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Please read...very important!!!!!!!!

Discussion in 'Members' Lounge' started by adnoh, Aug 24, 2004.

  1. adnoh

    adnoh Senior Member

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    To All,

    Since September 11, 2001, Americans and Canadians have come together
    as never before in our generation. We have banded together to
    overcome tremendous adversity. We have weathered direct attacks on
    our own soil, wars overseas, corporate/government scandal, layoffs,
    unemployment, stock price plunges, droughts, fires, mad cow, SARS,
    high gasoline prices, and a myriad of economic and physical
    disasters both great and small. But now, we must come together once
    again to overcome possibly our greatest challenge yet. Hundreds of
    Professional Hockey players in our very own nations are going to be
    locked out, living at well below the seven-figure salary level. And
    as if that weren't bad enough they could be deprived of their life-
    giving pay for several months, possibly longer, as a result of the
    coming lockout situation.

    But you can help!

    For only $20,835 a month, about $694.50 a day (that's less than the
    cost of a large screen projection TV) you can help an NHL player
    remain economically viable during his time of need. This
    contribution by no means solves the problem as it barely covers the
    annual minimum salary, but it's a start, and every little bit will
    help! Although $700 may not seem like a lot of money to you, to a
    hockey player it could mean the difference between spending the
    lockout golfing in Florida or on a Mediterranean cruise. For you,
    seven hundred dollars is nothing more than a month's rent, half a
    mortgage payment, or a month of medical insurance, but to a hockey
    player, $700 will partially replace his daily salary. Your
    commitment of less than $700 a day will enable a player to buy that
    home entertainment center, trade in the year-old Lexus for a new
    Ferrari, or enjoy a weekend in Rio.

    HOW WILL I KNOW THAT I'M HELPING?

    Each month, you will receive a complete financial report on the
    player you sponsor. Detailed information about his stocks, bonds, 401
    (k), real estate, and other investment holdings will be mailed to
    your home. Plus, upon signing up for this program, you will receive
    an unsigned photo of the player lounging during the lockout on a
    beach somewhere in the Caribbean (for a signed photo, please include
    an additional $150). Put the photo on your refrigerator to remind
    you of other peoples' suffering. Your NHL player will be told that
    he has a SPECIAL FRIEND who just wants to help in a time of need.
    Although the player won't know your name, he will be able to make
    collect calls to your home via a special operator in case additional
    funds are needed for unforeseen expenses.

    YES, I WANT TO HELP!

    I would like to sponsor a locked out NHL player. My preference is
    (check below):

    [ ] Forward

    [ ] Defenseman

    [ ] Goaltender

    [ ] Entire team (Please call our 900 number to ask for the cost of a
    specific team - $10 per minute)

    [ ] Jaromir Jagr (Higher cost: $32,000 per day)

    Please charge the account listed below $694.50 per day for the
    duration of the lockout. Please send me a picture of the player I
    have sponsored, along with an Jaromir Jagr 2001 Income Statement and
    my very own Bob Goodenow (Executive Director of the NHLPA player's
    Union) pin to wear proudly on my hat (include $80 for hat).

    Your Name: _______________________

    Telephone Number: _______________________

    Account Number: _______________________ Exp.Date:_______

    [ ] MasterCard [ ] Visa [ ] American Express [ ] Other

    Signature: _________________________________

    Alternate card (when the primary card exceeds its credit limit):

    Account Number: _______________________ Exp.Date:_______

    [ ] MasterCard [ ] Visa [ ] American Express [ ] Other

    Signature: _________________________________
     
  2. Battle Pope

    Battle Pope New Member

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    I hate hockey.
     
  3. TurboMirage

    TurboMirage YEEAAAHHH VIP

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    support your own damn washed out players.
     
  4. pissedoffsol

    pissedoffsol RETIRED

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  5. BodyDroppedNikes

    BodyDroppedNikes ...PENDEJO.... VIP

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    caught in a mosh...
    i agree with the 3 guys above me.
     
  6. adnoh

    adnoh Senior Member

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    :huh: I hope you guy's aren't taking this seriously....!?

    It's not real. it's a joke. appearently not a good one.

    I thought it was hilarious.

    Nevermind.
     
  7. Battle Pope

    Battle Pope New Member

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    Not taking it seriously, I just hate hockey. :shrug:
     
  8. TDaddy

    TDaddy Senior Member

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    um...ha ha....there courtesy laugh. :shrug2:
     
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