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Funny joke for the early morning

Discussion in 'Members' Lounge' started by CRX-YEM, Dec 12, 2004.

  1. CRX-YEM

    CRX-YEM Super Moderator Moderator VIP

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    A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, "I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir."

    The driver says, "Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating."

    The driver's wife is in the passenger seat kitting. Not looking up from her knitting she says: "Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control."

    As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, "Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?"

    She smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did."

    As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, "Darn it, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?"

    The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine."

    "Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket," the driver responds.

    His wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."

    And, as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??"

    The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?"

    (Wait for it ..... )






    "Only when he's been drinking, officer."
     
  2. jamesA

    jamesA Well known pissed off telephone guy VIP

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    bahahaha I saw that coming but it's still good.
     
  3. swanny

    swanny Senior Member

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    I would be getting another ticket for battery.
     
  4. Citizen_Insane

    Citizen_Insane Senior Member

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    ...or Double Homicide....
     
  5. jamesA

    jamesA Well known pissed off telephone guy VIP

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    so they only give tickets for a double homicide? shit... America really is going to hell in a handbasket isn't it?

    damn that bush!
     
  6. Dustin_m

    Dustin_m Active Member

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    Whatever, id be kickin someones ass
     
  7. hcivic.com

    hcivic.com Senior Member

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    dude it been 10 minutsn and im cracking up pouiyu
     
  8. spectacle

    spectacle Senior Member

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  9. Dustin_m

    Dustin_m Active Member

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  10. BodyDroppedNikes

    BodyDroppedNikes ...PENDEJO.... VIP

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    caught in a mosh...
  11. phunky.buddha

    phunky.buddha Admin with a big stick Admin VIP

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  12. JDMPlaya

    JDMPlaya Senior Member

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    I would seriously think that would take me to another level and smack a bitch
     
  13. BigJ

    BigJ I'm just about that action Boss. VIP

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    I've heard that one so many fricking times, but still funny nonetheless.
     
  14. dveit

    dveit Well-Known Member VIP

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    :withstupid: :fosho2:

    :lmao:
     
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