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MJ Jokes :D

Discussion in 'Members' Lounge' started by pissedoffsol, Nov 21, 2003.

  1. pissedoffsol

    pissedoffsol RETIRED

    Likes Received:
    Sep 28, 2002
    Retirement Home
    add yours :)

    Why did Michael Jackson call Boyz 2 Men?

    He thought it was a Delivery Service.

    What's the difference between Michael and a grocery bag?

    One is white and dangerous for kids to play with, the other is a grocery bag.
  2. smooth_criminal

    smooth_criminal Senior Member

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    Dec 18, 2002
    What the differance between michael jackson and acne??

    Acne waits until you hit puberty before it comes on your face.

    How do you know when it's bed time in never land ranch?

    When the big hand touches the little hand.
  3. xj0hnx

    xj0hnx I wanna be sedated VIP

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    Nov 10, 2002
    That's just dirty.
  4. cxjon

    cxjon Senior Member

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    Sep 28, 2002
  5. Tonyd0821

    Tonyd0821 Banned

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    Feb 26, 2003
    what do micheal jackson and mcdonalds have in common?

    they both stick their meat in 13 year old buns :lol:
  6. Capt. Orygun

    Capt. Orygun Win the Day

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    Nov 11, 2002
    Jackson recently told MTV he was putting together another variant of the Jackson 5

    The Jackson 5 and under
  7. hybrid89

    hybrid89 thistownsucks...

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    Jan 8, 2003
    What do Michael Jackson and K-mart have in common?

    They both little boys pants HALF OFF!
  8. hybrid89

    hybrid89 thistownsucks...

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    Jan 8, 2003
    They both HAVE little boys pants HALF OFF..nice typo
  9. driver1

    driver1 Senior Member

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    Jan 15, 2003
    where did Micheal Jackson go to college?

    Bringham Young university
  10. punkyjewster41

    punkyjewster41 Senior Member

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    Sep 11, 2003
    What did the lady say to MJ at the beach?

    Get out of my son!
  11. Loco Honkey

    Loco Honkey Banned

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    Jun 5, 2003
    Q. Why did Michael Jackson dangle his baby over a balcony?
    A. Because he overheard his wife asking someone to drop the children off
    a few stories.

    Q. How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?
    A. From a catalogue.

    Q: Have you heard about Michael Jackson's New Book?
    A: It's called "The In's and Out's of Child Rearing".

    Q. How do you know Michael Jackson is having a party?
    A. There are a bunch of tricycles in front of his house.

    Q: What do Michael Jackson and the Detroit Tigers have in common?
    A: They both wear one glove for no apparent reason.

    Q: Why was Michael Jackson spotted at K-Mart?
    A: He heard boys' pants were half-off!

    Q. What's the difference between Mr. Potato Head and Michael Jackson? A.
    Michael Jackson has had more noses.

    Q. When is it bed time at Michael Jackson's house?
    A. When the big hand is on the little hand!

    Q. What do Michael Jackson and a jockey have in common?
    A. They both ride three year olds.

    Q. What's the worst stain to try and remove from a little boy's
    underpants? A. Michael Jackson's makeup.

    Q. Why does Michael Jackson disappear for a couple hours after one of
    his little friends leaves? A. It takes that long to get the bubble gum
    off his dick.

    Q. What did the lady at the beach say to Michael Jackson?
    A. I believe you're in my son.

    Q. What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
    A. One is plastic and harmful to children, the other is used to carry

    Q. What does Michael Jackson consider a perfect 10?
    A. Two 5 year olds.

    Q. Why did Michael Jackson decide to have a boy of his own?
    A. Because it's too expensive to rent them at $2 million a pop!

    Q: What's icky and in a baby's diaper?
    A: Michael Jackson's hand!

    Q: What's white and in Michael Jackson's pocket?
    A: His other hand!

    Q: What do you do if Michael Jackson is drowning?
    A: Throw him a buoy!

    Q: What do Michael Jackson and a Big Mac have in common?
    A: They're both 44 year old meat between 10 year old buns!

    Q: How do you neuter Michael Jackson?
    A: Give him spiked gloves and tell him to sing a song!

    Q: What's black on the inside, white on the outside, and comes in little
    A: Michael Jackson!

    Q. What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Richard Pryor? A.
    One got burnt doing Pepsi, the other got burnt doing coke.

    Q: What was the foundation that Michael Jackson and Richard Pryor
    A: The Ignited Negro College Fund!

    Q: Why did Pepsi fire Michael Jackson?
    A: Because he was caught sucking on a Squirt!!

    Q. What does Michael Jackson reminisce about?
    A. Blowing his first nose.

    Q. Who is the greatest person ever?
    A. Michael Jackson - he was born a poor black boy in Gary, Indiana and
    grew up to become a rich white woman in Europe.

    Q. What did Elvis say after seeing Michael and Lisa Marie on television?
    A. "Boy, that's a relief. I though she married a black guy!"

    Q. What did Lisa-Marie Presley say to Michael Jackson when he proposed?
    A. "Yes, I'll marry you. But promise me one thing -- no kids!"

    Q. What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley?
    A. About two dress sizes.

    Q. What was Michael Jackson thinking on his wedding night?
    A. "Now Lisa-Marie can give me a little boy of my own."

    Q. What were Lisa-Marie's newlywed complaints about Michael Jackson?
    A1. He leaves the lid off the mascara, causing it to dry out.
    A2. That battleaxe Liz Taylor never calls before she comes over.
    A3. She suspects he's using her to get to Elvis' bones.
    A4. He touches her kids more than he touches her.

    Q. Why did Michael Jackson cross the road?
    A. He saw someone blowing bubbles and thought he'd join in.

    Q. Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz-2-Men?
    A. He thought it was a delivery service.

    Q: Why are Michael Jackson's pants so small?
    A: Because they aren't his!

    Q. How did Michael Jackson get in trouble?
    A. He was feeling a little Randy.

    Q. Why does Michael Jackson like children so much?
    A. He knows how they feel.

    Q. What did Michael Jackson say when he got back to Neverland Ranch from
    drug rehab? A. You know, I feel like a new boy!

    Q. How do we know Michael Jackson is guilty?
    A. Several children have fingered him.

    Q. Where does Michael Jackson go to find a date?
    A. Boys 'R Us.

    Q. Why is Michael Jackson so tough?
    A. He can lick any kid on the block.

    Knock Knock!
    Who's There?
    Little boy blue!
    Little boy blue who?
    Michael Jackson!

    Michael Jackson was on a ship with 100 cub scouts when it hit an iceberg
    and started to sink. The captain announced, "We're sinking! Everyone
    abandon ship!"
    Michael Jackson asked, "What about the children?"
    The captain replied, "Screw the children!"
    Michael Jackson looked around eagerly and said, "Do we have time?"

    A little boy goes up to his mother and asks, "Is God a male or a
    female?" After thinking for a moment, his mother responds, "Well, God is
    both a male and a female." This confuses the little boy, so he asks, "Is
    God black or white?" "Well, God is both black and white." At this, the
    boy's face lights up with understanding and he triumphantly asks, "Is
    Michael Jackson God?"

    Michael Jackson asked his wife's doctor how soon after the birth could
    he have sex. The doctor told him he should wait until the kid is at
    least 12 or 13 years old.

    The Pope has issued a proclamation on Michael Jackson. If he hears any
    more allegations about little boys, the Pope says he'll have no choice
    but to make him a priest.

    Did you know they're putting out a Michael Jackson stamp? People get to
    vote for the white or black Michael Jackson.
  12. ryanwolfe911

    ryanwolfe911 Senior Member

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    Jan 21, 2003
    LMGDMFAO!!!!!! jesus christ loco, I had to print that one out
  13. Airjockie

    Airjockie Watanabe Whore!!!

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    Jan 21, 2003
    Meriden, CT, USA
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