> > > >TRIPS TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM...
> > > >
> > > >FEMALE SOFA----- A 500 lb. woman from Illinois was examined in a
> > >hospital. During the examination, an asthma inhaler fell from under
>her
> > >armpit, a dime was found under one of her breasts and a remote
>control
> > >was found lodged between the folds of her vulva.
> > > >
> > > >PRICKLY PAIR-----OUCH! In Michigan, a man came into the ER with
> > >lacerations to his penis. He complained that his wife had "...a rat
>in
> > >her privates..." and it bit him during sex (not the first
> > >conclusion
>I
> > >would have drawn I don't think). After an examination of his wife,
> > >it
>
> > >was revealed that she had a surgical needle left inside her after a
> > >recent hysterectomy.
> > > >
> > > >PING PONG ANYONE?----- A 20 year old man came into the ER with a
>stony
> > >mass in his rectum. He said that he and his boyfriend were fooling
> > >around with concrete mix, then his boyfriend had the idea of
> > >pouring
>the
> > >mix into his anus using a funnel (as you do)?!!. The concrete then
> > >hardened (no s%^t!), causing constipation and pain. Under general
> > >anesthesia, a perfect concrete cast of the man's rectum was removed
> > >along with a ping pong ball. (Boy we live sheltered lives - thank
> > >goodness).
> > > >
> > > >BLIND DRUNK----- A drunk staggered into a Pennsylvania ER
>complaining
> > >of severe pain while trying to remove his contact lenses. He said
>that
> > >they would come out halfway, but they always popped back in. A
> > >nurse tried to help using a suction pump, but without success.
> > >Finally, a doctor examined him and discovered the man did not have
> > >his contact lenses in at all. He had been trying to rip out the
> > >membrane of his cornea.
> > > >
> > > >OUCH AND DOUBLE OUCH!----- A couple hobbled into a Washington
> > > >State
>
> > >emergency room covered in bloody restaurant towels. The man had his
> > >hands around his abdomen and the woman had hers around her head.
> > >They
>
> > >eventually explained to doctors that they had gone out that evening
>for
> > >a romantic dinner. Overcome with passion, the woman crept under the
> > >table to administer oral sex to the man (classy or what??). While
> > >in
>the
> > >act, she had an epileptic fit, which caused her to clamp down on
> > >the man's penis and wrench it from side to side. In agony and
>desperation,
> > >the man grabbed a fork and stabbed her in the head until she let
> > >go.
> > > >
> > > >And you thought YOU were having a bad day!!!!
> > > >
> > > >FEMALE SOFA----- A 500 lb. woman from Illinois was examined in a
> > >hospital. During the examination, an asthma inhaler fell from under
>her
> > >armpit, a dime was found under one of her breasts and a remote
>control
> > >was found lodged between the folds of her vulva.
> > > >
> > > >PRICKLY PAIR-----OUCH! In Michigan, a man came into the ER with
> > >lacerations to his penis. He complained that his wife had "...a rat
>in
> > >her privates..." and it bit him during sex (not the first
> > >conclusion
>I
> > >would have drawn I don't think). After an examination of his wife,
> > >it
>
> > >was revealed that she had a surgical needle left inside her after a
> > >recent hysterectomy.
> > > >
> > > >PING PONG ANYONE?----- A 20 year old man came into the ER with a
>stony
> > >mass in his rectum. He said that he and his boyfriend were fooling
> > >around with concrete mix, then his boyfriend had the idea of
> > >pouring
>the
> > >mix into his anus using a funnel (as you do)?!!. The concrete then
> > >hardened (no s%^t!), causing constipation and pain. Under general
> > >anesthesia, a perfect concrete cast of the man's rectum was removed
> > >along with a ping pong ball. (Boy we live sheltered lives - thank
> > >goodness).
> > > >
> > > >BLIND DRUNK----- A drunk staggered into a Pennsylvania ER
>complaining
> > >of severe pain while trying to remove his contact lenses. He said
>that
> > >they would come out halfway, but they always popped back in. A
> > >nurse tried to help using a suction pump, but without success.
> > >Finally, a doctor examined him and discovered the man did not have
> > >his contact lenses in at all. He had been trying to rip out the
> > >membrane of his cornea.
> > > >
> > > >OUCH AND DOUBLE OUCH!----- A couple hobbled into a Washington
> > > >State
>
> > >emergency room covered in bloody restaurant towels. The man had his
> > >hands around his abdomen and the woman had hers around her head.
> > >They
>
> > >eventually explained to doctors that they had gone out that evening
>for
> > >a romantic dinner. Overcome with passion, the woman crept under the
> > >table to administer oral sex to the man (classy or what??). While
> > >in
>the
> > >act, she had an epileptic fit, which caused her to clamp down on
> > >the man's penis and wrench it from side to side. In agony and
>desperation,
> > >the man grabbed a fork and stabbed her in the head until she let
> > >go.
> > > >
> > > >And you thought YOU were having a bad day!!!!
last one is the best
:bo: :bo: :bo: :bo: :bo:
That is some funny stuff.k
