Very Weird
Very Old Lowered Kinky Sedan With A Great Engine Noise
Volks Who?
 
Good god man. Longest post of the week award goes to you.

I read a few.. This one kinda stood out.


HYUNDAI
Hope You Understand: Nothing's Drivable AND Inexpensive

:thumbsup:
 
they forgot
How Odd No Damn Acceleration


and that joke at the end sucked balls
 
i hate the feature that attaches new posts to a previous one...


Here's an interesting blog, nothing true or accurate about it, but discusses diffrent car companies and thier hidden agendas...

ie: VW and nazis
Honda catering to the homosexual community, etc

http://theautobuzz.blogspot.com/
 
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