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Joke of the nIght

Discussion in 'Members' Lounge' started by Speedracer228, Feb 3, 2005.

  1. Speedracer228

    Speedracer228 ......

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    funny joke i just heard:
    (me and thecaptian make it happen)

    A man takes the day off work and decides to go out golfing. He is on the second hole when he notices a frog sitting next to the green. He thinks nothing of it and is about to shoot when he hears, Ribbit 9 iron." The man looks around and doesn't see anyone. Again, he hears, Ribbit 9 Iron." He looks at the frog and decides to prove the frog wrong, puts the club away, and grabs a 9 iron. Boom! He hits it 10 inches from the cup. He is shocked. He says to the frog, "Wow that's amazing. You must be a lucky frog, eh? The frog replies, "Ribbit Lucky frog." The man decides to take the frog with him to the next hole. "What do you think frog?" the man asks. "Ribbit 3 wood." The guy takes out a 3 wood and, Boom! Hole in one. The man is befuddled and doesn't know what to say. By the end of the day, the man golfed the best game of golf in his life and asks the frog, "OK where to next?" The frog replies, "Ribbit Las Vegas." They go to Las Vegas and the guy says, "OK frog, now what?" The frog says, "Ribbit Roulette." Upon approaching the roulette table, The man asks, "What do you think I should bet?" The frog replies, "Ribbit $3000, black 6." Now, this is a million-to-one shot to win, but after the golf game the man figures what the heck. Boom! Tons of cash comes sliding back across the table. The man takes his winnings and buys the best room in the hotel. He sits the frog down and says, "Frog, I don't know how to repay you. You've won me all this money and I am forever grateful." The frog replies, "Ribbit Kiss Me." He figures why not, since after all the frog did for him, he deserves it. With a kiss, the frog turns into a gorgeous 15-year-old girl. "And that, your honor, is how the girl ended up in my room. So help me God or my name is not William Jefferson Clinton."
     
  2. Speedracer228

    Speedracer228 ......

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    i like clinton.

    but still a funny joke for whoever's name is put in at the bottom
     
  3. BigJ

    BigJ I'm just about that action Boss. VIP

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    :werd: A old classic, but still got a decent chuckle out of myself.
     
  4. dohch22a4

    dohch22a4 Senior Member

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    That reminds me of a very similar joke I really like:

    One day a man is tending to his daily grind at the office. While collating, he hears a little voice in the back of his mind that says, "Quit your job, sell your house and car, and fly to Vegas." He dismisses it and continues with his day.

    On the way home he hears the voice again. "Quit your job, sell your house and car, and fly to Vegas." Again, he shrugs it off and continues on his way.

    Later that night during dinner, he hears it again. This time a little louder. "Quit your job, sell your house and car, and fly to Vegas." He ignores it once again and hits the sheets for the night.

    The next day, he hears the voice at least six times. "Quit your job, sell your house and car, and fly to Vegas." He considers the possibility that he might be going crazy but tries his best to live life normally.

    The voice persists for a few more days. "Quit your job, sell your house and car, and fly to Vegas." By the fourth day, the man just can't take it any more. He snaps and sells his house, his car, call into work and tell his boss he must resign, and rides the bus to the airport. He buys a ticket to Vegas and arrives within a few hours with nothing but the clothes on his back and a suitcase full of cash.

    He hears the voice again, but this time it's different. It says, "Go the MGM Grand and take a seat at the roulette table."

    He takes a cab to the MGM Grand and find a roulette table with an open seat. The voice says, "Take all of your money and put it on 10, black."

    The man throws down his nest egg and tells the dealer he wants it all on 10 black. The wheels spins and the man waits anxiously for it to come to a stop.

    It lands on 21, red.

    The little voice says, "Fuck."
     
  5. reckedracing

    reckedracing TTIWWOP VIP

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    With a kiss, the frog turns into a molested 15-year-old boy. "And that, your honor, is how the boy ended up in my room. So help me God or my name is not Michael Fucking Jackson."
     
  6. Taco15

    Taco15 I wear stretchy pants VIP

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  7. Battle Pope

    Battle Pope New Member

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    I thought his middle name was Jermaine or something. Maybe I'm a retard. :shrug:
     
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