WORK WARNING ON THE LINK! http://backup-source.com/archives/womens-rights/ All women possess some intelligent DNA at some point in their lives, however 95% of them spit it out. Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She's a woman. Q: Why did the blonde chick do the Spanish guy?? A: Because her teacher told her to do an essay. Q: Why your not suppose to eat pussy first thing in the morning. A: Have you ever tried to pull apart a grill cheese sandwich. Q: Why do women wear makeup and perfume? A: Because they're ugly and they stink. Everything about you is perfect. Your lips, your skin, your eyes, your body. Perfect! Your lucky to be born beautiful, unlike me, who was born to be a big liar. What's the difference between a job and a wife? After five years, the job still sucks. How many radical feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three: One to change it, One to support her by holding the ladder, One to write an indignant essay condemning the use of the word "screw". Q. What doesn't belong in this list? Meat, Eggs, Wife, Blowjob? A. Blowjob: You can beat your meat, eggs or wife, but you can't beat a blowjob Q. What's the difference between your paycheck and your cock? A. You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck! Q. What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann and the Pillsbury Dough Boy? A. A red headed bitch with a yeast infection. Q. How can you tell when an auto mechanic just had sex? A. One of his fingers is clean. Ever wondered what it would be like if Dear Abby were a man? Dear Mr. Abby: Q: My husband wants a threesome with my best friend and me. A: Obviously, your husband cannot get enough of you! Knowing that there is only one of you he can only settle for the next best thing - your best friend. Far from being an issue, this can bring you closer together. Why not get some of your old collage roommates involved too? If you are still apprehensive, maybe you should let him be with your friends without you. If you're still not sure then just perform oral on him and cook him a nice meal while you think about it. Dear Mr. Abby: Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex on him. A: Do it. Sperm can help you lose weight and gives a great glow to your skin. Interestingly, men know this. His offer to allow you to perform oral ex on him is totally selfless. This shows he loves you. The best thing to do is to thank him by performing it twice a day, then cook him a nice meal. Dear Mr. Abby: Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys. A: This is perfectly natural behavior and it should be encouraged. The man is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men. A night out chasing young single girls is a great stress relief and can foster a more peaceful and relaxing home. Remember, nothing can rekindle your relationship better than the man being away for a day or two (it's a great time to clean the house too)! Just look at how emotional and happy he is when he returns to his stable home. The best thing to do when he gets home is for you and your best friend to perform oral on him. Then cook him a nice meal. Dear Mr. Abby: Q: My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is. A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess with it, do it in your own time or ask your best friend to help. You may wish to videotape yourself while doing this, and present it to your husband as a birthday gift. To ease your selfish guilt, perform oral on him and cook him a delicious meal. Dear Mr. Abby: Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay. A: You are a bad person for bringing it up and should seek sensitivity training. Foreplay to a man is very stressful and time consuming. Sex should be available to your husband on demand with no pesky requests for foreplay. What this means is that you do not love your man as much as you should â€“ he should never have to work to get you in the mood. Stop being so selfish! Perhaps you can make it up to him by performing oral on him and cook him a nice meal. Dear Mr. Abby: Q: My husband always has an orgasm then, rolls over and goes to sleep never giving me one. A: I'm not sure I understand the problem. Perhaps you've forgotten to cook him a nice meal. A man and a woman are driving along when they see a wounded skunk on the side of the road. They stop, the woman gets out, picks it up, and brings it into the car. She says, "Look, its shivering, it must be cold. What should I do?" He says, "Put it between your legs." She says, "What about the smell?" He says, "Hold its nose." Q: What do you do if the washing machine breaks down? A: Slap the bitch. Q: What do you say to a woman with a black eye? A: Nothing, she's already been told once. Q:Five tampons are walking down the street, you wave.Which one waves back? A:None of them they are all stuck up cunts. First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."