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Joke of the Day

Discussion in 'Members' Lounge' started by Speedracer228, Feb 23, 2005.

  1. Speedracer228

    Speedracer228 ......

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    Heres a funny one i just heard, dont think its a repost:

    A couple from Michigan, who were both in marketing,
    decided to go to Florida to thaw out during one
    particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at
    the very same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20
    years earlier.
    Because of their hectic travel and work schedules,
    it was difficult to coordinate their flight schedules.
    So, the husband left Detroit and flew to Miami on
    Thursday, with his wife flying down from Chicago
    the following day. The husband checked into the hotel. There
    was a
    computer in his room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his
    wife.
    However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address,
    and
    without realizing his error, he sent the e-mail.






    Meanwhile.....somewhere in Alabama, a widow had
    just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a
    minister of many years who was called home to glory
    following a sudden heart attack. The widow decided
    to check her e-mail, expecting messages from relatives
    and friends. After reading the first message, she
    fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his
    mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:




    From: Your Husband
    Sent: Tue, 3/1/2004 5:45 PM



    To: My Loving Wife
    Subject: I've Arrived
    I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have
    computers here now and you are allowed to send
    e-mails to your loved ones.
    I've just got all checked in and I see that
    everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
    Looking forward to seeing you then!
    Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

    P.S. Sure is hot down here!
     
  2. Liquidblaze

    Liquidblaze Senior Member

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    :lol:
     
  3. Speedracer228

    Speedracer228 ......

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    One more for good measure:

    One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind

    him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor."
    "Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies.
    "There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a
    urine
    sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do
    about
    it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars...a lot cheaper than
    a
    doctor."

    So Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the
    urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten
    seconds
    later,
    the computer ejects a printout: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your
    arm in
    warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks.
    Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart."

    That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe
    began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap
    water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and
    daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure. Joe hurries back to
    Wal-Mart, eager to
    check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his
    concoction, and
    awaits the results. The computer prints the following:

    1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9) 2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)
    3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
    4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
    5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never
    get better.
    Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart.
     
  4. BigJ

    BigJ I'm just about that action Boss. VIP

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    :lmao: Good finds!
     
  5. Dustin_m

    Dustin_m Active Member

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    i read that first one a while back, but its still funny as hell. and the second one is new to me, funny too
     
  6. Slammed90Lude

    Slammed90Lude Senior Member

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    that second one is hilarious
    :p
     
  7. reckedracing

    reckedracing TTIWWOP VIP

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    click me

    not for the faint of heart....
     
  8. Speedracer228

    Speedracer228 ......

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  9. reckedracing

    reckedracing TTIWWOP VIP

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    she also had 4 breastises...
    some strange shit on that site..



    :puke:
     
  10. preluderjs

    preluderjs Senior Member

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    How the fuck did this thread go in that direction?

    interesting stuff though.
     
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