Why does she have to be this way....
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formby
learning in progress
Nah, she's on the patch; well not any more i ripped it off her the next mourning after our discussion...
Last night she told me something that made me understand her a little more. she said that the main reason she tells me yes and doesn’t do it is because she doesn’t want to tell me no because we might fight more; AND she also told me that she feels like I try to control her by asking and telling her to do things the way I like them to be done.
So I guess I’m being a control freak. But I still don’t think that that’s a good enough excuse to totally disregard what I ask her to do. When she asks me to do something and tells me how she wants it. I do it or I tell her no.
Celerity
Well-Known Member
You've got issues. And not with her either. You have a Perception issue that will ultimately destroy your life.
Sit back and think about it. you have a problem you can't solve, nothing seems to make sense, and the conclusions that you're drawing also don't make sense.
What does that equal ? Perception issues.
Sit back and think about it. you have a problem you can't solve, nothing seems to make sense, and the conclusions that you're drawing also don't make sense.
What does that equal ? Perception issues.
shes talking to you
work it from there. ask her how you can help make things better from her point of view.
formby
learning in progress
all living things have issues. hence mine
but i do understand some of what you are saying... not all
am i just worrying about nothing?
i guess i could have bigger issues with her, but i think that communication is one of the most important parts of a healthy relationship; and thats all i want.
yeah she's trying. that's great
atleast i know she is listening [to somethings]
i guess i could have bigger issues with her, but i think that communication is one of the most important parts of a healthy relationship; and thats all i want.
shes talking to youwork it from there. ask her how you can help make things better from her point of view.
yeah she's trying. that's great
atleast i know she is listening [to somethings]
steve you tell me i have that same issue lol
I suck at girls....but here's my take.
If shes not talking to you, its because she's nervous about talking about it with you. It might be something stupid or totally meaningless in any way shape or form.... but somehow, she doesn't fully think you'll understand, or get mad at her about it.
And everytime you raise your voice, or press an issue, it only makes it worse.
She married you for a reason. She loves you and trusts you. but as time went on, you got more comfortable with her, and the little nit-picky fights sstart to come out. Where in the past, you'd hold your tongue, now you say what's on your mind. And she doesn't know how you're going to react to things she might say, so she says less and less.
you're on a bad path, heading to the massive D-word in a couple years.
Unless, of course, you remedy the situation now before its too late.
What I'd suggest....
do everything. don't ask her for shit. do the dishes, make dinner, take out the dogs, whatever. do it all. don't ask her to do anything. eventually, she'll notice.
now, it might not solve anything, but it takes time away from her.... and she'll hate that. girls want your attention. when you're running around doing everything, and don't have any time for her, she'll start to open up a little bit, voluteer to do something FOR you instead of you having to ask her to do it.
eventually, it will balance out. she'll do some things, you'll do some others.and hopefully, live happily ever after.
If shes not talking to you, its because she's nervous about talking about it with you. It might be something stupid or totally meaningless in any way shape or form.... but somehow, she doesn't fully think you'll understand, or get mad at her about it.
And everytime you raise your voice, or press an issue, it only makes it worse.
She married you for a reason. She loves you and trusts you. but as time went on, you got more comfortable with her, and the little nit-picky fights sstart to come out. Where in the past, you'd hold your tongue, now you say what's on your mind. And she doesn't know how you're going to react to things she might say, so she says less and less.
you're on a bad path, heading to the massive D-word in a couple years.
Unless, of course, you remedy the situation now before its too late.
What I'd suggest....
do everything. don't ask her for shit. do the dishes, make dinner, take out the dogs, whatever. do it all. don't ask her to do anything. eventually, she'll notice.
now, it might not solve anything, but it takes time away from her.... and she'll hate that. girls want your attention. when you're running around doing everything, and don't have any time for her, she'll start to open up a little bit, voluteer to do something FOR you instead of you having to ask her to do it.
eventually, it will balance out. she'll do some things, you'll do some others.and hopefully, live happily ever after.
Battle Pope
Well-Known Member
History tells us that if you want a problem to be solved, talking is completely ineffective.
You have to DO something to see results.
You have to DO something to see results.
Celerity
Well-Known Member
Been there, done that, got the t-shirt - doesn't work.
You'll drive more of a stake between you if you play hard-to-get. Taking one step back for two steps forward is a great saying, but unfortunately it's worth less than the gum on my shoe.
It's also "game" like, and some people don't like games.
You'll drive more of a stake between you if you play hard-to-get. Taking one step back for two steps forward is a great saying, but unfortunately it's worth less than the gum on my shoe.
It's also "game" like, and some people don't like games.
Battle Pope
Well-Known Member
Have you actually suggested anything intelligible that you think WOULD work?
