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NO SEX TONIGHT!

Discussion in 'Members' Lounge' started by Dustin_m, Mar 11, 2005.

  1. Dustin_m

    Dustin_m Active Member

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    I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so
    much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have
    never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

    FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into
    bed.

    Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel
    like it, I just want you to hold me."

    I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

    So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
    "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me
    to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look
    by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in
    the bedroom?"

    Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

    The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
    her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
    unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
    several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to
    take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
    compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We
    went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond
    earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was
    one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because
    she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play
    tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."
    She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
    Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
    dear, let's go to the cashier."

    I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel
    like it."

    Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
    WHAT?"

    I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're
    just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy
    your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she
    was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and
    not for the things I buy you?"

    Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.




    :lol: :lol: got it from entensity, pretty funny shit
     
  2. reckedracing

    reckedracing TTIWWOP VIP

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  3. b204dr

    b204dr Senior Member

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    I get the run around a lot - my girl tells me she dosnt feel sexually motivated till a week (appx) before her period! so one week of the month we have fun the others are all just damn dick teasing hell!
     
  4. dohcvtec_accord

    dohcvtec_accord WRX Sellout

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    Stick it to her while she's sleeping.
     
  5. reckedracing

    reckedracing TTIWWOP VIP

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    lol, god damn breeder instincts...

    feed her drinks y0 :)
    jesus juice rules...
    lmao...
     
  6. TurboMirage

    TurboMirage YEEAAAHHH VIP

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    i get laid just about every night... :)
     
  7. b204dr

    b204dr Senior Member

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    breeder instincts-- we use the glove to make love no breeding needed right now
     
  8. mdlax1

    mdlax1 Senior Member

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    On the Proverbial picked fence of Insanity....
    im printing this out
     
  9. Dustin_m

    Dustin_m Active Member

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    I was gone during that time, so sorry, my bad.
     
  10. Sabz5150

    Sabz5150 FALCON PUNCH!!!

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    My girl is revved up for sex almost every time I am, dunno what yall are doing wrong.
     
  11. xj0hnx

    xj0hnx I wanna be sedated VIP

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    Are you of the alternative lifestyle? Just asking because my old roomate was as gay is the day is long, and that was the last time I heard "breeder".
     
  12. formby

    formby learning in progress

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    me too....i know when she doesnt want to because she doesnt get into it too much..(who cares) all i want is some sweet poontang!!!!!


    if she doesnt want to give it to you....do what i do.....dont sleep with her when she wants you to......she'll probably end up thinking you're cheating. and she'll be more attentive to your needs.. B)
     
  13. reckedracing

    reckedracing TTIWWOP VIP

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    lol, i was j/k dude...
    well, it is a repost, but i wasn't being harsh about it or anything...
    still got a chuckle out of me...


    lol
    i was sleep fucking... (instead of sleep walking)


    not about actually making babies...
    this is common in females, when they are ovulating or whatever their body tells them they want sex... similar to how female cats with whine and moan and shit when they are in "heat"... your woman is in heat...


    :werd: its weird how women work...


    lol, no i'm not gay, but i'm forced to listen to gay NPR all day...
     
  14. xj0hnx

    xj0hnx I wanna be sedated VIP

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    Ahh ok, it was just funnny because I hadn't heard that term in a few years.
     
  15. reckedracing

    reckedracing TTIWWOP VIP

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    werd, i think i also heard it on will and grace?

    my boss is gay so i'm around the "lifestlye" all the time...
    i guess its considered an insult?
    lol
    like, well at least i'm not a breeder... :blink:
     
  16. xj0hnx

    xj0hnx I wanna be sedated VIP

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    Not really an insult, just an expression.
     
  17. SlushboxTeggy

    SlushboxTeggy It's only stupid if it doesn't work VIP

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    i was just about to give that advice. sad but true. even works well with a girl you havent been dating that long.
     
  18. Lshatch916

    Lshatch916 Senior Member

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    dood...my gurl always want the penis... even when we are broken up...she still wants the penis...there is something wrong with ya'llz gurls. every gurl i have been with either wants it more than i or just as much as i so i dunno
     
  19. StealthMode

    StealthMode Kung Foolin'

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    word. my girlfriend most of the time initiates our sex. i always call her a horny bastard. but why the hell would i complain??
     
  20. 92civicb18b1

    92civicb18b1 The Trisexual

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    lol, i still have girls stuck on me too. There's this one girl I've known for 5 years. She doesn't understand that I'm not going to have sex with her...5 years she's been trying to get me to have sex with her, back in the day I was going to but EVERY FUCKING TIME something interupted it. Like garbage men or some fat kid wanting pizza, or this little dueshbag that we were supposed to be babysitting...or the other two of them. Someone falling through the door because the door couldn't hold up to the multiple people falling into it after a keg stand.

    I'm not joking either, it's true. We went like 20 miles into the middle of fucking no where and we're in the car in the beginning stages of......, all of a sudden these motherfuckers in there goddamn SUVs roll up and hop out in there fucking hunting uniforms.

    Uhhmm, last week was kinda interesting, neither of them were my girlfriend but let's just say that was an interesting night.
     
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