OldSchoolSwap
Senior Member
I went to the store the other day, and I was in there for only about 5 minutes. When I came out there was a damn cop writing out a parking ticket.
So I went up to him and said, "Come on, buddy, how about giving a guy a break?" He ignored me and continued writing the
ticket.
So I called him a pencil-dicked nazi. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires! So I called him a piece of horse shit. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first.
Then he started writing a third ticket! This went on for about 20 minutes... the more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote.
I didn't give a shit. My car was parked around the corner.
I try to have a little fun each day. It's important!
-----------------------
Joke 2
-----------------------
There's nothing worse than a snotty doctor's receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong with you in a room full of other patients.
I know you all have experienced this, and here's the way one old guy handled it.
An 86 year old man walked into a crowded doctor's office.
As he approached the desk, the receptionist said, "Yes sir, what are you seeing the doctor for today?"
"There's something wrong with my penis," he replied.
The receptionist became irritated and said, "You shouldn't come into a crowded office and say things like that."
"Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you," he said.
The receptionist replied, "You've obviously caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something, and then discussed the problem further with the doctor in private."
The man walked out, waited several minutes and then re-entered. The receptionist smiled smugly and asked, "Yes?"
"There's something wrong with my ear," he stated.
The receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice. "And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?"
"I can't piss out of it," the man replied.
The doctor's office erupted in laughter
So I went up to him and said, "Come on, buddy, how about giving a guy a break?" He ignored me and continued writing the
ticket.
So I called him a pencil-dicked nazi. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires! So I called him a piece of horse shit. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first.
Then he started writing a third ticket! This went on for about 20 minutes... the more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote.
I didn't give a shit. My car was parked around the corner.
I try to have a little fun each day. It's important!
-----------------------
Joke 2
-----------------------
There's nothing worse than a snotty doctor's receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong with you in a room full of other patients.
I know you all have experienced this, and here's the way one old guy handled it.
An 86 year old man walked into a crowded doctor's office.
As he approached the desk, the receptionist said, "Yes sir, what are you seeing the doctor for today?"
"There's something wrong with my penis," he replied.
The receptionist became irritated and said, "You shouldn't come into a crowded office and say things like that."
"Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you," he said.
The receptionist replied, "You've obviously caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something, and then discussed the problem further with the doctor in private."
The man walked out, waited several minutes and then re-entered. The receptionist smiled smugly and asked, "Yes?"
"There's something wrong with my ear," he stated.
The receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice. "And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?"
"I can't piss out of it," the man replied.
The doctor's office erupted in laughter