Women 101
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To be perfectly honest, my g/f and I are still not "dating" or "going out" Why, because when I do this it totaly flips me around, I start looking for things wrong with her or any girl for that matter...and I didn't wanna do this anymore, so sometimes a title can mean more than you think....I enjoy being with someone, and they enjoy being with me, I leave it at that, if they cheat on you (not so much cheating because your not really dating but you get the idea) then she never liked you that much anyhow...I find you can find out what a person is really made of this way...I can't think of a question right now about girls, but let me get back to you on that one I'm sure I have plenty.
Be independant for awhile. Give her what she want's, she want's to be left alone then do so.
It happend to me, and i tell you it's fucking hard! But that's what i did, and i'm back with her.
For the "i want to understand women" part! Sorry to say this like that but, Forget it! women, girls, female are just so fucked up. But i like what rixXxceboy sayed about the girls comparing to there ideal mate. I think it's true in a way.
Girls are weird, and when things like that happend you can't really ask your self question on why it happends or else your gonna kill your self, you just have to kinda let go, and try of doing something else.
Like i sayed, be independant and give her what she want's, if she really loves you then she will be back without a dought.
It happend to me, and i tell you it's fucking hard! But that's what i did, and i'm back with her.
For the "i want to understand women" part! Sorry to say this like that but, Forget it! women, girls, female are just so fucked up. But i like what rixXxceboy sayed about the girls comparing to there ideal mate. I think it's true in a way.
Girls are weird, and when things like that happend you can't really ask your self question on why it happends or else your gonna kill your self, you just have to kinda let go, and try of doing something else.
Like i sayed, be independant and give her what she want's, if she really loves you then she will be back without a dought.
94RedSiGal
Senior Member
Sorry Brian. I agree with Jeffie about giving her space, and with Tony and Calesta that things were going too fast with her.
So don't call her and just work on finishing your car. If she does call, cut her off short, tell her that your in the middle of work crisis, another call coming in or something like that. Don't let her completely speak her mind. Act absentminded about what she is saying. Hold her off as long as possible. Try to get out of giving her a Christmas present for her this year. lol. If fact, if the two of you do get back together, presents to her for the holidays and her birthday should be small and casual. More friend-like that coming from a bf.
If she was doing most of the talking like that, then she needs to work on herself. Women are just more verbal about their thoughts. I'm sure that you were hearing her right. Stick with your quality over quantity thing, but she has failed in the quality part, let her prove to you that she deserves re-consideration. It's also possible that there was some sabotage on the part of her friends. While it would be great if she had the idea that other girls were interested in you, stay on the edge of moving on. Don't lose your dating integrity because of her.
Somehow, the two of you were rushing too much still. Hasn't it been only a few weeks of dating? Maybe things were going too well on her side. Sort of like she could imagine the marriage by next spring, but she doesn't know what she wants to do with her life yet. Whatever issues she has, she needs to sort out herself. I don't think that you can help her end them sooner.
Just some rambles. It's really hard to say exactly what is going on with the two of you as I've never seen the two of you together in person.
believe it or not man, sometimes if they are way into u early on it scares them. i remember with my last ex that happened, but once she finally got over that hump she was into me like there were no other guys on the planet. sometimes its just the fact that they like to avoid falling for u but they can't because u overwhelm them like that thus the scary sense they get.what u do in this case is just give her some time so that she gets the realization of what she wants, and she will come back when she does. i've been on numerous dates this last summer and believe me i can't get over that "seeing" phase no matter what i do. now that i have a girl thats a keeper, shes not attractive to the point where i'd keep her. life is just fucked up like that...
La_Pieuvre
Senior Member
yeah you got to give them time. simple to say but harder to do.
I got dumped by my girl a month ago, and while it hurts like a kick to the nuts, I still believe that over time she'll come back to me. But then again I could just be stuck in my delusional state of mind.
Oh well, time will tell.
I hope things go better for you Brian as you seem to have through a lot of relationship problems recently.
I got dumped by my girl a month ago, and while it hurts like a kick to the nuts, I still believe that over time she'll come back to me. But then again I could just be stuck in my delusional state of mind.
Oh well, time will tell.
I hope things go better for you Brian as you seem to have through a lot of relationship problems recently.
i think that it has been a proven fact by me and a lot of my friends here that women like assholes. or money. i remember when i went cruising in my friends hooked-up bmw and got tons of girls. and when we went out in my primered crx we got none. and i think that you are gettin attached too quickly. it's been like what??? 2-3weeks and you already care about her a lot. i think that you can't truley care about someone unless you've been with them for longer than that. but maybe you can. just dont talk to her and then she'll start to think that you don't like her anymore then she'll try to get you to like her again. women always want what they can't have. do what redsi said. just don't take most of her calls(take like one or two a day.) and what i want to know about women is......why do they act so gay (like homosexual) with their friends. it's cool and all but if your gonna feel each others boobs why can't it be in my bed with me watching??????
crazylxracer
Member
A somewhat similar breakup happened to me. She said "I can't handle a relationship with you right now" She claimed to be too stressed out about school and family (it was bad but i didnt think that bad) So we went back to friends w/ benefits and less interaction. Well then we dont chill together for about 2 weeks. Then my friend has to tell me shes goin out w/ someone else. She claims "jus for prom" well i figure since i was her best friend we would go. Well i'm crazy pissed off and she keeps on wondering why. So that jus pissed me off more. One more thing is I never got a fucking reason what I did wrong. I treated her like a queen but i wasnt overbearing and I had helped her out w/ so many family problems. Well I could care less what she does now but Its been hard to get into a relationship cuz I've never gottin a clear answer on what I did wrong. She doesnt even know or jus doesnt want to tell me. Thats what pisses me off
Cliff's-notes advice: Be honest to each other, Don't push her away like I did just cuz ur hurt. And make sure you guys do talk about this cuz that hurt our relationship, she never could talk about her feelings. Well I hope it works out for you man, I actually am better off w/o my ex shes psycho. If you guys are meant to be, It will be.
Cliff's-notes advice: Be honest to each other, Don't push her away like I did just cuz ur hurt. And make sure you guys do talk about this cuz that hurt our relationship, she never could talk about her feelings. Well I hope it works out for you man, I actually am better off w/o my ex shes psycho. If you guys are meant to be, It will be.
IDMaxGuy
Senior Member
go to this website, it explains how to approch women, and also kinda what they think. most of it works and most of it is true.
http://www.becomeaplayer.com
http://www.becomeaplayer.com
94RedSiGal
Senior Member
Just a reminder guys, us females have gotten the same treatment too. Sometimes things just don't work out and the other side just don't want to take the time to end things decently. They may not even know why they are feeling that way too. They could even be thinking that they should like you, but then they get all crazy and start making shit up about why it was your fault. If you try to reason with them, they just act worse and spread these lies on to their friends. I've really been there too... so it's best just to walk away. Running would be a better move. lol.
And the cheating thing... well just two weeks ago, I was at a party. I was talking to this one guy on and off all night. Nice funny guy. He was drunk, and we still talked about cars. He's a former eg Si owner. I wanted to buy some stuff that he has just lying around his garage. At one point, he says goodbye, says that he has to go to his gf's house. He tells me that she has a daughter, and that the daughter really likes him. Later on, I see him again. One of his friends decided that he was too drunk to drive. That was cool. Fast forward ahead to several hours later as I try to doze off on a couch in the upstairs living room. This guy is nuzzling my ear and trying to "take care of me". I politely decline and go to sleep. But hey, what was that all about? He's got a gf.
Lastly, guys and girls are just wired up differently mentally and physically. Just accept that and do the best that you both can. Have a good time and make each other laugh. Don't focus on the bad stuff.
my last ex dumped me in an email saying she "couldnt do this anymore". so i called her up and said is this really what u want? shes like "yeah........ i think so" im like we've been thru alot and gotten over alot and now u do this to us? anyway, i begged like a dog and she just wasnt giving out. so i said thats no problem on my behalf since shes a liabilty most of the time anyway. a couple of weeks later i get a call while playin pool with my buddies and it was her, wondering if i "really cared" in the year we were together. i told her i did but i was just sick of her shit and her call was basically to get back together. but i stayed strong and resisted the temptation of going back even tho it hurts to see her with my other ex's bro. now im trying to get with my other ex to get her back. my other ex was best friends with her and now they hate each other.
Yeah, this is what always happened to me. I've never been dumped for a normal reason... it's always been because she was cheating.
Anyhow, I keep saying it: cars don't cheat! I think there are a lot better things to put ones' love/energy/time into. Imagine how much time you wasted on your last bitch, and now imagine that you spent that time learning German or restoring an old hot rod or some shit like that.
haccord141
Senior Member
tell her that you are there for her, and do whats she asks, keep in touch, and then when things do settle down, pick the relationship back up were u left off. Maybe buy her something instead of finishing the sol. then go back to the sol. It's all about balancing things out, so everything works together!
Peace
Jeff
well, just to update here
the whole space thing, once again- its not me guys.
I have not smothered her at all.
i get out of work at 8am. by 8:02 when i got to my car, i had 3 missed calls, from her. (I turn my ringer off in the morning). I get into my car, and shes calling again.
"I gotta get ready for class, but i will call you on my way in to school"
ok, so she calls me again a half hour later
"we need to talk, but not now"
ok, then when?
"later on"
ooooooooooooooooookkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
10 min later,
"I don't have time to talk, so i will write you an email about some things later in class"
okkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
i never got an email
600 pm, im waking up. i have 3 missed calls, and 1 voicemail from her.
"call me when you get up"
i take a shower and go get something to eat, and call her on my way back from subway.
she avoided it again.
"my neighbor is over, i'll call you back in a little while"
oooooooooookkkkkkkkkk
10 min later, she calls back. tells me she is going to see a friend for an hour or so, and that she'd call me back later
oooooooooooooooooooookkkkkkkkkk
2 hours later, she calls me again. small talks it, then:
"ohh the baseball game is on. I'll call you back later"
I flip.
In a calm collected tone of voice, I said, all day, you have been pushing it away, avoiding the situation. And now, a baseball game is more important than working things out with me.
well, that pissed her off. "thats not true.. blah blah"
i said, "it is. you want to hang up with me so you can watch tv. that makes me feel like a pile of shit. you know what, why don't you call me when you are ready to talk, cuz i can't take this shit. It's fucking with my head"
polietly, we hang up.
20 min later, she calls, and we talk.
basically she wants to be with me, but feels bad about it cuz she can't give me what she wants to give me- 100%. I told her, if all you've been giving me is 50%, i can't wait to see what 100 is like. you're not going to loose me by giving me 50- you're going to loose me by giving me 0 like you wanted yesterday.
I thought it was smooth, and frankly, its really how i feel. I like what we had going, and if it was only 50%, then fucking A, All i can do is wait and think abotu how awesome it will be when its 100%. She didn't think it was as good as i did i guess. she says she feels bad about it. I told her its ok. I understand shes busy. she goes to school full time, works full time, and all kinda of other crap going on. And I'm ok with it, but shes not because she can't give me what she wants to give me.
Does that make any sense?
After talking a little more pretty much this whole situation was a waste of time, because we are right back to where we started- talking, seeing each other, whatever you want to call it- but not quite a full relationship just yet. Some stuff has to settle out on her end first, and once again, I'm ok with that. I told her from the start that I was ok with it.
I guess the moral of all this, is that, women show they care in mysterious ways.
She said straight out that she likes me so much, cares about me so much, and wants to be with me, but she simply feels that she can't be what I want her to be for me. How can I convince her otherwise?
the whole space thing, once again- its not me guys.
I have not smothered her at all.
i get out of work at 8am. by 8:02 when i got to my car, i had 3 missed calls, from her. (I turn my ringer off in the morning). I get into my car, and shes calling again.
"I gotta get ready for class, but i will call you on my way in to school"
ok, so she calls me again a half hour later
"we need to talk, but not now"
ok, then when?
"later on"
ooooooooooooooooookkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
10 min later,
"I don't have time to talk, so i will write you an email about some things later in class"
okkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
i never got an email
600 pm, im waking up. i have 3 missed calls, and 1 voicemail from her.
"call me when you get up"
i take a shower and go get something to eat, and call her on my way back from subway.
she avoided it again.
"my neighbor is over, i'll call you back in a little while"
oooooooooookkkkkkkkkk
10 min later, she calls back. tells me she is going to see a friend for an hour or so, and that she'd call me back later
oooooooooooooooooooookkkkkkkkkk
2 hours later, she calls me again. small talks it, then:
"ohh the baseball game is on. I'll call you back later"
I flip.
In a calm collected tone of voice, I said, all day, you have been pushing it away, avoiding the situation. And now, a baseball game is more important than working things out with me.
well, that pissed her off. "thats not true.. blah blah"
i said, "it is. you want to hang up with me so you can watch tv. that makes me feel like a pile of shit. you know what, why don't you call me when you are ready to talk, cuz i can't take this shit. It's fucking with my head"
polietly, we hang up.
20 min later, she calls, and we talk.
basically she wants to be with me, but feels bad about it cuz she can't give me what she wants to give me- 100%. I told her, if all you've been giving me is 50%, i can't wait to see what 100 is like. you're not going to loose me by giving me 50- you're going to loose me by giving me 0 like you wanted yesterday.
I thought it was smooth, and frankly, its really how i feel. I like what we had going, and if it was only 50%, then fucking A, All i can do is wait and think abotu how awesome it will be when its 100%. She didn't think it was as good as i did i guess. she says she feels bad about it. I told her its ok. I understand shes busy. she goes to school full time, works full time, and all kinda of other crap going on. And I'm ok with it, but shes not because she can't give me what she wants to give me.
Does that make any sense?
After talking a little more pretty much this whole situation was a waste of time, because we are right back to where we started- talking, seeing each other, whatever you want to call it- but not quite a full relationship just yet. Some stuff has to settle out on her end first, and once again, I'm ok with that. I told her from the start that I was ok with it.
I guess the moral of all this, is that, women show they care in mysterious ways.
She said straight out that she likes me so much, cares about me so much, and wants to be with me, but she simply feels that she can't be what I want her to be for me. How can I convince her otherwise?
Not to weird you out or be cruel, but were you like the heavy set pale dorky kid that got picked on in High School?
to me, from reading all these women posts that you make, its as if you have zero self esteem and your outlook on life is so pessimistic.
if you aren't already, try being a bit more 'chipper' and happy. be outgoing. be fun. be interesting. it sounds hard to some people but it really isn't. if you're sociable and let that fact be known than people will come to you. no need to curl up in a shell, it will just lead to unhappiness in the end.
...this is just my observation and experience of course, but if it sounds like its hitting close to home try doing some of the things i said.
to me, from reading all these women posts that you make, its as if you have zero self esteem and your outlook on life is so pessimistic.
if you aren't already, try being a bit more 'chipper' and happy. be outgoing. be fun. be interesting. it sounds hard to some people but it really isn't. if you're sociable and let that fact be known than people will come to you. no need to curl up in a shell, it will just lead to unhappiness in the end.
...this is just my observation and experience of course, but if it sounds like its hitting close to home try doing some of the things i said.
