Celerity
Well-Known Member
(09:54:32) ED-: have you heard about our vampire parrots?
(09:54:38) Etienne Earl: Ummmmm
(09:54:41) Etienne Earl: I would say no
(09:54:54) ED-: they attack sheep and eat the fat around their kidneys
(09:55:02) Etienne Earl: Link, please
(09:55:02) ED-: while they're still alive
(09:55:05) ED-: This, of course, already happens to our famous kea: the mountain parrot. An entertaining bird, much admired for its plumage and cheeky disposition. However, high country farmers somewhat less admire it. The kea developed a taste for the fat surrounding the kidney of a sheep. After an attack, blood poisoning would inevitably kill the sheep. The farmer inevitably would kill the kea, but consider this: the sheep is worth at best $150, the kea to a bird fancier in Europe: $30,000.
(09:55:31) ED-: I had to sift through some asshole's speech to find that
(09:55:34) Etienne Earl: "Cheeky disposition"
(09:55:45) ED-: yeah
(09:55:47) Etienne Earl: "You cheeky bastard"
(09:55:58) ED-: if you park your car up at a ski-field
(09:56:01) ED-: they literally take it apart
(09:56:09) Etienne Earl: who ? the birds ?
(09:56:13) ED-: yup
(09:56:27) ED-: they're big green parrots that have the IQ of a 5 year old
(09:56:46) ED-: you come back and you might as well ahve parked in the bronx
(09:57:10) Etienne Earl: Kea - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
(09:57:14) ED-: they pull off the aerials, doorhandles, radiator grille (if you have one), the seal around the windscreen
(09:58:28) ED-: if I could get these to europe
(09:58:34) Etienne Earl: they are protected species ?!
(09:58:43) Etienne Earl: I would unleash them on Europe
(09:58:44) ED-: well you're not supposed to shoot them
(09:59:27) ED-: so yes, they're protected. most things should be except the introduced pests
(10:00:19) Etienne Earl: it's funny to see Parrots in snow
(10:00:26) Etienne Earl: our Parrots started from domestics
(10:00:29) Etienne Earl: and are alien here
(10:00:34) Etienne Earl: they aren't pests though
(10:00:43) ED-: these ones live in the snow as far as I'm aware
(10:00:57) ED-: tehy're big
(10:01:00) ED-: and walk like creeps
(10:01:06) Etienne Earl: I wonder if you can teach them to talk as well
(10:01:28) Etienne Earl: "I'm gonna cut you" "I'll fuck you up" "Give me the keys!"
(10:01:36) ED-: I'd say it'd be easy if you got a baby one
(10:01:38) ED-: heheheh
(10:02:02) Etienne Earl: train about 20 of them with threats and euphamisms, let them go in the wild to continue their knowledge
(10:02:23) Etienne Earl: give them enough broken english to threaten people's lives and buy concert tickets
(10:03:02) Etienne Earl: because Moby needs to be mauled by a group of ill-tempered - nay - "Cheeky Disposition" Parrots
(10:04:15) ED-: the whole mugging aspect is a pretty good idea
(10:04:21) ED-: they could also scalp the tickets
(10:04:58) Etienne Earl: "Hey, arsehole... why pay for those tickets"
(10:04:59) Etienne Earl: "meatbag"
(10:05:11) Etienne Earl: "Yo niggah got a sheep I can hold?"
(10:05:38) ED-: "hold"
(10:05:52) Etienne Earl: All ebonics are 100x funnier when spoken in Parrot screeches and whistles
(10:05:59) ED-: talk about a euphemism
(10:06:20) ED-: my cockatiel never said a word
(10:06:23) ED-: up until the age of 12
(10:06:32) Etienne Earl: when he finally learned "Hey, you smell gas"
(10:07:00) ED-: ahah. no, his final demise was a cat who climbed in through a window
(10:07:19) ED-: he survived 3 near drownings and a fractured leg
(10:07:30) Etienne Earl: "OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT <Muffled screeching><MUFFLED whistling>"
(10:08:10) ED-: the $400 green parrot that my youngest brother had spoke garbled nonsense
(10:08:11) Etienne Earl: "ED! CRAWWWWK ! I TOLD YOU ABOUT THAT FUCKIN CAT ! SQWAU !"
(10:08:25) ED-: that was traumatic!
(10:08:27) Etienne Earl: and Bjork was there to pick up the pieces
(10:08:53) ED-: jose cuervo was
(10:08:58) Etienne Earl: "OH this accident that happpeneed follow the dots! Coincidence! Makes sense ! Only with YOOOO OOO WOOO"
(10:09:19) Etienne Earl: "SQUAWK!"
(10:09:25) ED-: I've onyl got one of her albums
(10:09:55) Etienne Earl: "Big time senusality!" " CAW"
(10:10:01) ED-: a lot of them are too harpie sounding
(10:10:27) Etienne Earl: I can picture Bjork perched ontop of a car pulling the window gaskets out with her beak
(10:10:45) Etienne Earl: flashing nasty looks when the owner comes back
(10:11:11) Etienne Earl: "MEATBAG! SQUAWK !" "CAW ! Where's Moby?!"
(09:54:38) Etienne Earl: Ummmmm
(09:54:41) Etienne Earl: I would say no
(09:54:54) ED-: they attack sheep and eat the fat around their kidneys
(09:55:02) Etienne Earl: Link, please
(09:55:02) ED-: while they're still alive
(09:55:05) ED-: This, of course, already happens to our famous kea: the mountain parrot. An entertaining bird, much admired for its plumage and cheeky disposition. However, high country farmers somewhat less admire it. The kea developed a taste for the fat surrounding the kidney of a sheep. After an attack, blood poisoning would inevitably kill the sheep. The farmer inevitably would kill the kea, but consider this: the sheep is worth at best $150, the kea to a bird fancier in Europe: $30,000.
(09:55:31) ED-: I had to sift through some asshole's speech to find that
(09:55:34) Etienne Earl: "Cheeky disposition"
(09:55:45) ED-: yeah
(09:55:47) Etienne Earl: "You cheeky bastard"
(09:55:58) ED-: if you park your car up at a ski-field
(09:56:01) ED-: they literally take it apart
(09:56:09) Etienne Earl: who ? the birds ?
(09:56:13) ED-: yup
(09:56:27) ED-: they're big green parrots that have the IQ of a 5 year old
(09:56:46) ED-: you come back and you might as well ahve parked in the bronx
(09:57:10) Etienne Earl: Kea - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
(09:57:14) ED-: they pull off the aerials, doorhandles, radiator grille (if you have one), the seal around the windscreen
(09:58:28) ED-: if I could get these to europe
(09:58:34) Etienne Earl: they are protected species ?!
(09:58:43) Etienne Earl: I would unleash them on Europe
(09:58:44) ED-: well you're not supposed to shoot them
(09:59:27) ED-: so yes, they're protected. most things should be except the introduced pests
(10:00:19) Etienne Earl: it's funny to see Parrots in snow
(10:00:26) Etienne Earl: our Parrots started from domestics
(10:00:29) Etienne Earl: and are alien here
(10:00:34) Etienne Earl: they aren't pests though
(10:00:43) ED-: these ones live in the snow as far as I'm aware
(10:00:57) ED-: tehy're big
(10:01:00) ED-: and walk like creeps
(10:01:06) Etienne Earl: I wonder if you can teach them to talk as well
(10:01:28) Etienne Earl: "I'm gonna cut you" "I'll fuck you up" "Give me the keys!"
(10:01:36) ED-: I'd say it'd be easy if you got a baby one
(10:01:38) ED-: heheheh
(10:02:02) Etienne Earl: train about 20 of them with threats and euphamisms, let them go in the wild to continue their knowledge
(10:02:23) Etienne Earl: give them enough broken english to threaten people's lives and buy concert tickets
(10:03:02) Etienne Earl: because Moby needs to be mauled by a group of ill-tempered - nay - "Cheeky Disposition" Parrots
(10:04:15) ED-: the whole mugging aspect is a pretty good idea
(10:04:21) ED-: they could also scalp the tickets
(10:04:58) Etienne Earl: "Hey, arsehole... why pay for those tickets"
(10:04:59) Etienne Earl: "meatbag"
(10:05:11) Etienne Earl: "Yo niggah got a sheep I can hold?"
(10:05:38) ED-: "hold"
(10:05:52) Etienne Earl: All ebonics are 100x funnier when spoken in Parrot screeches and whistles
(10:05:59) ED-: talk about a euphemism
(10:06:20) ED-: my cockatiel never said a word
(10:06:23) ED-: up until the age of 12
(10:06:32) Etienne Earl: when he finally learned "Hey, you smell gas"
(10:07:00) ED-: ahah. no, his final demise was a cat who climbed in through a window
(10:07:19) ED-: he survived 3 near drownings and a fractured leg
(10:07:30) Etienne Earl: "OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT <Muffled screeching><MUFFLED whistling>"
(10:08:10) ED-: the $400 green parrot that my youngest brother had spoke garbled nonsense
(10:08:11) Etienne Earl: "ED! CRAWWWWK ! I TOLD YOU ABOUT THAT FUCKIN CAT ! SQWAU !"
(10:08:25) ED-: that was traumatic!
(10:08:27) Etienne Earl: and Bjork was there to pick up the pieces
(10:08:53) ED-: jose cuervo was
(10:08:58) Etienne Earl: "OH this accident that happpeneed follow the dots! Coincidence! Makes sense ! Only with YOOOO OOO WOOO"
(10:09:19) Etienne Earl: "SQUAWK!"
(10:09:25) ED-: I've onyl got one of her albums
(10:09:55) Etienne Earl: "Big time senusality!" " CAW"
(10:10:01) ED-: a lot of them are too harpie sounding
(10:10:27) Etienne Earl: I can picture Bjork perched ontop of a car pulling the window gaskets out with her beak
(10:10:45) Etienne Earl: flashing nasty looks when the owner comes back
(10:11:11) Etienne Earl: "MEATBAG! SQUAWK !" "CAW ! Where's Moby?!"
