sportlinecrx
Banned
gawd im gettin to be a post whore lately
Workplace shinanigans
- Thread starter Canuck 93 Civic Si
- Start date
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gawd im gettin to be a post whore latelysportlinecrx
Banned
dam B...youve gone plaid!
when i worked at a country club a year ago, i was in charge of maintaining the golf carts. like i made sure they had gas, were clean etc etc...
me being the mechanic i am, i figured out how to override the governor on the intake system.
no lie, we clocked the fastest one at 36 mph. it was cart number 53. (like it matters)
we would fly down the paths and those fuckers would always backfire... people would be trying to tee-off and like a motorcycle gang of golf carts come flying down the paths...
luckily our boss was cool as shit and didnt care...
one day i was feeling a little froggy. and there was this really sharp turn right before the 7th green. i took that bitch at full throttle, rolled the cart twice, and landed upside down right smack in the middle of the green. friends say it was similar to the jackass movie when they had the golf carts. the green was all torn up and i ended up getting fired for it because one of the club board members saw it happen...
i broke my thumb in the process but it was definitely worth it. if i could do it all over again, i wouldn't of changed a thing.
edited for spelling/punctuation/grammar/ownage of pg. 2
me being the mechanic i am, i figured out how to override the governor on the intake system.
no lie, we clocked the fastest one at 36 mph. it was cart number 53. (like it matters)
we would fly down the paths and those fuckers would always backfire... people would be trying to tee-off and like a motorcycle gang of golf carts come flying down the paths...
luckily our boss was cool as shit and didnt care...
one day i was feeling a little froggy. and there was this really sharp turn right before the 7th green. i took that bitch at full throttle, rolled the cart twice, and landed upside down right smack in the middle of the green. friends say it was similar to the jackass movie when they had the golf carts. the green was all torn up and i ended up getting fired for it because one of the club board members saw it happen...
i broke my thumb in the process but it was definitely worth it. if i could do it all over again, i wouldn't of changed a thing.
edited for spelling/punctuation/grammar/ownage of pg. 2
i used to be a cart pusher at walmart. one day there were like 6 of us there and it was SLOW. some girl i knew stopped by and i left with her. came back about 6 hours later and clocked out.
i used to work in a factory that made bedspreads/comforters. in the batting room that had these big rolls of fiber stacked real high. we used to climb to the top of them and do backflips and moonsaults off of them.
i have too many to list...
i used to work in a factory that made bedspreads/comforters. in the batting room that had these big rolls of fiber stacked real high. we used to climb to the top of them and do backflips and moonsaults off of them.
i have too many to list...
cxjon
Senior Member
i used to work at a drug store and out of a 5 hour shift i slept for about 3 hours in the back room. at a gas station i worked at we looked at porn all day and gave every hot chick free car washes. i used to go on dates and play pool when i worked at the local news paper as an district sales manager. where i work now i used to take many hour breaks thru out the day and leave the phone off the hook so my manager wouldn't know i was gone
fork lift races are fun we got those at work (back shift only)
but the funniest thing i ever did was when i was 17 working at food lion
the pallet jacks were oiled real well and me and adam would jump on the forks and push em in the middle like a skateboard. adam thought it would be funny to drop a broomstick at the end of the aisle shorts seconds before i get there.well the aisle i was on happened to be the one with the double doors.i hit the broom stick at about jogging speed flew forward in the air only for the pallet jack handle to reach its lowering limit. i hit the handle hard enough to bounce further in the air and right smack into the double doors. adam's mom smacked him right in the back of the head the second i got up. she saw the whole thing.
i got joked on so hard for like a month.
but the funniest thing i ever did was when i was 17 working at food lion
the pallet jacks were oiled real well and me and adam would jump on the forks and push em in the middle like a skateboard. adam thought it would be funny to drop a broomstick at the end of the aisle shorts seconds before i get there.well the aisle i was on happened to be the one with the double doors.i hit the broom stick at about jogging speed flew forward in the air only for the pallet jack handle to reach its lowering limit. i hit the handle hard enough to bounce further in the air and right smack into the double doors. adam's mom smacked him right in the back of the head the second i got up. she saw the whole thing.
i got joked on so hard for like a month.
liquid00meth
Senior Member
I used to work at a car dealership which carried toyota. I used to uhhh... "test out" the merchandise whenever I got the chance. This included ebrake drifting a brand new celica GTS. muhahahaha
at my work, i work at a catering place that throws parties for companies and shit, and on days that we dont have parties, we are doing bullshit like cutting grass or something. so one day my buddy joel and this boy wade were in the work truck (a real piece of shit automatic 1985 ford f150) and they are backing up right next to the dumpster but joel wasnt paying attention and his door was wide open. the door slams into dumpster and bends completely forward. i was laughing so hard. it took them about 45 mins to fix it (slammed the door back in place) and the door has been fucked up ever since. that truck was great, the tranny was all messed up so we would throw it in park while it was going like 20 mph and listen to that bitch grind all the way until stop. we trew it in reverse one time while going about 15-20. the bitch stalled and the steering wheel locked, we thought we fucked it up for sure, but we jus stopped and started her back up. god i love my job.
Canuck 93 Civic Si
Senior Member
Originally posted by karnash+Jul 14 2003, 11:04 PM-->@Jul 14 2003, 10:51 PM
oh as far as shanigans go...anyone ever drag raced forklifts before?? that shit is fun as hell
back when i was 18 and working (manager of a company of 3 employees including myself) for a distributor manufacturer in a warehouse....the boss left town and i was in charge. the only other employees were two mexican ladies who spoke not a word of english...i speak almost fluent spanish, but pretended not to understand what they said to me.
anyways i got my boy Ray who was the biggest partier there ever was a job there. the first day the boss left, we went across the street and got 4 40's of Old English, climbed up on the rafters of the warehouse and got shitfaced....
we climbed down and the mexican ladies starting talkin shit to us....
so we proceeded to get on the forklifts, then we went on opposite sides of the warehouse and turned and faced each other....we were faded as FUCK...
so we raised the forks of the forklifts to their highest point, 15 feet into the air, then on the count of 3, we floored it gunning for each other....
i had the slow but hefty caterpillar that was 2x the size of the (nissan?) forklift my buddy was driving...
his forklift was smaller but faster..
so we gun it, top speed, forks raised to their highest point.
the object of the game was to fuck up the other person's forklift...
big ass chicken match, without the "chicken" part.
anyways so we are gunning it, and next thing you know our forks touch and we just collide with each other at about 15 miles an hour
BOOM we both got sent back about 10 feet, and went at it again....
finally i was able to muscle out his forklift with the heavy ass weigh of mine.
then after the mexican ladies were screaming at the top of their lungs we retired to the back yard to smoke a nice fat joint.
How can you call me a fucktard and then post this shit huh?
Originally posted by Canuck 93 Civic Si+Jul 15 2003, 05:11 PM-->@Jul 14 2003, 10:51 PM
oh as far as shanigans go...anyone ever drag raced forklifts before?? that shit is fun as hell
back when i was 18 and working (manager of a company of 3 employees including myself) for a distributor manufacturer in a warehouse....the boss left town and i was in charge. the only other employees were two mexican ladies who spoke not a word of english...i speak almost fluent spanish, but pretended not to understand what they said to me.
anyways i got my boy Ray who was the biggest partier there ever was a job there. the first day the boss left, we went across the street and got 4 40's of Old English, climbed up on the rafters of the warehouse and got shitfaced....
we climbed down and the mexican ladies starting talkin shit to us....
so we proceeded to get on the forklifts, then we went on opposite sides of the warehouse and turned and faced each other....we were faded as FUCK...
so we raised the forks of the forklifts to their highest point, 15 feet into the air, then on the count of 3, we floored it gunning for each other....
i had the slow but hefty caterpillar that was 2x the size of the (nissan?) forklift my buddy was driving...
his forklift was smaller but faster..
so we gun it, top speed, forks raised to their highest point.
the object of the game was to fuck up the other person's forklift...
big ass chicken match, without the "chicken" part.
anyways so we are gunning it, and next thing you know our forks touch and we just collide with each other at about 15 miles an hour
BOOM we both got sent back about 10 feet, and went at it again....
finally i was able to muscle out his forklift with the heavy ass weigh of mine.
then after the mexican ladies were screaming at the top of their lungs we retired to the back yard to smoke a nice fat joint.
How can you call me a fucktard and then post this shit huh?
very simple....we WERENT fucking with CUSTOMERS merchandise.
the forklifts were repaired on site by myself so even if we did fuck one up, id repair it...
YOU are a fucktard due to the fact that you are fucking with a customer's car.
THEN to top it off, you are cussing and yelling in front of women and children....
get some fucking class. i know canada is way up north, and the lack of oxygen must be killing off your common sense, but still...
not only are you fucking up a customer's car, now you are making an ass out of yourself in front of the bosses's potential customers.
i would fired your motherfucking ass on the spot, AFTER i chewed you out for about half an hour straight.
i was able to fuck around due to the fact that we were a CLOSED to the public shop, and i was the MANAGER.
you just dont get it do you? is this how ALL fucking canadians act? irresponsible and plain not giving a fuck about your fellow man?
you motherfuckers have no class whatsoever
:woo:Canuck 93 Civic Si
Senior Member
You were jousting on forklifts, people get KILLED from fucking around with forklifts. Were you going to fix that also? Also, my story was a little exaggerated for interests sake, there were very few people in the store, it was just before closing, and there is no shortage of swearing in the garage at anytime during the day anyway. I realise it was a dumb thing to do, hence the topic description, then i thaught hey, if i heard it from someone else it would be pretty funny. Thats why i started the topic. Im not saying it was perfectly okay for me to do what i did and if anything would have happened i would take full responsibility and fix the problem. As far as justifying my actions to you, i think im done.
notice how im not blasting the shit out of your story because, as it was foolish, it was also pretty funny and im sure you realize it could have turned out very badly as well. Hindsight is always clearer then foresight.
btw: lattitude does not vary proportionally to altitude. I know you were trying to make a cleaver insult but for your own sake, try and make sense next time so you wont look like a moron.
notice how im not blasting the shit out of your story because, as it was foolish, it was also pretty funny and im sure you realize it could have turned out very badly as well. Hindsight is always clearer then foresight.
btw: lattitude does not vary proportionally to altitude. I know you were trying to make a cleaver insult but for your own sake, try and make sense next time so you wont look like a moron.
sportlinecrx
Banned
karnash...how can u tell someone to have some class when you post about whether or not you should cheat on your g/f?
[sarcasm]my stories are wilder than any of those!!![/sarcasm]
when i worked at a sporting goods store in HS i hit a customer (40 year old women) in the head w/ a vortex football by accident. my wide receiver had butterfingers. luckily she laughed and i apologized (a gave her a nice discount on the shoes she bought for her kids). however, we did go back and watch it on the security cameras after work which was ridiculously funny.
i also worked at a photolab in my hometown for a summer. that was fun and i'll leave it at that.
when i worked at a sporting goods store in HS i hit a customer (40 year old women) in the head w/ a vortex football by accident. my wide receiver had butterfingers. luckily she laughed and i apologized (a gave her a nice discount on the shoes she bought for her kids). however, we did go back and watch it on the security cameras after work which was ridiculously funny.
i also worked at a photolab in my hometown for a summer. that was fun and i'll leave it at that.
That was "Marnash" not karnash.
anyway
I work at a hotel, and one day me and my friend taped a bunch of
Cardboard boxes together and duct taped sheets to the walls.
We taped ourselves breakdancing...On the clock.
We (same friend) jumped off the roof one day.
(2 story hotel)
We've hooked up both of our stereo systems on the clock.
Too many to mention.
anyway
I work at a hotel, and one day me and my friend taped a bunch of
Cardboard boxes together and duct taped sheets to the walls.
We taped ourselves breakdancing...On the clock.
We (same friend) jumped off the roof one day.
(2 story hotel)
We've hooked up both of our stereo systems on the clock.
Too many to mention.
sportlinecrx
Banned
eh, it was him (karnash)...there is no marnash. he kinda made that obvious.
Canuck 93 Civic Si
Senior Member
It was posted by karnash. k and m are pretty close on a keyboard so i see how it could easily be a typing kistake.
sportlinecrx
Banned
he started out sayin it was about his so-called friend "marnash"...but after a few posts he revealed it was really him...not a friend.
