1. Can you cry under water? 2. When we were young we used to go "skinny dipping," now we just go "chunkydunking." 3. How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? 4. If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches? 5. Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... but it's only a penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going? 6. Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? 7. Why does a round pizza come in a square box? 8. How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? 9. Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours? 10. If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? 11. Why are you IN a movie, but you are ON TV? 12. Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in! binoculars to look at things on the ground? 13. How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America? 14. If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call? 15. I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place! 16. Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over? 17. Stress is when you wake up screaming and then you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.