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Todays Joke

Discussion in 'Members' Lounge' started by reckedracing, Dec 12, 2005.

  1. reckedracing

    reckedracing TTIWWOP VIP

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  2. Battle Pope

    Battle Pope New Member

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    heh heh
     
  3. reckedracing

    reckedracing TTIWWOP VIP

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    CINDERELLA wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won't let her. As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy Godmother appears, and promised to provide Cinderella with everything she needs to go to the ball, but only on two conditions. "First, you must wear a diaphragm."

    Cinderella agrees. "What's the second condition?"

    "You must be home by 2:00 a.m. Any later, and your diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin."

    Cinderella agrees to be home by 2:00 a.m. The appointed hour comes and goes, and Cinderella doesn't show up. Finally, at 5:00 a.m.

    Cinderella shows up, looking love struck and very satisfied.

    "Where have you been?" demands the Fairy Godmother. "Your diaphragm was supposed to turn into a pumpkin three hours ago!!!"

    " I met a prince, Fairy Godmother. He took care of everything."

    The Fairy Godmother stated, "I know of no prince with that kind of power! Tell me his name!" Cinderella replied, I can't remember, exactly...

    Peter, Peter, something or other.."

    ___________________________________________


    PINOCCHIO had a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain about splinters when they were having sex. Pinocchio, therefore, went to visit Gepetto to see if he could help. Gepetto suggested he try a little sandpaper wherever indicated and Pinocchio skipped away enlightened. A couple weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio bouncing happily through town and asked him, "How's the girlfriend?"

    Pinocchio replied, "Who needs a girlfriend?"

    _____________________________________________


    LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD was walking through the woods when suddenly the Big Bad Wolf jumped out from behind a tree and, holding a sword to her throat, said, "Red, I'm going to screw your brains out!"

    To that, Little Red Riding Hood calmly reached into her picnic basket and pulled out a ..44 magnum and pointed it at him and said, "No, you're not.

    You're going to eat me, just like it says in the book."

    ____________________________________________


    MICKEY MOUSE and MINNIE MOUSE were in divorce court and the judge said to Mickey, "You say here that your wife is crazy."

    Mickey replied, "I didn't say she was crazy, I said she's f**king Goofy."
    ___________________________________________

    SNOW WHITE saw Pinocchio walking through the woods so she ran up

    behind him, knocked him flat on his back, and then sat on his face

    crying, "Lie to me! Lie to me!"
     
  4. reckedracing

    reckedracing TTIWWOP VIP

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  5. pissedoffsol

    pissedoffsol RETIRED

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    lol that'sd great. :p
     
  6. crxtc_vtec

    crxtc_vtec Senior Member

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    Lufkin, Tx BIATCH!!!!!!!
    those are some good ones!!!
     
  7. Battle Pope

    Battle Pope New Member

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    lmmfao!!
     
  8. StealthMode

    StealthMode Kung Foolin'

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