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For sh*ts and giggles

Discussion in 'Members' Lounge' started by civicgirlracer97, Aug 19, 2003.

  1. civicgirlracer97

    civicgirlracer97 Banned

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    This was sent to me in email and I thought it would be a good laugh for you guys. ;)


    Having A Bad Day

    There was a condition in one hospital's intensive care ward
    where patients always died in the same bed, on Sunday morning,
    at about 11 A.M., regardless of their medical condition.
    This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had
    something to do with the supernatural.
    No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths occurred
    around 11 A.M.on Sundays. So a worldwide team of experts
    was assembled to investigate the cause of the incidents.

    The next Sunday morning, a few minutes before 11 A.M.,
    all the doctors and nurses nervously waited outside the ward
    to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about.
    Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books and
    other holy objects to ward off the evil spirits.
    Just when the clock struck 11 A.M., Pookie Johnson, the part-time
    Sunday janitor, entered the ward and unplugged the life support
    system so that he could plug in the vacuum cleaner.

    Having a bad day? . . .

    The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez
    oil spill in Alaskawas $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the
    most expensively saved animals were being released back into
    the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers.
    A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate them both.

    Still think you are having a bad day??. . .

    A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking
    frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire
    running from his waist towards the electric kettle.
    Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current,
    she whacked him with a handy plank of wood, breaking
    his arm in two places.
    Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his Walkman.

    STILL think you're having a bad day???. . .

    Two animal rights protesters were protesting the cruelty of
    sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn, Germany.
    Suddenly, all two thousand pigs broke loose and escaped
    through a broken fence, stampeding madly.
    The two hopeless protesters were trampled to death.

    WHAT!! You're STILL having a bad day???? . . .

    Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage on a
    letter bomb. It came back with, "return to sender" stamped on it.
    Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits.

    There now, feeling better?
     
  2. khrisb

    khrisb ******

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    Nope, sorry! Still feel like shit! My girl still won't talk to me. And I still haven't seen her since Thursday.
    Funny read tho...
     
  3. Capt. Orygun

    Capt. Orygun Win the Day

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    think your having a bad day, imagine this...

    Your a siamese twin to your brother
    your staight
    he's ghey
    his boyfriend is comming over in an hour
    and you only have one ass....
     
  4. khrisb

    khrisb ******

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    That's hilarious!!!
    That is definately worse than my day!
     
  5. Prowler

    Prowler Super Moderator

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    lol, funniest stuff i've read in a long time. thanks :thumbsup:
     
  6. 4DRCAN2

    4DRCAN2 Junior Member

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    Nope still having a bad day, Some cock sucker is running his mouth to my girlfriend about some girl slept with last year. So now she is mad at me....
     
  7. Capt. Orygun

    Capt. Orygun Win the Day

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    ask her who she was sleeping with last year, and get mad at her for that. Once she says your being ridiculous she'll get the idea.
     
  8. 4DRCAN2

    4DRCAN2 Junior Member

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    She wasnt sleeping with anyone last year because i was her first ;)
     
  9. Dustin_m

    Dustin_m Active Member

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    Are you Sure? (cough) :bs: (cough)
     
  10. B16

    B16 Super Moderator VIP

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    sure, thats what they all say.
     
  11. BigJ

    BigJ I'm just about that action Boss. VIP

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  12. Hatchback 95 hybrid

    Hatchback 95 hybrid Senior Member

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    you think people have bad day i had my shit park in the corner my house during the black out, out here in jerzey cop hit me on speed run trying to catch some freaking retard , i wake up i am like wtf happent to my car i found the note on my driver mirror " hey sorry man i hit you my precint will take car of it " can you belive this shit :wtf:
     
  13. Cykotic

    Cykotic Member

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    Atleast none of you are sitting on a spare the size of a quarter Charlie.
     
  14. Slo86GT

    Slo86GT Super Moderator

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    My g/f was rolling a spare for over a 2 weeks til yesterday.;)
     
  15. 4DRCAN2

    4DRCAN2 Junior Member

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    Hey! you will be rolling on 17s tomorrow!!! thanks to me.
     
  16. JDMilan

    JDMilan Senior Member

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    that terrorist deserved that shit, fuckin idiot



    Milan
     
  17. Bob Vila

    Bob Vila ɐןıʌ qoq Admin VIP

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    haha

    pwn3d

    :bonk:
     
  18. civic_ricer

    civic_ricer Junior Member

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    lol... :lol: I haven't had anything bad happen to me in a while. Only thing lately is I started college on monday, so I'm damn tired in the morning!
     
  19. ryanwolfe911

    ryanwolfe911 Senior Member

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  20. ryanwolfe911

    ryanwolfe911 Senior Member

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    you think people have bad day i had my shit park in the corner my house during the black out, out here in jerzey cop hit me on speed run trying to catch some freaking retard , i wake up i am like wtf happent to my car i found the note on my driver mirror " hey sorry man i hit you my precint will take car of it " can you belive this shit
     
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