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Twenty nine lines to make you smile

Discussion in 'Members' Lounge' started by whiterabbit06, Aug 15, 2008.

  1. whiterabbit06

    whiterabbit06 Why oh why didn't I take the blue pill? VIP

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    Another one I got from work, enjoy!

    1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.
    2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
    3. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
    4. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
    5. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
    6. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me
    7. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
    8. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
    9. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing
    10. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
    11. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck- is-the-room- spinning medicine.
    12. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
    13. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
    14. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
    15. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
    16. Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!
    17. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
    18. Procrastinate Now!
    19. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
    20. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
    21. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
    22. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
    23. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
    24. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.
    25. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.
    26. Ham and eggs...A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
    27. The trouble with life is there's no background music.
    28. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.
    29. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.

    Appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends!
    Life is too short and friends are too few!
     
  2. newb

    newb phresh VIP

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    Lmao, those are good.
     
  3. INJEN78

    INJEN78 HS LEGEND

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    cool shit!!
    made me laugh:D
     
  4. B16RacerN2NR

    B16RacerN2NR Working Hard VIP

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    #12 couldn't be anymore fucking true...
     
  5. Briansol

    Briansol Admins Admin VIP

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  6. Spo0led

    Spo0led Got Boost?

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    Dover, Nj ..dont visit
  7. Slow&Delirious

    Slow&Delirious isn't fast or furious

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    i can assoicate with number 29.
     
  8. teggyguy

    teggyguy high density foot.

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  9. phyregod

    phyregod !!YTINASNI

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    29 of those, you'd be happy. And then your heart would blow the fuck up.
     
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