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Todays Lame Jokes

Discussion in 'Members' Lounge' started by reckedracing, Sep 3, 2009.

  1. reckedracing

    reckedracing TTIWWOP VIP

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    A man was in a long line at Walmart. As he got to the register he realized he had forgotten to get condoms, so he asked the checkout girl if she could have some brought up to the register. She asked, 'What size condoms?' The customer replied that he didn't know. She asked him to drop his pants. He did. She
    reached over the counter, grabbed hold of him and called
    over the intercom, 'One box of large condoms, Register 5.'

    The next man in line thought this was interesting, and like most of us, was up for a cheap thrill. When he got up to the register, he told the checker that he too had
    forgotten to get condoms, and asked if she could have some brought to the register for him. She asked him what size, and he stated that he didn't know. She asked him to drop his pants. He did. She gave him a quick feel, picked up the intercom and said, 'One box of medium-sized condoms, Register 5.'

    A few customers back was this teenage boy. He thought what he had seen was way too cool. He had never had any type of sexual contact with a live female, so he thought this was his chance. When he got to t he register he told the checker he needed some condoms. She asked him what size and he said he didn't know.? She asked him to drop his pants and he did. She reached over the counter, gave him a quick squeeze, then picked up the intercom and said...

    Cleanup, Register 5'
    _______________________________________

    An old cowboy sat down at the Starbucks and ordered acup of coffee.
    As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him..

    She turned to the cowboy and asked, 'Are you a real cowboy?'

    He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole life breaking colts, working cows, going to rodeos, fixing fences, pulling calves, bailing hay, doctoring calves, cleaning my barn, fixing flats, working on tractors, and feeding my dogs, so I guess I am a cowboy.'

    She said, 'I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about naked women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about naked women. When I shower, I thinkabout naked women. When I watch TV, I think about naked women. It seems everything makes me think of naked women.'

    The two sat sipping in silence.

    A little while later, a man sat down on the other side of the old cowboy and asked, 'Are you a real cowboy?'

    He replied, 'I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian.'
     
    1 person likes this.
  2. E_SolSi

    E_SolSi Member of the 20 nut club Moderator VIP

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    hehe :)
     
  3. tabKola

    tabKola New Member

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    Gave me a nice chuckle.
     
  4. cjvictoria

    cjvictoria New Member

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    first one was fucking great man. second one was too.
     
  5. DarkHand

    DarkHand Senior Member VIP

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    I'll add one:

    So a baby seal walks into a club.
     
  6. cjvictoria

    cjvictoria New Member

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    lol nice ;)
     
  7. 92stoccord

    92stoccord Big Member VIP

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    A friend told me this one:


    A man walks into a bar. His raging alcoholism is destroying his family.
     
  8. Magana559

    Magana559 The Warden

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    :lmao:
     
  9. raikjdm

    raikjdm New Member

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    :confused:
     
  10. double0Si

    double0Si ლ(ಠ益ಠლ) VIP

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    ^You sir, are retarded.
    LMAO. Get your friend on here so I can rep him. :D
     
  11. totalburnout

    totalburnout Well-Known Member VIP

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    So a baby seal swims* into a club.
     
  12. Drake

    Drake Well-Known Member VIP

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    There are some damn good ones in this thread haha.
     
  13. double0Si

    double0Si ლ(ಠ益ಠლ) VIP

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    If were takin lame jokes how about: Two guys walk into a bar, the third guy ducks.
     
  14. raikjdm

    raikjdm New Member

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    Thanks?
     
  15. double0Si

    double0Si ლ(ಠ益ಠლ) VIP

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    Don't thank me, thank genetics.
     
  16. invisibledemon

    invisibledemon Bored Moderator VIP

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    bah, double0si, i cant rep you for that one.
    lmao.
     
  17. double0Si

    double0Si ლ(ಠ益ಠლ) VIP

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