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trip to the emergency room

Discussion in 'Members' Lounge' started by pissedoffsol, Nov 18, 2003.

  1. pissedoffsol

    pissedoffsol RETIRED

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    > > > >TRIPS TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM...
    > > > >
    > > > >FEMALE SOFA----- A 500 lb. woman from Illinois was examined in a
    > > >hospital. During the examination, an asthma inhaler fell from under
    >her
    > > >armpit, a dime was found under one of her breasts and a remote
    >control
    > > >was found lodged between the folds of her vulva.
    > > > >
    > > > >PRICKLY PAIR-----OUCH! In Michigan, a man came into the ER with
    > > >lacerations to his penis. He complained that his wife had "...a rat
    >in
    > > >her privates..." and it bit him during sex (not the first
    > > >conclusion
    >I
    > > >would have drawn I don't think). After an examination of his wife,
    > > >it
    >
    > > >was revealed that she had a surgical needle left inside her after a
    > > >recent hysterectomy.
    > > > >
    > > > >PING PONG ANYONE?----- A 20 year old man came into the ER with a
    >stony
    > > >mass in his rectum. He said that he and his boyfriend were fooling
    > > >around with concrete mix, then his boyfriend had the idea of
    > > >pouring
    >the
    > > >mix into his anus using a funnel (as you do)?!!. The concrete then
    > > >hardened (no s%^t!), causing constipation and pain. Under general
    > > >anesthesia, a perfect concrete cast of the man's rectum was removed
    > > >along with a ping pong ball. (Boy we live sheltered lives - thank
    > > >goodness).
    > > > >
    > > > >BLIND DRUNK----- A drunk staggered into a Pennsylvania ER
    >complaining
    > > >of severe pain while trying to remove his contact lenses. He said
    >that
    > > >they would come out halfway, but they always popped back in. A
    > > >nurse tried to help using a suction pump, but without success.
    > > >Finally, a doctor examined him and discovered the man did not have
    > > >his contact lenses in at all. He had been trying to rip out the
    > > >membrane of his cornea.
    > > > >
    > > > >OUCH AND DOUBLE OUCH!----- A couple hobbled into a Washington
    > > > >State
    >
    > > >emergency room covered in bloody restaurant towels. The man had his
    > > >hands around his abdomen and the woman had hers around her head.
    > > >They
    >
    > > >eventually explained to doctors that they had gone out that evening
    >for
    > > >a romantic dinner. Overcome with passion, the woman crept under the
    > > >table to administer oral sex to the man (classy or what??). While
    > > >in
    >the
    > > >act, she had an epileptic fit, which caused her to clamp down on
    > > >the man's penis and wrench it from side to side. In agony and
    >desperation,
    > > >the man grabbed a fork and stabbed her in the head until she let
    > > >go.
    > > > >
    > > > >And you thought YOU were having a bad day!!!!
     
  2. swanny

    swanny Senior Member

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    :D last one is the best
     
  3. MaliWho97

    MaliWho97 Senior Member

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    Hahahaha Thats some funny shit B!!!!!!
     
  4. JimJewy

    JimJewy Member

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    LMAO thank god i live nowhere near the water they all had to be drinking from.
     
  5. rudeludenotmeanthough

    rudeludenotmeanthough Senior Member

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  6. asmallsol

    asmallsol Super Moderator

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    oh, those last two were great. The one about the contacts was kinda wrong, but i kinda laughed.
     
  7. dohcvtec_accord

    dohcvtec_accord WRX Sellout

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    :werd: :withstupid:
     
  8. D See 2

    D See 2 Senior Member

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    what they said
     
  9. jamesA

    jamesA Well known pissed off telephone guy VIP

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    first one was sick...the last one was fuckin hilarious. :bo:
     
  10. Airjockie

    Airjockie Watanabe Whore!!!

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    :ph34r: :ph34r: :bash: :bo: :bo: :bo: :bo: :bo:
     
  11. civicious

    civicious FüK-VTEC VIP

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    BWAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!! when i read the last one i spit chewed-up-grilled-cheese-and-milk all over my room!


    rotflmao
     
  12. brc80

    brc80 Senior Member

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    last one is fucking great. :bo:
     
  13. ScrapinSi

    ScrapinSi Senior Member

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    BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBWWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBWWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBWWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBWWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBWWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBWWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBWWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBWWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBWWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBWWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    **DEEP BREATH**

    BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBWWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBWWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBWWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBWWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBWWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBWWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBWWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBWWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBWWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBWWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBWWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBWWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBWWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
     
  14. Slo86GT

    Slo86GT Super Moderator

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    I've had a contact fall out while fishing for it, not notice it, and actually GRAB and PULL on the membrane on my eye.

    THAT SHIT F'ING HURTS!

    I couldn't imagine doing it more than once!
     
  15. Smonkeyboy

    Smonkeyboy Senior Member

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    wow im not even sure what to say about that
     
  16. Cashizslick

    Cashizslick !i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!

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    THe one about the concrete i heard somewhere else, but the last one is the best (ammerican wedding??)
     
  17. jiahanhao

    jiahanhao Senior Member

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    There's a big book full of these... I saw it once... I'll try to dig up the title.
     
  18. BigJ

    BigJ I'm just about that action Boss. VIP

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    :lmao: That is some funny stuff.k


    For some reason Hondaswap is really hilarious today. :)
     
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