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What not to have on your resume.

Discussion in 'Members' Lounge' started by Loco Honkey, Feb 6, 2004.

  1. Loco Honkey

    Loco Honkey Banned

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  2. DarkHand

    DarkHand Senior Member VIP

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    Hey those were my duties when I was out of work, too! Er, I mean 'self-employed'
     
  3. Tonyd0821

    Tonyd0821 Banned

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    HERES WHAT TONYD would write...

    Desired Job Title: AGRICULTURAL EQUIPMENT OPERATORS
    Relocate: Will travel to the far ends of Madagascar if need be
    Area of Choice: St. Johnsbury Area

    Objective: forestry/carpentry


    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Education and Training
    Last School Attended:
    curently pursuing my BA at blah blah blah college

    St. Johnsbury VT. USA 05819
    Educational Level: Two years majoring in the facillitation of arboreal related enviroments


    Training or other skills:
    Timber harvester
    Carpenter
    Tree pruner
    mechanic
    crew leader

    Strengths:
    dedication to excellence, great team player, professional and great
    with interpersonal communication skills
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Experience
    self employed
    From: 1993 thru 2004
    Duties:
    owned and operated my own business. Duties included, chopping down wood, driving said wood to lumbermill, running the entire office, scrubbing toilets and washing floors.


    self employed
    From: 1990 thru 2004
    Duties:
    owned and operated my own business. Duties included, chopping down wood, driving said wood to lumbermill, running the entire office, scrubbing toilets and washing floors.

    ASPLUNDH TREE
    From: 2003 thru 2004
    Duties:
    As a crew foreman, I facillitated the removal of ardous aboreal environments with dilligent care and duty while maintaining a hardworking and loyal crew.


    self employed
    From: 1990 thru 2004
    Duties:
    Fuck it, why lie? I was on welfare.....the "tree business" just aint what it used to be
     
  4. Tonyd0821

    Tonyd0821 Banned

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    even with my revisions....that still is a weak fucking resume.

    this guy needs to get with the times....
     
  5. bigdaddyIII

    bigdaddyIII Senior Member

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    III's take:

    Desired Job Title: AGRICULTURAL EQUIPMENT OPERATORS
    Relocate: if the job requires it
    Area of Choice: St. Johnsbury Area

    Objective: forestry/carpentry


    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Education and Training
    Last School Attended:
    BA pending completion of nessesary requirements

    St. Johnsbury VT. USA 05819
    Educational Level: Two years majoring in the facillitation of arboreal related enviroments


    Training or other skills:
    Timber harvester
    Carpenter
    Tree pruner
    mechanic
    crew leader

    Strengths:
    dedication to excellence, great team player, professional and great
    with interpersonal communication skills
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Experience
    Self financed business venture
    From: 1993 thru 2004
    Duties:
    owned and operated my own business. Duties included, chopping down wood, driving said wood to lumbermill, running the entire office, scrubbing toilets and washing floors.


    Independent building resource consultant
    From: 1990 thru 2004
    Duties:
    established and maintained my own forestry start up. Duties included, chopping down wood, driving said wood to lumbermill, running the entire office, scrubbing toilets and washing floors.

    ASPLUNDH TREE
    From: 2003 thru 2004
    Duties:
    As a crew foreman, I facillitated the removal of ardous aboreal environments with dilligent care and duty while maintaining a hardworking and loyal crew.


    Diversity based income
    From: 1990 thru 2004
    Duties: Various forms of labor, including, but not limited to, begging, panhandling, borrowing, mooching, pawning, etc.
     
  6. Slo86GT

    Slo86GT Super Moderator

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    .doc's don't copy/paste into forums too well. :p
     
    Last edited: Nov 2, 2013
  7. Tonyd0821

    Tonyd0821 Banned

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    can i give you some constructive criticism jody?


    your email address screams 16 year old kid. maybe create a new, more professional email address...

    my .02 cents :D
     
  8. Tonyd0821

    Tonyd0821 Banned

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    and I know i will get shit from you "professionals" out there....

    but

    "Personal and Professional references available upon request" has worked wonders for me in my short lived Corporate Career for a summer job....
     
  9. jamesA

    jamesA Well known pissed off telephone guy VIP

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    fake or revised, that's still not as weak as mine.



    That's a national business?? :blink:

    They're also here in Fort Wayne.
     
  10. Loco Honkey

    Loco Honkey Banned

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    That makes me think, "Ass plunder."
     
  11. Tonyd0821

    Tonyd0821 Banned

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    bunch of big sweaty burley men working alone in the forest....

    makes sense to me :lol:
     
  12. Dustin_m

    Dustin_m Active Member

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  13. jamesA

    jamesA Well known pissed off telephone guy VIP

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    :lol:
    no mine would read 2 yrs at arbys...3 months at meijer...2 years at OTS....7 months at hungry howies pizza...and 1 month thus far at east of chicago pizza...

    along with only 4 months (1 quarter or was it semester? I dunno) of computer networking and DOS programming classes at Ivy Tech Jan-April of 02. :)

    Pretty pathetic huh? :blink:
     
  14. Dustin_m

    Dustin_m Active Member

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    Damn i got more jobs and more school and I'm probably a few years younger too.
     
  15. Slo86GT

    Slo86GT Super Moderator

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    On the one I submitted last week, I put jodybarber@hotmail.com which is my new(er) Hotmail addy. :p
     
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