If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you would have $49.00 today! If you purchased $1,000 of shares in AIG, you would have $33.00. If you purchased $1,000 of shares in Lehman Brothers, you would have $0.00 today. But, if you purchased $1,000 worth of beer, drank all the beer, turned in the aluminum cans for recycling, you would have $214.00. Therefore the best current investment plan is to drink heavily & recycle. It is called the 401-Keg Plan. Problem... If you live in a $.05 deposit state such as NY, you would need to turn in 4280 cans @ 5 cents each to get back 214.00 If you have $1000 and need to buy 4280 cans of beer, each can has to cost ~23 cents each. If you are drinking 23 cent cans of beer I am pretty sure that $214 is going to be used up buying asprin, advil, and gatorade. I forgot to figure in the pre-payment for deposit. so you would only have 1000-214 = $786 for beer, resulting in ~18 cent beers.

and a lil fyi i wasn't posting it for the joke, i was posting it for the mathematical analysis :fuckyou3:

4280 cans of beer is almost 12 cans a day. 12 cans a day of cheap beer, I couldn't imagine how bad off this poor sap is. Sad thing is I know some people who have drank that much by noon.