Cashizslick
!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!
The reviews are hilarious
As a prison warden I have a very difficult job, a job that consists of being constantly hated, but I do try my best to make prison life more bearable for inmates, such as the weak ones who committed smaller crimes like drug use and DUI's, so you can Imagine my relief when I found this product. Prison life has never been more enjoyable! The smaller inmates are always cheerful and this product in no time pays for itself.
I'm a particle physics PhD working at CERN, on the Large Hadron Collider. We try to keep all 27 kilometers tunnels as slippery as possible at all times, on the theory that if the hadrons are already going close to lightspeed, maybe that will help push them over the edge. We make sure they're always going downhill, too, and we use fans to give them a boost. The fans dry out the lube some, which is why I can only give it 4 stars, but 27 kilometers is an awful lot of tunnel, and 55 gallons is an awful lot of lube.
A little over a decade ago, I bought my 55 gallon drum of lube. I never thought I'd use it all but a few days ago the pump finally ran dry. I've had a lot of good times with it. My wife, too. And not just what you'd think. One day I just hosed down our hardwood-floored hallway so I could use it as a slip-n-slide. You shouldn't think of this as a 'purchase.' It's an 'investment.' An investment sure to pay off in spades.
LMMFAO!!! 
