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Argh... I need to vent about women

Discussion in 'Members' Lounge' started by YouKnowWhoIBee, Oct 13, 2007.

  1. YouKnowWhoIBee

    YouKnowWhoIBee my avatar is better.

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    This will be a long one...

    I don't get girls anymore. I honestly think I start to get them... they they flip 180 degrees. I have been with my girl for over 3 years now, and I thought we were doing so great. But the little things are getting to me at this point. I am going to list a few things, and just let me know your thoughts about these...

    1. She gets off of work at the restaurant, and decides to hang out at the bar every night until 12 or later.
    2. Makes promises to catch up for dinner or go out when I get home from work... but turns out she whores me and hangs out with her friends.
    3. Always ignores my calls, or coincidentally doesn't hear her phone... until she is 2 minutes away from home.
    4. Gets in car slight car accident numerous times in a year
    a. slide in the rain and hit her fender into the guard rail
    b. driving home drunk, sideswiped a car
    c. curb rashes on 100% of her rims
    d. just tonight! backs into a car in the parking lot and breaks her taillight.
    5. What annoys me the most though about her driving is that she does it drunk. She will leave the bar with 5-6 beers and 2-3 mix drinks 2 to 3 nights out of the week.
    6. Her parents gave her a basically brand new Mazda Protege, that she has trashed. She has cigarette burns all over it, trash everywhere, and a closet in her trunk.
    6. Every ends up the same... we fuck and go to sleep. Not solving or addressing anything.

    I mean fuck... I have forgiven her for so much.
    -She cheated on me back in May '06
    -She kept hanging out with this guy all the time whoring me for him 4 nights a week.
    I know she didn't cheat on me... but it is just shitty.
    -She flushed her engagement ring down the toilet on accident. So i bought her a new one.

    She always comments on me not having any friends. I have a core group of buddies, but I prefer to sit at home during the week. I work 9am-8pm (no exaggeration) Monday - Friday. I have the weekends to myself, and sometimes I work then as well. I am trying to save up enough money to pay off my debt by December. But I don't go to the bars on the weekdays, and on weekends I prefer to clean the apartment, visit my parents in PA and watch football. I play my Xbox on the weekends as well but thats for an hour at most. I may go out to the bar once every 2-3 weeks, but it is not something I want to do all the time.

    I guess it is just me growing up, and her just still being immature. I comtemplate leaving her, because the ignoring of the phone calls happens too much. I would approximate twice a week... every week... for the past year. So about 100 times she has ignored my calls, to stay out late and drink, or to hang out with friends, or to be a total bitch in the past year. And when she does go out and I know about it, she never comes home early. It is always till 12 or later that she comes stumbling in the door. She gets mad at me because I stay up to make sure she gets home ok.

    For some reason I just keep forgiving her. I think the reason is finances. I have roughly 400 each paycheck to spend after bills on regular pay. I can afford this apartment on my own, but it would be rough. I am not spending any of my overtime money, due to the fact it goes right to bills. So I am sure I could swing it, but it would be so tight, that I don't think I would leave work. I can move in with an old friend of mine in his condo, but it is a 12x10 bedroom... so it is not that big.

    The bitch of it is... the girl I talked to has come back in my life and wants to hang out. She answers every call, and is all about me. She is just one of those laid back girls that gets annoying because she is too clingy. I ignore her calls and stay away from the conversations about us getting back together, because my heart is with the current girl. But it is so hard to just let my current girl walk all over me.

    Like case in point... She got off of work at ~10:30, she was drinking at the bar after work. I know this because it seems to be a daily occurance. I know this and start to call her. The first call goes through and I hear the phone fumbling around and hangs up. No answer to the next 5 calls over the course of an hour. So I drive up there and she is there just talking to a whole bunch of girls she works with. I go over to her and ask why she hasnt called me yet, because I have been worried about her. She says... I wrecked my car, and I just want to get drunk. (But she gets drunk 4 nights a week!) So I tell her to grow up and she gets mad, and I leave. So that was 12ish, and it is now 1am.. no calls... not home... and I am positive she will stroll in her at 2:30.

    I am sorry for venting so much, and I am sure I will vent more but I just need to speak and get some unbiased opinions.

    Cliff Notes
    - my current girl is a douchebag

    rofl- I just proofread the thread, and saw my previous engaement/cheating thread :( oh how history repeats itself.
     
    Last edited: Oct 13, 2007
  2. Battle Pope

    Battle Pope New Member

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    If it's bothering you this much, you need to try to work it out, and if she refuses to meet you halfway AT THE LEAST, or even talk about it, leave her ass. You'll make it.
     
  3. dacheat

    dacheat ..is grounded.

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    from my expert, female perspective: she's immature and trying to exercise her independence. you're too available to her, i'm guessing...it's like that shit's in the bag, why does she have to 'work' for anything? you sound/seem very forgiving and invested (good things) but she seems to be...kinda greedy and selfish? i guess...can you think of anything she's done for you lately? i'm not talking sexual favors...does she do any...you know. romantic girl crap?

    if not i'd say it isn't really a functioning relationship; it's more of a parasitic symbiosis.

    i'd be less available to her, and not in a gameplaying way...more like in a 'we're both adults and if you don't like something let's change it' way.

    $.02
     
  4. pissedoffsol

    pissedoffsol RETIRED

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    i would have tossed her long ago for less......

    she's got a drinking problem, but obviously won't admit it.

    do you want this woman to be the mother of your future kids? i don't think so.

    MTFO.
     
  5. Black Widow g2

    Black Widow g2 *princess*

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    I second that.

    Here's some additional info. She's lying to you, you know it, she's probably fucking someone else, you think she is, and she's a fucking sleaze for driving drunk. Yes, I was a sleaze too. I got caught, and learned my lesson. She just seems to be taking advantage of you and since you let her do this to you, she will continue to do it.

    Question: If this all bothers you, you know she won't change... or she will but for like 2 months... why be with someone who doesn't care what you think? Why be with someone who doesn't want to treat you the way you deserve to be?

    EDIT: I just thought of something... after reading about how you call her, know she gets drunk etc and stay up just to make sure she gets home ok, it seems like you really do care about this girl, but it sounds to be wearing closely to a parent kind of affection... does she have daddy issues? she might see you as a father figure, not a lover anymore. but, i just wanted to say, that's nice that you do care about her wellbeing. I didn't get that in my marriage at all. I just got the interrogation.
     
    Last edited: Oct 13, 2007
  6. Z6CRX

    Z6CRX übber ɐɾuıu etarip

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    I agree on the above comments. Then again, I'm not one for relationshits. But I figured i'd say best of luck with it all.

    By the way. I haven't seen you for a while, need to catch up some time.
    :ph34r:
     
  7. YouKnowWhoIBee

    YouKnowWhoIBee my avatar is better.

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    State College, PA >.< ... Im still at comcast :) give me a ring... im always up for the Grande Meal at Taco Bell :)
     
  8. Jeef

    Jeef NO MA'AM Moderator VIP

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    I agree with Pissedoff. She not worth it. If my girlfriend cheated on me I think I would have to toss her ass to curb since I don't think I could trust her again. There are decent girls out there but they are tough to find. You two definitely seem to be going in different directions in life. If you stay with her make sure you two are looking to have similar goals in life because this can lead to more problems down the road. But you being 22 she is probably around the same age so you are both young. Don't rush into getting married, take time to figure things out. The decision is yours but make sure you are getting treated the way you should and I am not just talking sexually either.
     
  9. BodyDroppedNikes

    BodyDroppedNikes ...PENDEJO.... VIP

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    caught in a mosh...
    kick her drunk ass to the curb. you dont need that shit in your life man. sounds like you got enough going on without her doing the shit that shes doing to you.
     
  10. TurboMirage

    TurboMirage YEEAAAHHH VIP

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    sounds like sabrina. hit that shit one more time for good times and move out.
     
  11. BigJ

    BigJ I'm just about that action Boss. VIP

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    I'm with BDN.


    She's definitely not worth it dude. You sound like a great dude, and you're too nice for her. Seriously. Kick her to the curb. She's not as good as you, and to me, isn't even a girl I'd be remotely interested in.
     
  12. jeffie7

    jeffie7 Wrong Whole! VIP

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    I'm not going to say anything because you already CLEARLY know what needs to be done. there's no question to that.

    Just make sure you post her pics in the GF thread.

    at least get the last laugh. =)
     
  13. LyveMyche

    LyveMyche Swollen Member

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    Ahhight dude..Let me begin by saying I have been exactly where you are. and it didnt work for me either... So... Sit back and relax, this is going to be lengthy as I'm going to become Obi-Wan for a minute (or OBD1 as it were):D

    You My Friend.... Are trying to date the "Party Girl"... We all know the "Party Girl"... She is cool to drink with and have a good time with. She laughs at your clever jokes and she flirts with you... Talking shit with you... some of it might even get a bit dirty... If you play it just right... You might even get to throw her a bang. BUT.... You do not fall in love with the "Party Girl".
    The "Party Girl" is just that, she is a drinking buddy and possible fuck buddy with no strings attached...The "Party Girl" is happy to play that role, but at this point in her life she is not REPEAT... She Is Not at all interested in changing who or how she is... not for you or anyone else for that matter. Because a relationship is not what she wants or needs at this point. And don't think you are going change how she feels about that by showing her more love than she has ever felt before or caring for her more than anyone else ever has or whatever, because unfortunately, none of that is going to make any difference, the "Party Girl" doesn't allow herself to fall for such things because she is convinced that she is not ready for that in her life just yet. and BTW... Staying out till 12am will progress to 1am then 2am... just to let you know
    And in her defense... Thats totally cool too. You must respect that. We have all been (or will be) at that point in our lives, for me it came after my divorce. I decided I was going to have fun and make up for the living that I had missed out on in my early 20's... So I did... I was 27, going out every night... picking up girls, getting hammered and having fun (thats when I later ran into my "Party girl".) Eventually I got over all that being the "Party Guy" and found someone that meant (and still means) the world to me. She should have made all that clear to you early on though, but, you didnt say how old she is, maybe she is just getting to the age where she can go out and is just becoming the "Party Girl".
    I guess my point in all of this is Dude you are 22 years old... When I was your age I was in a relationship that I shouldn't have been in, married to a woman who was essentially playing me. I should have seen it though, but at the time I wanted to "believe" ya know..."She wouldn't do that..." I had to learn the hard way, but you cant change people... and If you manage to make them change, they will eventually despise you for it in the end.
    Life is too short for you to be wasting each others time... Nor should you be fucking around with bad women. Believe me the good ones are out there. you just have to wade through a bunch of bad ones first. But there is a reason for this... It is so you learn what it is about the bad ones to look for and avoid. and it makes you appreciate a good woman when you find one.
    For example...If the only steaks you eat are the shitty ones at IHOP or Waffle House, Then you finally get a good filet mignon cooked just right at like Longhorn or something, you immediately can tell the fucking difference. You see what I mean?

    Again man, thats not to say she is a bad woman, because deep inside she may not be. But as far as she is concerned, this is not the time in her life for that. If it was she would have cared more about the engagement ring you gave her and wouldn't have accidentally flushed it. If it was she would come home after work to spend time with her man...And further, When two people are on the same page, they answer each others calls...no matter who they are with. unless they are up to something they don't want to have to answer to you for, in which case, they are not on the same page.

    Now... Financially speaking...As a fellow debt snowballer, I fully understand and appreciate where your head is on getting out of debt... Press on! If it means you move in with your friend and stay in a 12X10 room (as small as that seems, believe it or not I have stayed in smaller) DO IT! and throw what you money you were going to spend on rent and utilities into your snowball and pay that shit off faster! Believe me, a guy your age who has his head on straight financially should have no trouble finding a good woman who can appreciate that.
    I'm sorry if this is not what you wanted to hear, but I think this is along the lines of what you need to hear. Best of luck to you man... Think it through and make smart decisions because inevitably, they will affect the outcome of your life if not sooner, then later..

    I'm just speaking from personal experience.
     
    Last edited: Oct 14, 2007
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  14. Jeef

    Jeef NO MA'AM Moderator VIP

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    Well put LyveMyche, party girls are no good for long term. Now I wish I could convince one of my good friends about this.
    Also remember that you probably won't meet a good girl at the bar, could happen but not likely.
     
  15. SlushboxTeggy

    SlushboxTeggy It's only stupid if it doesn't work VIP

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    Agreed. I was a serious drinker and would drive drunk maybe twice a month(still not good). She is doing it 4x a week???
    When I read this I thought I got shitfaced last night and started a thread. I'm in a similar place.
    2 girls-both gorgeous, intelligent, and into me

    The current/former ex for those who remember is a bit of a "party girl", but will hang out with me over going out. She had issues with drinking until I told her that in my current situation(I cant drink anymore) I couldn't be with someone getting out of control all the time. Since that conversation she has only had one bad night. But she is immature. She's 20 and I'm 21 but my past year has been a little rough and I have grown up a lot. But that's were my heart is, so that's what I'm trying to make work. Plus I can tell she is making a serious effort to try and make it work as well.

    The other girl is 23, graduated and is a teacher. She lives in the area still so a relationship would be totally feasible. The thing is, she is a little too mature for me. She goes to bed at like 11pm. That kind of mature.

    I have either extreme of maturity. The one thing that connects the two... they are trying to make things work. It doesn't sound like your girl gives a shit. It sounds like she would rather do her thing no matter what and deal with you later on. I say do what I did with the first girl. Explain to her that you would like to be with her, but she must try to make some changes. Make sure to point out that you can make it, finacially and emotionally, without her, but you would rather her be there with you. Then it is cut and dry from there. She continues the bullshit then peace. If she tries and relapses OCASSIONALLY (not twice a week) then continue with that.
     
  16. pissedoffsol

    pissedoffsol RETIRED

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    dude, my g/f is in her pj's by 8, and passed out around 9:30. lol

    it sucks sometimes, but sometimes its great. i put her to bed, then do my hing and finish up on work and crap for the day.
     
  17. get_nick

    get_nick These snozzberries taste like snozzberries... VIP

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    me and my girl are usually in bed by 8 so we can get up at 4.

    anyways, your gf sucks. and you're an idiot for staying with her so long. she's walking all over you. she doesn't care about you. she doesn't think about you long term. she's cheating on you still, more than likely she has cheated on occasions you don't even know about. yeah, it burns, but you gotta let it go man. fuck, i sound like usher.


    She sucks, she's cheating on you, you're wasting your time. get rid of her.
    :deadhorse:
     
  18. pissedoffsol

    pissedoffsol RETIRED

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    take naked pics first and post in the g/f thread :)
     
  19. norcalgsr

    norcalgsr Honda Master Technician

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  20. Black Widow g2

    Black Widow g2 *princess*

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    Girls are to sleep with after the game! Not to coach during the game!!!!
     
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