> > > >TRIPS TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM... > > > > > > > >FEMALE SOFA----- A 500 lb. woman from Illinois was examined in a > > >hospital. During the examination, an asthma inhaler fell from under >her > > >armpit, a dime was found under one of her breasts and a remote >control > > >was found lodged between the folds of her vulva. > > > > > > > >PRICKLY PAIR-----OUCH! In Michigan, a man came into the ER with > > >lacerations to his penis. He complained that his wife had "...a rat >in > > >her privates..." and it bit him during sex (not the first > > >conclusion >I > > >would have drawn I don't think). After an examination of his wife, > > >it > > > >was revealed that she had a surgical needle left inside her after a > > >recent hysterectomy. > > > > > > > >PING PONG ANYONE?----- A 20 year old man came into the ER with a >stony > > >mass in his rectum. He said that he and his boyfriend were fooling > > >around with concrete mix, then his boyfriend had the idea of > > >pouring >the > > >mix into his anus using a funnel (as you do)?!!. The concrete then > > >hardened (no s%^t!), causing constipation and pain. Under general > > >anesthesia, a perfect concrete cast of the man's rectum was removed > > >along with a ping pong ball. (Boy we live sheltered lives - thank > > >goodness). > > > > > > > >BLIND DRUNK----- A drunk staggered into a Pennsylvania ER >complaining > > >of severe pain while trying to remove his contact lenses. He said >that > > >they would come out halfway, but they always popped back in. A > > >nurse tried to help using a suction pump, but without success. > > >Finally, a doctor examined him and discovered the man did not have > > >his contact lenses in at all. He had been trying to rip out the > > >membrane of his cornea. > > > > > > > >OUCH AND DOUBLE OUCH!----- A couple hobbled into a Washington > > > >State > > > >emergency room covered in bloody restaurant towels. The man had his > > >hands around his abdomen and the woman had hers around her head. > > >They > > > >eventually explained to doctors that they had gone out that evening >for > > >a romantic dinner. Overcome with passion, the woman crept under the > > >table to administer oral sex to the man (classy or what??). While > > >in >the > > >act, she had an epileptic fit, which caused her to clamp down on > > >the man's penis and wrench it from side to side. In agony and >desperation, > > >the man grabbed a fork and stabbed her in the head until she let > > >go. > > > > > > > >And you thought YOU were having a bad day!!!!