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Twas the night before xmas

Discussion in 'Members' Lounge' started by CRX-YEM, Dec 21, 2003.

  1. CRX-YEM

    CRX-YEM Super Moderator Moderator VIP

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    Twas the night before xmas
    and all through the house everyone
    felt shitty, even the mouse.

    Mom at the whorehouse and
    Dad smoking grass, and I just
    settled down for a nice piece of ass.

    When out on the lawn I heard
    such a clatter, I sprang from my piece
    to see what was the matter.

    Then out on the lawn I saw a
    big dick, I knew in a moment
    it must be St. Prick.

    He came down from the chimney like
    a bat out of hell, I knew in a
    moment the fucker had fell.

    He filled all the stockings with
    pretzels and beer, and a big rubber
    dick for my brother the queer.

    He rose up the chimney with a
    thunderous fart, the son of a bitch
    blew the chimney apart.

    He swore and he cursed as he rode
    out of sight, "Piss on you all and
    have one hell of a night!!!"

    Happy Christmas and have a merry New Year.

    --
    Slightly different Version


    'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house,
    everyone was getting laid, even the mouse.
    With Ma in her whore house and dad in jail,
    I had just settled down for a nice piece of tail...

    When out on the lawn, there rose such a clatter,
    I sprang from my sister-in-law to see what was the matter.
    I threw open the shudders and threw out the hash,
    tripped over my boner and busted my ass.

    And out on the lawn but what should appear
    but a rusty ol' sleigh, and 8 fucking reindeer.
    Out of the sleigh jumped a big, fat dick...
    and I knew in an instant it must be St. Prick.

    "To the top of the roofs, to the top of the walls,
    on you bastards before I cut off your balls!"
    He came down the chimney like a bat outta Hell,
    and I knew for a fact the poor fucker had fell.

    He filled the stockings with pretzels and beer,
    and a big rubber dick for my brother the queer.
    Then he rose up the chimney with a thunderous fart,
    that son of a bitch, he blew the damn thing apart!

    And he cursed and he swore as he rode out of sight,
    "Fuck you all, I've had one hell of a night!"

    ---
    about 140 different versions
    140 versions of the night before xmas
     
  2. BodyDroppedNikes

    BodyDroppedNikes ...PENDEJO.... VIP

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    caught in a mosh...
    LOL good shit man!! :bo: :thumbsup:
     
  3. CRX-YEM

    CRX-YEM Super Moderator Moderator VIP

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    Bump, Bringing back an oldie but goodie

    Funny's for xmas
     
  4. Slammed90Lude

    Slammed90Lude Senior Member

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    Bring back threads from the dead for the sake of adding 0 value comments will not be tolerated

    click clack locked :p
     
  5. Battle Pope

    Battle Pope New Member

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    I like the Korn version.
     
  6. phunky.buddha

    phunky.buddha Admin with a big stick Admin VIP

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  7. hcivic.com

    hcivic.com Senior Member

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  8. EXtremeAccord

    EXtremeAccord Senior Member

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    Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house
    Not a creature was stirring, except for Von Claus
    He was up in my ass with a vigorous thrust
    Then in came his mother, with the triple-X-sized bust

    She smacked Claus around, she made him her bitch
    I almost felt sorry, but only a titch
    Then out of nowhere I found myself ready
    To bone Claus right back, right in his heady

    I skull-fucked the man, I skull fucked him good
    His mother enjoyed it, while she tickled her "hood"
    Until I broke through, the base of his skull
    And poor Von Claus collapsed, his appearance came lulled.

    The moral of the story, my sick little fucks
    Is never bone a ricer, not even for ten bucks.

    *LET US MAKE TEH S3NS3!!!1!
     
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