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break ups

Discussion in 'Members' Lounge' started by brian11to1, Jul 19, 2006.

  1. brian11to1

    brian11to1 Senior Member

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    So, I have a question. I have never felt this way and I need to know if its natural.

    My girlfriend and I broke up, blah blah Ill save all the bullshit.

    Since we broke up,
    • Live together, still...
    • Fight and act like we are together, still...
    • Are trying to be friends...

    Well, she's moving out so that will solve A and B but is it worth pursuing C? I mean is it worth being friends with your EX?
     
  2. pissedoffsol

    pissedoffsol RETIRED

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    none of my ex's still talk to me.
     
  3. reikoshea

    reikoshea HS Troll...And Mod Moderator VIP

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    my exs only talk to me on AIM....and sometimes the most recent ex's new bf yells at me for talking to his girl. blah blah. Im pretty sure if she still lived out here id get tail in an instant.
     
  4. brian11to1

    brian11to1 Senior Member

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    We know B', we know.

    reikoshea - yea, well thats not really the point of this thread.

    I didnt actually ask if you talk to your ex's, I asked it if its worth pursuing a friendhship after all is said and done.
     
  5. reikoshea

    reikoshea HS Troll...And Mod Moderator VIP

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    if yall were really serious, id say no. youd still be thinkin in the back of your mind, "Id really like to tap that again".

    If youre okay with that, then sure, go for it. If it would bother you, then id recommend against the friend thing. I cant remember the last time it has worked with any of my friends.
     
  6. brian11to1

    brian11to1 Senior Member

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    WEll, I still haev feelings towads her but she doesnt want to be in a relationship. She says she felt married at 18 adn didnt like it. So she wanted out. Im over that. Really, I am. I mean its what she wants and shes essentially letting go fo a really good guy. Not to toot my own horn.

    I love her dearly and will do anything for her. But, being her friend seems so hard becuase of the stuff she chooses to do. Like stay out all night and barely get up in time to get to work. Or not come home at all, stay out drinking (at 18)...

    I dont want her to waste her life away.
     
  7. reikoshea

    reikoshea HS Troll...And Mod Moderator VIP

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    i know that feeling. i tried keeping up, and just couldnt do it. If yours and her lifestyles cant coincide....your probably better off not trying. Its sure to start a fight and thats not what builds a good relationship.
     
  8. brian11to1

    brian11to1 Senior Member

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    you're right, problem solved.
     
  9. Celerity

    Celerity Well-Known Member

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    You aren't over shit. You'll get to the answers as to what you should do when you realise that.

    I'm not saying that "if you were over it, you wouldn't be so distraught" or "If you were over it you wouldn't say 'I still love her'" I'm saying that "if you were over it you wouldn't make a post"
     
  10. reikoshea

    reikoshea HS Troll...And Mod Moderator VIP

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    i know that your thinking brian....i hate it when celerity is right too.
     
  11. Sabz5150

    Sabz5150 FALCON PUNCH!!!

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    The only ex I still talk to is my baby momma. I like to be able to spend time with my lil one and being on good terms with mom makes that so much easier on everyone.
     
  12. eg6sir

    eg6sir Supa Mod Moderator VIP

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    you may keep in touch every now and then... but eventually it'll die off..
     
  13. brian11to1

    brian11to1 Senior Member

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    He's not right though. I am over her and what we had. For me its not hard to be over someone but still care about them. I still care about my ex from two years ago, but again Im over what we had together becuase well we dont have it anymore.

    Ive dealt with Karol enough to know how our friendship will be, there will be jealousy from her end towards me about girls and such and I dont want to deal with that. So, therefore we will probably end up not as friends.

    As a matter of fact I just told her that if we arent able to be friends we wont be shit in the future.

    She shoul dbe moving out in a few days.
     
  14. Celerity

    Celerity Well-Known Member

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    ooook... so if you know everything, and no one can help you - What's the question again ?
     
  15. brian11to1

    brian11to1 Senior Member

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    No place in any of my posts in this thread did I say I knew everything, no need to be an asshole Celerity.

    After reading what Reikoshea posted, I agreed...

    But just for you, Ill post the original question...

    "I mean is it worth being friends with your EX?"
     
  16. TurboMirage

    TurboMirage YEEAAAHHH VIP

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    IT IS NOT WORTH IT!!


    get away, as soon as possible.
     
  17. Celerity

    Celerity Well-Known Member

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    Ok, you can't be friends with your ex because you still have feelings for her.

    Is it a good idea ? Sure. But you can't be friends with your ex.

    Is it possible ? No.

    Think of your regular friends. She will never be in with that group, in your mind. You'll treat her special, you won't joke with her the same, and you won't invite her to do fucked up shit (Like me talking about my 401k with my accountant while we're laying underneath a Grand Prix hanging exhaust).

    You can humor yourself and have some mental masterbations about being friends with her, but if you take a moment and think about it - you don't "envision" being friends with guys that you know.

    So no, you can't be friends with your ex. Can you be Cordial ? Yes. Can you still do things together ? Yes. Can you be concerned ? Yes.
     
  18. reckedracing

    reckedracing TTIWWOP VIP

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    don't even try being friends...
    it might sound fucked up but thats just the way it is...

    as soon as you have another girl in your life she won't want to talk to you anyway... and you being friends with her is going to keep you unavailable for other things that may come along

    you can be "friendly" but i wouldn't go out of my way to be friends with her...
     
  19. totalburnout

    totalburnout Well-Known Member VIP

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    I'm trying to be friends with my now Ex. Infact my AIM window is blinking right now.
    Its hard to keep it non-physical.
     
  20. get_nick

    get_nick These snozzberries taste like snozzberries... VIP

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    it is extremely hard to keep it non-physical.

    but the main thing is, how are you going to feel when she gets a new man? it's not worth the stress. all or none, especially if you really are over it like you say.
     
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