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Who says Airlines don't have senses of humor??

Discussion in 'Members' Lounge' started by ScrapinSi, Dec 28, 2004.

  1. ScrapinSi

    ScrapinSi Senior Member

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    > After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which
    > conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during
    the
    > flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct
    the
    > problem and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what
    > remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets
    before
    > the next flight.
    > Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of
    > humor. Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems
    as
    > submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance
    > engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never
    had
    > an accident.
    > (P = The problem logged by the pilot.)
    > (S = The solution and action taken by the mechanics.)
    > *P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
    > *S: Almost replaced left inside main tire..
    > *P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
    > *S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
    > *P: Something loose in cockpit.
    > *S: something tightened in cockpit.
    > *P: Dead bugs on windshield.
    > *S: Live bugs on back-order.
    > *P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-feet-per-minute
    > descent.
    > *S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
    > *P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
    > *S: Evidence removed.
    > *P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
    > *S: DME volume set to more believable level.
    > *P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
    > *S: That's what they're there for.
    > *P: IFF inoperative.
    > *S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
    > *P: suspected crack in windshield.
    > *S: suspect you're right.
    > *P: Number 3 engine missing.
    > *S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
    > *P: Aircraft handles funny.
    > *S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
    > *P: Target radar hums.
    > *S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
    > *P: Mouse in cockpit.
    > *S: Cat installed.
    > *P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget
    > pounding on something with a hammer.
    > *S: Took hammer away from midget
     
  2. B16

    B16 Super Moderator VIP

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    :lol:
     
  3. FFCiv

    FFCiv Senior Member

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  4. Celerity

    Celerity Well-Known Member

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    Ultimate in smart ass.
     
  5. Celerity

    Celerity Well-Known Member

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    I love the SR71 stories:



    -> S
     
  6. Battle Pope

    Battle Pope New Member

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  7. jamesA

    jamesA Well known pissed off telephone guy VIP

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    :lmao:

    I've read those before. Still great though.
     
  8. BodyDroppedNikes

    BodyDroppedNikes ...PENDEJO.... VIP

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    LOL

    i like the SR-71 ones posted. where did you get those at?
     
  9. Airjockie

    Airjockie Watanabe Whore!!!

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    Some of my favorite jokes.....oldies, but goodies... :lol:
     
  10. Airjockie

    Airjockie Watanabe Whore!!!

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  11. Citizen_Insane

    Citizen_Insane Senior Member

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    :lol: those are great, got a good laugh out of me!
     
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