1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Todays Joke

Discussion in 'Members' Lounge' started by reckedracing, Nov 23, 2005.

  1. reckedracing

    reckedracing TTIWWOP VIP

    Messages:
    21,056
    Likes Received:
    1,180
    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2002
    Location:
    NY
    some are REALLY horrible
    other got a chuckle

    my fav...
    HONDA
    Hang On, Not Done Accelerating

    enjoy...




    ACURA
    Always Catching Up, Rarely Ahead
    A Car Usually Rarely Appreciates

    AUDI
    Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
    Always Unsafe Designs Implemented
    Always Upside-down, Double Interest
    Another Understated Dealer Incentive
    A Used Dodge Incognito

    BMW
    Beautiful Mechanical Wonder
    Beautiful Models Wanted
    Bavarian Manure Wagon
    Biggest Metal Waste
    Big Money Works
    Bought My Wife
    Brutal Money Waster
    Break My Window
    Bring More Women
    Bring More Wrenches
    Bavarian Money Waster
    Bring My Wad!
    Blew My Wad!
    Big Money Wasted
    Bring Money Where?
    Buy More Women



    BUICK
    Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer

    CADILLAC
    Company Always Denies Its Lawful Liability After Collisions

    CAMARO
    Cash Always Miniscule After Retail Overpricing

    CHEVROLET
    Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips
    Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time
    Cheap Heap Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time


    CHEVY
    Can Hear Every Valve, Rod, or Lifter Every Time
    Can't Have Everything Vern, YaknowwhatImean?
    Cheapest Heap Ever Visualized Yet


    CHRYSLER
    Everyone knows who Lee Iacocca is right? His name IACOCCA stands for:
    I Am Chairman Of Chrysler Corporation America

    Company Has Recommended You Start Learning Engine Repair (From James Bragg)
    Company Has Rid Your Savings Legally: Electronic Robbery
    Chrysler Has Raped Your Sanity Loser - Expect Repercussions
    PT Loser (for PT Cruiser name)
    PT Boozer

    DODGE
    Darn Old Dirty Gas Eater
    Design Of Diabolical German Engineer
    Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere
    Damned Old Dudes Going Everywhere
    Damn Overhauls Do Get Expensive
    Dear Old Dad's Garbage Engine
    Don't Our Dealers Gouge Everyone
    Dodge Neon: Need Engine Overhauled Now (Sent in by Roger Markowitz)

    FERRARI
    Ferociously Elegant Racer Ravages All Roads Intuitively

    FIAT
    Found In A Trashcan (Sent in by a visitor)
    Futile Italian Attempt at Transportation (Sent in by a visitor)
    Failure In Italian Automotive Technology
    Fix It All the Time
    Fix it again, Tony!
    Fix It Another Time

    FIRESTONE
    Firestone Inexplicably Recalls Explosive SUV Tires On Non-stable Explorers (I worked on this one for 2 hours! - Jeff)
    Firestone Overstates Reliability Data (The best one I've come up with yet, my personal fav.- Jeff)

    FORD
    THUNDERBIRD: This Hoopty Usually Needs Daily Engine Repair But It Rolls Downhill (Sent in by Roger_Markowitz)
    MUSTANG - Motor Usually Starts Then Almost Never Goes
    Full Of Rust Deposits
    Faithful, Obedient, Reliable, Dependable
    F**KING OLD RETARDED DRIVER
    Ford Focus....Ford F**ck Us
    F**ker Only Rolls Downhill
    Fancy Oil Recycling Device
    Found On Rubbish Dump
    F***ed Over Road Disaster!
    F***ing Oakey's Really Dig'em
    F**king Old Retarded Dudes
    Frequent Overhaul, Rapid Depreciation (Sent in by a visitor)
    F***ing Old Rebuilt Dodge (Sent in by a visitor)
    Found On Rubbish Dump (Sent in by a visitor)
    For Old Retired Drunks (Sent in by a visitor)
    Here's a good one: FORD backwards --> Driver Returns On Foot
    Here's another good one: FORD backwards --> Driver Relies On Family
    Firestone Overstates Reliability Data
    First On Recall Day
    Fast On Race Day
    For Off Road Driving
    Fireball On Rear Damage (Sent in by a visitor)
    First On Race Day (Sent in by a visitor)
    First On Rust and Deterioration
    Fix Or Repair Daily
    Found On Road, Dead
    Frequently Overhauled, Rarely Driven (Sent in by a visitor)
    Fault Of R&D
    MUSTANG - Mostly Unwanted Scrap Tin And Needless Garbage
    F***ed On Raw Deal
    Fast Only Rolling Downhill
    Most tasteless one on the page: Found O.J. and Ron`s DNA
    Flip Over, Read Directions
    Fork Over Remaining Dough
    F**king Owners Really Dumb
    F***ed On Race Day
    (F)illped (O)ver ®esevation (D)ecoration
    (F)**ked (O)ver ®ebuilt (D)iahatsu
    For Old Retired Dutchmen


    GEO
    Get Everything Overpriced
    Got Everything Overhauled

    GM
    General Maintenance
    Genital Motors
    Give More
    GiMme
    Getting Malignant
    Got Me
    Grab Me

    GMC
    God's Mechanical Curse
    Garage Man's Companion
    Generic Motors Corporation
    Got A Mechanic Coming?
    Greatest Mistake Created
    Great Mountain of Crap
    Greasy Messy Contraption
    Gay Man's Chevy
    Gimme My Checkbook!
    Get More Cash!

    HONDA
    Had One, Never Did Again
    Horribly Overpriced, Needing Dad's Assistance
    Hang On, Not Done Accelerating
    Honest, Officer, Nobody Drank Anything (FromJames Bragg)
    Happy Owners Never Drive Anything else
    Honda Options: No Deal Available!
    Hold On, No Dealer Add-ons!
    Honda Options Never Deal Affordably
    Hang On, No Dealer Acquisitions!

    HUMMER
    Hope U Made Me Extra Reliable (Sent in by Roger Markowitz)
    Huge Ugly Mother, Mostly Eats Resources

    HYUNDAI
    Here's Y U Never Drive An Import
    Hope You Understand: Nothing's Drivable And Inexpensive
    Hardly Your Understanding New Dealer Allowance Incentive
    Hold Your Usual Nitpicks, Designs Are Improved
    Helps You Undergo New Debt After Inception
    Hang Your UNDerwear Anywhere Inside
    Hope You Understand, No Deals Available Inside

    Jeep
    Just Empty Every Pocket (Sent in by a visitor)
    Just Expect Every Problem (Sent in by a visitor)
    Just Eats Every Penny
    Junk Everyone Eventually Piles
    Just Expect Extra Payments

    Jaguar
    Just A Guess U Are Rich (Sent in by Roger Markowitz)

    Kia
    Keep It Away!
    Kick It's Ass
    Korean Imitation Accord
    Korea's Imported Accident
    Killer's Imported Asset
    Kiss It Away
    Killed In Action
    Keep Inside Asia
    Korea Invades America
    KOREAN INDUSTRIAL ACCIDENT
    Killer Implosion Awaits

    LAMBORGHINI
    Loser Always Maintains Big Old Rotten Gunk; Hardly Inflates Nobody's Image

    LOTUS
    Loads Of Trouble Usually Serious

    Maserati
    Must Also Suggest Extra Rope And Towing Implements (Sent in by Roger Markowitz)

    MAZDA
    Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along
    Must Always Zoom Down Asphalt
    Most Are Zealously Duped Always

    MERCEDES
    My Expensive Race Car Emits Dense Exhaust Smoke - But Efficiency Near Zero
    Most Expensive Road Car Everyone Drives Except Steve
    Merger Engaged Reverse Chrysler Entering Decline Evident Soon


    MITSUBISHI
    Manufactured In Taiwan Sold Under British Influence Shipped Here Incomplete
    Management Incessantly Tolerates Socially Unacceptable Behavior, Ignoring Sexual Harassment Incidents
    (Courtesy James Bragg, FightingChance.com)
    May Involve Turbos, Suck Unless Boost Is Seriously High Inside (Sent in by a visitor)
    Men In Tight Spots Uttering Bulls__t In Sexual Harassment Investigation (Sent in by a visitor)

    MOPAR
    Match Old Parts As Required
    Move Over, Power Approaching Rapidly
    My Old Pig Ain't Runnin'
    Move Over People Are Racing
    Mostly Old Parts And Rust
    Motor On Pavement After Race
    Moments Of Power Are Rare

    NISSAN
    Need I Say Something About Nothing
    Never In Season Simply A No-show


    OLDSMOBILE
    Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Everyday
    Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick`s Irregular Leftover Equipment

    PONTIAC
    Poor Old Ninny Thinks It's A Cadillac
    Piece Of Nasty Tacky Icky Ass Crap
    Pretty Overpriced Not That I Am Concerned

    PORSCHE
    PORSCHE- Plenty Of Receipts. Sorry, Can't Have Everything
    PLENTY OF REPAIRS SERVICE CAN'T HELP EVERYTHING
    Proof Only Rich Snobby Children Have Everything


    SAAB
    Some Ass Actually Boughtit!
    Styling Absent After Buyout
    Backwards >>>> Bad Asses Always Suffocate
    Sorry Auto Assembled Backwards (Sent in by one of our visitors)
    Sad Attempt At Beauty
    Send Another Automobile Back
    Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown
    Sorry Assed American Buyers
    Start Adding Additional Brake fluid
    Stop Asking About Brakes!
    Sorry As A Bum

    SALEEN
    Some Aristocrats Love Every Expensive Novelty

    SATURN
    Sorry Assed Transmission Under Repair Now
    Some Argue That Ubiquitous Repairs Needed
    Send Another Towtruck Ubiquitous Repairs Needed
    Same American Trash Under Revised Name

    SUBARU
    Stupid Urbanites Bumbling Around Rural Areas
    SUBARU backwards is: U R A BUS (You are a bus)

    TOYOTA
    Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto
    This One You Oughta Tow Away
    To Operate Your Own Terrific Automobile
    Tolerances Over Yielding, Often Towed Away (Sent in by one of our visitors)
    Toyota Overcharges You On Their Accessories

    VOLVO
    Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object
    Very Overpriced Lame Vehicle Options

    VW
    Virtually Worthless
    Very Wonderful
    Very Weird
    Very Old Lowered Kinky Sedan With A Great Engine Noise
    Volks Who?
     
  2. phyregod

    phyregod !!YTINASNI

    Messages:
    9,449
    Likes Received:
    225
    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2005
    Location:
    Central Texas
    Good god man. Longest post of the week award goes to you.

    I read a few.. This one kinda stood out.


    HYUNDAI
    Hope You Understand: Nothing's Drivable AND Inexpensive

    :thumbsup:
     
  3. E_SolSi

    E_SolSi Member of the 20 nut club Moderator VIP

    Messages:
    30,015
    Likes Received:
    3,945
    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2002
    Location:
    CT
    they forgot
    How Odd No Damn Acceleration


    and that joke at the end sucked balls
     
  4. reckedracing

    reckedracing TTIWWOP VIP

    Messages:
    21,056
    Likes Received:
    1,180
    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2002
    Location:
    NY
    i hate the feature that attaches new posts to a previous one...


    Here's an interesting blog, nothing true or accurate about it, but discusses diffrent car companies and thier hidden agendas...

    ie: VW and nazis
    Honda catering to the homosexual community, etc

    http://theautobuzz.blogspot.com/
     
  5. Sweet InStinct

    Sweet InStinct Hot Member

    Messages:
    1,096
    Likes Received:
    0
    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2003
    Location:
    Toronto/Ont/Canada
    My Fav

    Jaguar
    Just A Guess U Are Rich
     
  6. allbottledup

    allbottledup Senior Member

    Messages:
    1,548
    Likes Received:
    1
    Joined:
    May 31, 2004
    Location:
    Galloway, NJ
    that was great needed a good laugh
     
  7. StealthMode

    StealthMode Kung Foolin'

    Messages:
    2,150
    Likes Received:
    2
    Joined:
    Mar 12, 2003
    Location:
    Thornton, CO
    Cool, I've heard some of those, but not all of them of course.
     
  8. eg6sir

    eg6sir Supa Mod Moderator VIP

    Messages:
    21,703
    Likes Received:
    321
    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2005
    Location:
    661 BK CA
    damn.. did you guys see how many FORD had... [​IMG]
     
Verification:
Draft saved Draft deleted

Share This Page