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I'm a Whore

Discussion in 'Members' Lounge' started by Celerity, Sep 29, 2005.

  1. Celerity

    Celerity Well-Known Member

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    I'm treated like a Whore, I'm regarded as a Whore, and I'm disrespected like a Whore.


    I'm a Network analyst, Consultant. That means that I both bid for my own work, and I rely on Employment agencies (Headhunters, consulting firms, whatever you may call them) for work as well. When a company feels certain.. urges... They can't always get the desired result from their wives (Their employees). So they will turn to one the person they know will "Do that". They turn to a Pimp (My pimps).

    Of course, they don't want to spend a lot, so they always start off in the bad section of town. They call up two-bit pimps (Like temping agencies) looking for some out-of work, yet cute little whore to do their bidding. But the two-bit pimps, while they may have a whore that has seen it done, or heard stories about it, isn't ready to do it. But they can bring in a handjob whore for pennies on the dollar. But no one will pay for something that they can do themselves. So the I.T. Johns start to head up town alittle more. They find that the whores are coming out in fewer numbers, and demanding higher pay. But none of them will do that special "Something", they wind up going really uptown and getting in with a top-notch pimp. The Top-notch pimp shows them me - I've been known to do special requests for all sorts of I.T. Johns that don't have wives (Employees) to take care of them. My portfolio is a who-is-who of the highest industry hitters. Hedge funds, Insurance, Stock Markets, Banks and a list of other area hotshots. To hire me will put you in the Elite clubs, and your name could get listed with some of the big shots. I'm expensive, but do I get that money ? No. Sure, I get a lot of money, but no where near all of it. Johns are paying $100 an hour, expecting me to run into work everyday like I'm making $100 an hour, when the truth is I make $30.

    The catch is, I'm top-shelf pussy. And you're going to pay more than 4 times what you'll pay for anyone else. But that's ok, you have a corporate budget. So the deal is done, and I'm bought and paid for. The pimp hands you my papers and you're off to the quickest motel.

    Metaphor:
    We show up, and before the door is closed I hear "So, what else can you do for me?"

    Real Life:
    I walk in the office, meet and greet everyone, am showed a (Usually empty) desk and told I will have to build a PC to use, and then tell everyone a little about yourself, and why I'm there. After that, the boss will usually (like, always) take me aside to discuss what else I feel needs to be done, real secret-like.

    Metaphor:
    Thrown the cuffs as the veil is slid off the camera.

    Real Life:
    I'm given boundaries, but I'm expected to work around those boundaries while people just watch and comment on it. I'm not given an admin password, but I've been given administration responsibility. Someone makes sure to grant me just enough access to the network folders I need, even on a document-by-document basis. The hiring manager will use me to show off to his boss "I hired a consultant who will do all sorts of things that are too unspeakable for our employees - And I didn't even compromise network security"

    Metaphor:
    The John decides it's funny to hit me. My pimp is alerted, and the pimp shows up, with stick in hand. "You can't slap my bitch around, nukka" says the Pimp. The I.T. John says "But I'm paying a lot of money. Here, I'll give you a bonus. We'll extend the contract. I really like this whore." The pimp, Takes the money and tells the John he can do whatever he wants, Shit, everyone else in town has. He da man.

    Real Life:
    I'm not included in meetings, where my projects are being decided upon. My presentations are presented by others, to claim it's their work. My voicemail is taken away (It's employees only). My internet is tracked, and my mail is regulated. Finally, my chair is taken away and replaced with a stationary reception chair. I call my firm, and complain. "We'll take care of it," they assure me. An hour later I get a call "Well, things will look up now. They liked you so much, they want to extend your contract". "Of course they do," I think "I'm everything they ever wanted".

    Metaphor:
    I am on beckoned call 24/7. I'm not allowed in public sight, nor am I allowed at the Company Picnic. I'm not a loved family member, I'm a goddam whore.

    Real Life:
    I am on beckoned call 24.7. I'm not allowed in public sight, and am told to stay low while clients are in the office. I'm not allowed at the company picnic, because I'm not an employee. I'm not allowed at the christmas party. I am not to be seen.

    Metaphor:
    They love me when I'm in action, but when their family is around - They make it known (Above and beyond what they need to) that "Family is first". The John pays the Pimp alittle more lip service so he can try this Humiliation thing he's been seeing on the internet. Humiliation is part of this whore's life - If he was really that good, someone would have swept him off his feet and married him.

    Real Life:
    I work the slack of the rest of the department, which has gotten worse since I showed up. I start to complain that the employees are setting me up to fail, until I realise it was the Boss that told them to take some time off - The consultant is there. When they return from vacation or whatever, they are free to blame anything on me. What do I know? If I was so good, I would be an employee somewhere.

    Metaphor:
    The money is on the counter. Get out of here.

    Real Life:
    "Sorry for the formality Steve, but we're done with you and security will have to show you out. You understand, it's security. Also, we couldn't tell you because we need to protect our environment. " I'm walked off the job just that quick. No thanks, because hey - It's my job to simply come in, get things done, and leave.

    Metaphor:
    I decide this is shit. The money is good, but my Pimps are taking a HUGE percent. I want out of this, and I want a home. I am sick of being disrespected, shat upon and althogether made to feel like a schmuck. I'm talented, I have a good head on my shoulders, and I'm looking for a little of the same love other peers have.

    Real Life:
    Pretty much verbatim.

    Metaphor:
    The pimp hears that I'm out of whoring, and gets all up in my face. He decides he'll start hitting things with his pimpin stick. He threatens that me without him, is like heavy metal without the bluenote - I ain't never goin platinum. He threatens that I'll never work again.

    Real Life:
    After successfully completing 2 contract terms, They get bent that I didn't sell a 3rd. They go over things like "How (I) Misrepresented them" and "Other guys would have gotten more time, or a permanent hire offer". They will do all sorts of shit to make me somehow feel that I'm not good enough for working on my own, or under someone else. That shit doesn't work on me, I'm a free whore - And I go through whatever pimp I want.

    Metaphor:
    I work the streets without a pimp. I find a few little gigs here and there, Who are REALLY looking for someone cheap. They love me, sure, because they are getting top-shelf Beverly Hills tang for southside bronx money. I get out of that shit really quick. I go back to the pimps. (Bills are due)

    Real Life:
    I work some independent gigs. I find a few little gigs here and there, Who are REALLY looking for someone cheap. They love me, sure, because they are getting Fortune 50 consulting services for CompUSA prices. I decide this isn't a great use of my talents. I go back to the agencies (Bills are due)

    Metaphor:
    They welcome me back. I made them some damn fine loot. They are ready again to make some money off my ass, so they get me in with someone really quick. "Don't worry baby, things won't be like they were last time". They know I'm desperate, they offer me 25% of all tricks, "No healthcare bitch! what, you mah wife?!"

    Real Life:
    Welcomed back, why not I made some good money, yadda yadda. But to put 25% into line, think $15 an hour for a job that they are paid $60 for. They make MAXIMUM cash on me, and then wonder why I don't want the job. The same thing happens: I show up, they expect me to be wearing a cape, find out I'm not, bitch and moan and take it out on me.

    Metaphor:
    The jobs are over. I want some permanent lovin now. So I start hitting the scenes. Newspapers and Dice are like Bars and single's nights - And if I want to find a quality relationship, I just have to find one. At the book store or somewhere cool like that. And how often does THAT happen ? And here is one better: Would you want to marry a whore?

    Real Life:
    I'm done with this consulting shit. I want to be respected like family again. I want to feel welcomed somewhere. Dice and Newspapers are full of shit, and they don't want to see my kind anyway. My Resume is 2 pages long - Full of some serious accomplishment and shit. I have a list of references from all my bosses. I make shit happen. My portfolio is full of temporary jobs - Ask yourself this: Would you hire someone that skits from job to job every 3 to 6 months?

    Metaphor:
    Going out for coffee. "So, if you're so great - which you look like you are - Then why hasn't any other woman wanted to whisk you away into their palace forever and ever?"
    Me: "They have, But they've been abusive assholes who like to piss on my face and hit me. Or, they live in Europe - just as bad"
    Her: "Uhhhh... huh."

    Real Life:
    Interview. "So, These positions are pretty high end. Of all these companies, why haven't they offered you a permanent job?"
    Me: "Oh, they have. I haven't wanted their job because the workplace isn't a right fit for me, or they have offered different positions, or they are out of state."
    Interviewer: "Uhhhh... huh."

    Metaphor:
    She takes a chance on a sow like me - But my past makes her feel really uncomfortable. She can't introduce me to her parents, and even her friends will give her a hard time. She wants a little tryst before things get serious. Let me ask you: Of course you would be interested in top-shelf pussy - But would you be proud of it? Would you trust it? Would you talk about marrying it? Someone that is, only talks about salvation - But in the end, they treat me like a whore anyway. Usually winds up with lots of bruises and abuse, and then tossed to the street.

    Real Life:
    They like my credentials, but they don't know what to think. "Will he join us for a quick fix, then skip out when he finds a better deal?" "Can he be trusted with the keys to the kingdom at that pay? Will he be lured back into consulting?" They want a little "Try-and-buy" contract before they place their bets. So they are basically answering my whore background, by making me a Whore offer. And I'm oh so dirty for taking it. Chances are, the first few weeks are really rough - lots of punching and bruises. They toss me into the streets again.



    Consulting is great when it's viewed for what it is - It's you putting your best foot forward for experience with different offices, in different towns, filling different roles. You'll get some real high times from it - You'll get applauded, you'll be heralded. Even whores have orgasms.

    But if you let them take even an INCH, like I have described above, you will regret it. As I am now.

    I'm not sure anyone realises how degrading it is to have to answer shit like "Haven't you been offered jobs at your clients?" and "We want to be assured that you won't leave us in a few months either". I am heavily insulted by this. What was one day so damned cool and elite, turned on me like a doberman, and became very, very ugly.

    Anyway, Discuss :)


    -> Steve
     
  2. Seany-izzle

    Seany-izzle New Member

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    any cliffnotes by anychance? lol. and how long did you spend typing all that... jesus h christ.
     
  3. infamouz

    infamouz Senior Member

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    dude im a whore too, dont worry about. you'll learn to love when you like sex.
     
  4. pissedoffsol

    pissedoffsol RETIRED

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    i hear ya man... i'm easliy worth double what i make.... but, there's just no one willing to pay for it.

    when going 3rd party, they takea big cut, but the companies are willing to put up 100 an hour, because they don't have to hire you (costs like 5k to hire an emplyee in ct), they don't have to offer you any benefits ($0) and overall can fireyou or termintate the project at will with no ill-reproduction
     
  5. TurboMirage

    TurboMirage YEEAAAHHH VIP

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    my IT job is awesome.

    take help desk requests, cut PO's, make quotes, and play games.

    all for 19.50/hr plus incentives, free health/dental, and travel. :mrgreen:
     
  6. Celerity

    Celerity Well-Known Member

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    I've compared Consulting to Whoring lately, which I feel is more accurate (After doing it for 8 years, and now wanting a permanent position).

    I wouldn't make the Whore comparison if I didn't get such shit like "Your resume is too long, can you cut off the second page?" or "Can you play with dates here? Because this resume just looks like you quit everyjob you have" or "Can you have a reference lie?" or "Any HR department is going to put this in a bad pile".


    What the FUCK ?! I'm a goddam I.T. Genius. I've saved projects and saved companies, and I have the references from the companys to back me up. I get hired to perform high-risk, high profile jobs - and I do them with mastery. I can work circles around any clown out there with college and a 5 year position going no where on a help desk.

    I think I'm being very fair looking for work now - I want to be entry level, I want to climb their ladders, I'm genuinely interested in bringing my past to them. And at best, I'm recieved with "I dont like the fact that you take contracts. Take this temporary contract and see how it works out"

    "Oh, honey, I won't treat you like a whore. Now let me piss on you and take the money on your way out".


    It's getting to be bullshit.
    And Infamouz, how about you read something before replying, mmm kay ?
     
  7. Sweet InStinct

    Sweet InStinct Hot Member

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    way to make someone feel worse..
     
  8. Celerity

    Celerity Well-Known Member

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    It's what Chris does :) That's ok, I hand him some zingers too.. Here is another Zinger for all of you:


    Would you turn down, your job - different company... If you saw the $2000 Weekly... weekly paychecks that you'll bring home?

    Don't answer. Because if you say "no" you're completely full of shit. That's what Consulting pays. I have made $80+k a year with 9 months work. It's REAL tempting.
     
  9. Sweet InStinct

    Sweet InStinct Hot Member

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    Impressive

    I work as an HR Admin at one of the departments at York University, I only make 19.00 Can. +4%Vacation pay, and my benifits are covered cuz im a student here.... meh I cant say I know alot of people my age making even half of that.. so Im good..

    Wish I was doing something more exciting..
     
  10. Celerity

    Celerity Well-Known Member

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    Oh forget it, I can never respect or like you.

    You're in HR. You're one of them.

    Tell your department that Celerity said they are a bunch of skittish little twits, inconsiderate as hell and somehow fishing for justification to reinforce their miserable asses. They aren't needed, they aren't welcome, and they will be the first in front of the firing squads if ever I'm emperor. Also, tell them the world is starting to learn of their little scam, and their heads will be on pikes soon enough. Smooches.

    Get out of that profession. HR people are Evil, "Catbert" is an accurate depiction of them, and they operate unchecked and free of layoffs or scrutiny. They are basically like Congress, but they have direct control of our lives. They watch us while we sleep, and they make shit up as they go along.

    -> Steve

    And I'll sign my name to that. if you're going into HR after college, consider yourself on ignore.
     
  11. totalburnout

    totalburnout Well-Known Member VIP

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    I am going to he-man bitch slap both of you. You're only worth what someone is willing to pay, fair market price.


    If you're both talented and have the experience, knowledge, and business sense to pull all of your talents together than run with them. Work may be harder to come by at first and sure you may be losing income while you're attempting to find a job that suites you, but the long term benefits far outweigh the short term consequences.

    In this world, especially this direct world of business, you have to put up or shut up. Steve, you're a smart guy, if you're this good then either 1) Go on the job hunt. You may not find a job exactly where you want or you may have to alter your lifestyle but thats all part of life. Even if you take a hit on income now, it will pay itself off down the road in both monetary value and happiness. or 2) Start your own company or firm. If you're a good business man then you'll find people to back you and aid you in your quest. From there, there's no looking back.

    The final thing that I'll say to both Brian and Steve is that by thinking so highly of yourselves, you're selling yourselves short. That sort of attitude will in no way, shape, or form help you out in the long run. You can't get by thinking that you know the world and you're better at what you do than everyone else, without proving it. These are the words from a man who's opinion of himself and who's attitude is identical. I'm not speaking out of ignorance but rather experience. I think I'm the best at what I do, shit I know I am the best at what I do - I sell things and I sell lots of things by relating to the people but thats a whole different story - but I still find myself shafted sometimes and not receiving everything that I feel I deserve. You know how I alleviated this problem? I put up or shut up, just last night. I sat down with those who are above me, my managers, and told them how it was. All eyes of all employees were on me, hell the General Manager even came over and sat in on the conversation. I had to field a million and one questions from every other employee that felt that same as I did and just never put up. I felt better about my job after saying the things that needed to be said and putting it out on the table. If things don't change immediately then I'll be going elsewhere...its that simple. Work is not worth the heart ache to do something that you don't 100% enjoy.

    I'm 20 and am working on completing a degree and I'm already getting my feet wet. I'm working up the business ladder and I personally feel that I'll be doing big things by the time I retire. Why do I feel this way, because I'm a mover and shaker...I make things happen.


    Steve and B, take some advice from this naive youngin, move, shake, and make things happen. Its time to shit or get off the pot, fellas.
     
  12. Sweet InStinct

    Sweet InStinct Hot Member

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    I only do Payroll.. :cry2:
    I dont hire or fire :cry2:

    I used to be a whore like you, doing office work on contract, then I landed this job on my own.. I hate HR agenies too, they make it impossible for anyone to find a decent job, they should be outlawed

    And I am getting into HR, but only the management side of it.. and Im a nice person stop being mean to me :cry2:

    lol
     
  13. Celerity

    Celerity Well-Known Member

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    Thanks for the advice and effort, your words aren't being ignored. But I should point out that obviously I don't say shit like this in everyday life. I came to HS to vent - I don't go off on rants like this at work or at interviews. But maybe I should. "Take low paying jobs" No. No. No no no.. You've seen "Reality Bites", yes? "I hear that McDonalds is always hiring, they had that nice retarded boy in the commercial" "Dad, I'm not retarded, I was valedictorian" "Well, you don't have to tell them that!" Don't do this. Don't. While I see the wisdom in the argument, spare it on me. I may take a part time job in a week or two if things don't look up, I may even help my friend at his construction company moving piles of wood - But I will not go outside of my talents and negate the past 10 years of expertise that I have built up. No way, No how. Also, being a Consultant is owning a business. I do corp-to-corp, and have a business tax ID. I pay taxes quarterly, have an accountant and a lawyer. I've had these things since you were 10 :) (I know you must like me playing the age thing as much as I like you playing the advice thing)

    All in all, I'm fine. I'll get my job, I have made preparations. I'm only reporting to you how people treat me like a whore when I go for permanent work. As if my previous results were astounding... for a lowly consultant . When the truth is that no one understands the work of a consultant. They learn things in the HR classroom ("We throw away resumes with too many jobs listed on them") instead of plugging in their brains and thinking for just a minute. I have to drop my papers off with a song and dance, and attach a box of chocolates to make them take me seriously.

    As a consultant, I can walk in and make a presentation and 80% of the time, get the job. Where I will once again be treated like shit, given a wad of money, and told to shut up about it. I usually do just that. I'm a whore.
     
  14. totalburnout

    totalburnout Well-Known Member VIP

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    See, the last portion of your post is what makes me call bullshit.


    If you have the skills you say and the people skills that you imply that you do, then you should not have an incredibley difficult time landing a well paying job, somewhere.

    Too many jobs of the resume is a thing of the past, most modern employers understand this. They expect to turn over employees every four years or so. It should not present a problem whatsoever.


    ...and steve, I don't think I need to spare advice on you, I think I have to smack you upside the head because you're as thick as me.
     
  15. Celerity

    Celerity Well-Known Member

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    Bold statement, no one I've ever met is as thick as I am. But yes, I've turned down 2 contracts since I've been out of work, with 2 dry weeks, and then 4 interviews that went poorly (PErmanent jobs). I know what I want, I want permanent. Even this week I turned down a job in Hartford at a good pay ($36 an hour.. not shabby)

    Pay is going down, it will. PC work is like TV repair now. If I'm not building a cisco cabinet, then I'm down in the trenches fighting with 2nd year consultants from CompUSA for support contracts.

    Believe it or not, the market is NO WHERE as full as I would have predicted. I thought by now I wouldn't be able to find work as a data entry typist. It's not bad. I'm not looking for consulting - I'm looking for permanent. And so far my strongest thing (Had a 7:00 am interview today) is this "Try and Buy" thing. A lot of people are doing it - But like I said in the original post, They are upset about my whore background, so they offer me a whore deal. It's not sensible.
     
  16. TurboMirage

    TurboMirage YEEAAAHHH VIP

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    we're equal opportunity zingers here. :)


    steve is extremely knowledgeable, moreso than me. i guess its who you know to get the job, and how much shit you can back up... thats the way it works for CSi and its clients. [​IMG]
     
  17. Airjockie

    Airjockie Watanabe Whore!!!

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    Well...if you go to that job fair, you got a job....

    I was just talking to a fellow employee in the hangar this morning, and his wife is the big boss's secretary...she has a lot of pull, and he told me to get names of the people that I would like to see get hired...and he'll tell his wife, and she'll work the miricle...and hell...you might end up as her secretary..or actually sitting behind a computer somewhere...or working with carbon fiber in the blade shop.

    It time for career change... [​IMG]

    But he did mention...

    All the times you applied...it doesn't matter if you have 5,10,50, 100 years experiance...if you don't have a flemsy peice of paper from a school..you wont get a job.
     
  18. Sabz5150

    Sabz5150 FALCON PUNCH!!!

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    LOL! And I just landed my next consultant gig. $21 an hour and yes, that does make me wonder what my 'pimp' is skimming off the top.

    [​IMG]
     
  19. pissedoffsol

    pissedoffsol RETIRED

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    the consultant thing doesn't work for me. i don't like the feeling of unknowingness. Sure, i may make less money-- but i know that each and every day, i'm going to get paid today. VS steve, who works for 4 months, then is off for 6 looking for the next contract.... i couldn't do that.

    I'm not paid a lot because i don't have a college degree. I gotta finish that at some point. And i don't have much expr. either... i'm on my 3rd year. In another year or so, i'll be considered "mid-career" and i'll be looked at higher than an entry-level guy with 1-3 yrs. I can out-do 95% of the people out of school, and a lot who have 10-15 years...
    and a lot of it comes from teaching yourself new things.
    i'm active on several high-volume web-dev and application lists.

    I learnded AJAX today :p so, now i can add that to the arsenal.

    It's not every day that you can find a person who can build computers/servers, understands point-to-point vs frame relay, phone systems/smart cards/T's/etc, can build a highly-popular standards-based website, program in asp, php, c++, javascript, perl, python, can read java enough to follow it, knows both linux and pc,

    bah, i just bored myself... but you get the point. i'm worth way more than 45k a year...
     
  20. Celerity

    Celerity Well-Known Member

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    I think I just got a job. $55k perm. We'll see tomorrow. She wrote my pimps and said "I'm at the top of her list, and she's ready to make a decision - she wants me to meet the director monday"

    Tomorrow I have another in Ridgefield.
     
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