dont really know why. my stress level is through the roof, but my blood pressure is not. i just have these vivid images of killing in my mind. i truly only with death upon two people i have ever encountered in my lifetime and for alot of the same reason i will not disclose here. my assistant has a hard time getting to work lately. hes got a free ride every morning (me) but say she "has a ride" then doesnt show up. i told him if his pride hurts riding in a $1300 mirage, then suck it up cuz after nearly 200K the $1300 mirage still runs and the $20K wrx does not. i picked him up this morning and he apologized. also, i HATE the VP that was hired for the company. hes a bitter old selfish little man. hes trying to control everything. this morning, i deleted 1/2 the important shit in his inbox. he'll never have a clue. i have this uncontrollable urge to drive my car into the ground. why? i dont really know. i just cant stand it anymore. i beat the piss out of it every second im behind the wheel, uncaring as such. my apartment that i live in is really really nice. most people my age would kill to have an apartment as i do. however, i cant stand being at home. there are other things, but i dont feel like typing anymore. maybe i should seek therapy?