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Today's jokes

Discussion in 'Members' Lounge' started by Battle Pope, Oct 28, 2005.

  1. Battle Pope

    Battle Pope New Member

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    A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started."



    Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"



    The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."

    Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says,



    "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger."



    He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then .."

    .

    He sighed ...............

    .



    "Let's put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box."


    ____________________________________________

    A blonde is hiking in the wilderness and comes across a beautiful lake. She stood there admiring the beauty and trying to figure out how to get across it, since the trail seemed to end.

    Just then, a second blonde came into view on the other side of the lake.

    First Blonde waves and yells: Hi!

    Second Blonde waves and yells: Hi!

    First Blonde: How do you get to the other side?

    Second Blonde: You ARE on the other side!

    ___________________________________________

    blonde was sitting in a restaurant engrossed in reading the newspaper. The headlines blared:

    "12 Brazilian Soldiers Killed in Terrorist Attack ."

    She shook her head at the sad news, and then turned to the guy sitting next to her and asked....

    "How many is a Brazilian?"
     
  2. swanny

    swanny Senior Member

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    hahah good shit,
     
  3. ripperbone

    ripperbone angry bear

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  4. pissedoffsol

    pissedoffsol RETIRED

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  5. B16RacerN2NR

    B16RacerN2NR Working Hard VIP

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    The first one had me ROFL'ing, the second 1 is ok, and the third I heard that one last week on the radio and i started laughing so hard the cars next to me at the stop light were staring at me weird :ph34r:
     
  6. phyregod

    phyregod !!YTINASNI

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    fucking hillarious. Thanks for the laugh. :thumbsup:
     
  7. Xaero3953

    Xaero3953 Senior Member

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    :werd: My 8 yr old cousin has better
     
  8. Battle Pope

    Battle Pope New Member

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    Then tell him to post them you useless bitch! I don't see anybody else posting jokes.
     
  9. CoreyR

    CoreyR Senior Member

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    hey i thought they were pretty funny :mrgreen:
     
  10. MadMaXXX

    MadMaXXX Mad Man

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    that last 1 was the best
     
  11. dveit

    dveit Well-Known Member VIP

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  12. Slo86GT

    Slo86GT Super Moderator

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    Never heard the Brazillian one... that was a'ight :)
     
  13. BigJ

    BigJ I'm just about that action Boss. VIP

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    I liked them.
     
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