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Joke of the day?

Discussion in 'Members' Lounge' started by spectacle, May 9, 2005.

  1. spectacle

    spectacle Senior Member

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    So the daughter walks in the room and asks her dad to borrow the car.

    "Well you know what you gotta do."

    So she get's down on her knees and starts sucking her father's dick.

    "Dad why does your dick taste like shit?"

    "Is today Tuesday? That's right... your brother has the car tonight!"


    :lmao:
     
  2. reckedracing

    reckedracing TTIWWOP VIP

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    :blink:
     
  3. pissedoffsol

    pissedoffsol RETIRED

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    thats disgusting.

    not even remotely funny.

    :puke:
     
  4. spectacle

    spectacle Senior Member

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  5. dohcvtec_accord

    dohcvtec_accord WRX Sellout

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    Don't worry man, I love jokes like that. One of my faves:

    Q: What sound does a baby make when you put it in a blender?
    A: I dunno, I was too busy masturbating.
     
  6. Battle Pope

    Battle Pope New Member

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    lmao

    dead baby jokes!!

    Q: What's worse than 5 dead babies in a garbage can?
    A: One dead baby in 5 garbage cans.

    Q: What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and Bentley?
    A: I don't have a Bentley in my garage.
     
  7. Drake

    Drake Well-Known Member VIP

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    Wow that first one is pretty damn gross.... haha Here is another baby joke for you.

    Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

    A: Depends on how hard you throw them.
     
  8. StarBellieAngel

    StarBellieAngel Senior Member

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    speaking of babies, this is one my son made up:

    How do you make varnish disappear?





    remove the 'r'
     
  9. Battle Pope

    Battle Pope New Member

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    clever kid there, misti
     
  10. totalburnout

    totalburnout Well-Known Member VIP

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    Q-What do you get when you slice a dead baby open with a scalpel?
    A-An erection.


    Q-Whats black and blue and goes "thump thump thump"
    A-A dead baby in the dryer


    Q-How do you make a dead baby float?
    A-Two scoops ice cream, one scoop dead baby.


    Q-Whats the only kind of file that will make a 8mm hole a 20mm hole?
    A-A pedophile


    Q-Whats the first thing a woman who just came home from the Betty Ford Center do?
    A-The dishes...if she knows whats good for her.

    Q-What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
    A-Nothing, you already told her twice.
     
  11. civicious

    civicious FüK-VTEC VIP

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    What's the difference between a dead baby and a watermellon?

    A watermellon floats.



    How do you keep a dead baby from falling into the sewer?

    Stick a javelin through its head.
     
  12. reckedracing

    reckedracing TTIWWOP VIP

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    After a long night of making love, he notices a photo of another man on her night stand by the bed. He begins to worry. "Is this your husband?" he nervously asks. "No, silly," she replies, snuggling up to him. "Your boyfriend, then?" he continues. "No, not at all," she says, nibbling away at his ear. "Is it your dad or your brother?" he inquires, hoping to be reassured. "No, no, no!!!" she answers. "Well, who in the hell is he, then?" he demands. "That`s me before the surgery."
     
  13. 92civicb18b1

    92civicb18b1 The Trisexual

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    :shudder:
     
  14. corvetteguy

    corvetteguy Senior Member

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    One day, a man went to the Dr and found out.he could never get an erection, it was a medical certainty....So He meets the girl of his dreams and then end up getting married, but never tells his wife he cannot get it up...After 15 years of making love with the lights off, the wife one day turns on the lights unexpectedly and sees her husband using a dildo on her..and exlaimed, "How can you explain this!!!"....He said "I will explain this if you can explain our 2 kids"
     
  15. pissedoffsol

    pissedoffsol RETIRED

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    lol.. thats a good one
     
  16. dohcvtec_accord

    dohcvtec_accord WRX Sellout

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    Q: What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies?

    A: You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.
     
  17. Speedracer228

    Speedracer228 ......

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    One day when the teacher walked to the black board, she noticed someone handwritten the word penis in tiny small letters. She turned around, scanned the class looking for the guilty face. Finding none, she quickly erased it, and began her class. The next day she went into the room, and she saw, in larger letters, the word penis again on the black board.

    Again, she looked around in vain for the culprit, but found none, so she proceeded with the days lesson.

    Every morning, for about a week, she went into the classroom and found the same word written on the board, each days word, larger than the previous days word.

    Finally, one day, she walked in, expecting to be greeted by the same word on the board, but instead, found the words,

    The more you rub it, the bigger it gets
     
  18. dohcvtec_accord

    dohcvtec_accord WRX Sellout

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    Q: What goes "tink tink thump", "tink tink thump" over and over?

    A: A baby in a clothes dryer with forks in its eyes.
     
  19. totalburnout

    totalburnout Well-Known Member VIP

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    lol :lol: :worthy:
     
  20. totalburnout

    totalburnout Well-Known Member VIP

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    The kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came for the little kids to give their reports, the teacher was calling on them one at a time. She was reluctant to call on little Johnny, knowing that he sometimes could be a bit crude. But, eventually, his turn came....

    Little Johnny walked up to the front of the class and, with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard, then sat back down.

    "Whats that?" the teacher asked.

    "It's a period," reported Johnny.

    "Well, I can see that," she said, "but what's so exciting about a period?"
    Little Johnny and his Math Homeword

    "Darned if I know", said Johnny, "but, this morning, my sister said she missed one. Dad had a heart attack, Mom fainted, and the man next door shot himself!"
     
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