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I am in the middle of growing a new bad habit, if you're interested.
And tonight, when my wife comes home, It will blossom into a fight.
I am WAY too sensitive. Allow me to explain.
I'm not sensitive in the way that if someone insults me, I take it to heart. I'm too sensitive to what is going on around me. I see the world in a TOTALLY different light than those around me, and I feel, than anyone else in the world.
Watch "How to make it BIG in advertising". That movie is about me. In the end, when he goes crazy - That's me right now. I read articles in papers and scream "Bullshit!" as loud as I need to. I look at what people normally believe to be true, and I yell about it being a lie.
I won't respect people in HR, strictly because they are HR people.
And a lot of people view this as a bad thing - But I have compiled my life's lessons and I have formed my opinions based on them. That is why I have no problem with someone saying they hate certain colors of people. Hey, whatever happened to them has formed that opinion. I DO, however, have a GREAT problem with young people and kids forming these opinions. I simply refuse to believe that you have the ability to draw any reasonable opinion based on such little experience.
And then there is that. The youngsters. Oh man oh man, that's a tough one to deal with. If you're younger than I am, I can respect you, but only as far as your age will allow me to respect. Like when someone with 2 years experience in IT tells me (with 16 years professional experience) what to do. The hair raises on the back of my neck and I think "What the hell do YOU know?!". But I feel that everyone gets like that with age.
Now, there are exceptions, because at several points I've been exceptional myself. I spent my 20s as a consultant, and if someone at age 40 has never consulted, then I feel I have the ability to share what I can. I know my boundaries.
But my boundaries are very .... well, far reaching. And a lot of people don't like that either (Ask ANYONE here on Hondaswap).
I am very careful about situations. When someone asks me "Why do I get so much spam?" I say, plainly "Because you asked for it" and then they start to whine about how they don't. Well, the truth is, you did ask for it. You may not have asked for it by name, but when you signed up for your Netzero account because it was cheap, you put a sign on your chest that says "I can't make good financial decisions" and the Spam wil REIGN DOWN UPON YOU with all sorts of "Attend our timeshare seminars" or "Free financing / no closing cost mortgages". If you visit porn pages, you WILL get porn spam and penis enlargements. You have asked for it, and my biggest problem is that I will tell someone, flat out, that they are fuckin idiots because of it. But it's not an insult at that point, it's an honest point and I feel that it is necessary to drive the point across.
Another annoying thing about me is that I treat others as I expect to get treated. Sounds fine, right ? Well, no. Because I think that sugar coating things, or making them sound like flat-out good ideas (I think you would look GREAT in this car! or I think this house is screaming for you!) I not only don't believe them, I RUN from them. I think it's the biggest insult ever. I think that honesty, even when it's harsh, is the most respectful thing one can offer. Not annoyed yet ? Well how about if you're my wife and she asks "Does this look good on me?". Imagine that conversation.
I trust NO ONE. But again, it's sublime. When a friend of mine tries to convince me to have kids, or get married, or buy a house, and THEY have one, then I know it's not in my best interest - it's in THEIRS. They don't want to be alone in the idiot pool, and they want you to be in their same rut. So when someone says something innocent like "Hey, you should marry her, I got married and it was the best thing to ever happen" I tell them "Tongue my ass.". Even though, yeah, marriage is on my plate, but I'm not done with the appetizers yet.
I speak very matter-of-factly. If someone is looking for some support, and they don't make it clear that they want support, I'll often tell them the opposite of what they need to hear. "I wouldn't mind being a cop" "You don't have what it takes to be a cop, you can't even change your own tires because it's too much work". They get annoyed.
I do it here too.
I'm overly considerate, and when people around me aren't, I get all pissed off at them. Everything I do I consider those around me. Example: I drive a huge truck. When I pull up to a stop sign, with a lane on any side, I won't pull up to the line - because it may block the person next to me from getting vital information about cross traffic. When I'm in my CRX, and people at an intersection pull up and block me, I get angry. I mean, I'll break a limb if it comes close to me.
I let things stew until I blow up. Everyone does this, but I do it for years and years and years. I can hold a grudge like no one can. I'll mull it over, stew over it, and hold it close. And when I turn around, I've been in a miserable situation for years because I wouldn't come forth at the onset and do something about it. I think and think and think and think until I'm so embedded in the situation, there is no easy way out.
I'm delusional. I think the world is going to end, and that I need to dedicate time every day to prepare for it. I feel it's necessary to learn how to snap someone's neck from behind, in case I'll need it sometime. I keep cans of food around for decades. I have a rucksack with all sorts of mil-spec goodies in it. I have dreams of building a bomb shelter or some sort of tactical parapit in my yard. I want to own a safehouse in the country. I think it may be important to add light armor to my cars. I think that someday the US government could actually worry about me. I think that it's possible that some day I could be emperor. I waste a lot of time with this, but it's in my nature and very hard to dispose of.
What else... OH, I am foolish with money. I have both managed to save tens of thousands of dollars, and I've managed to blow it on stupid shit. By stupid shit, I mean really what we all do here - On expensive mods, paint jobs, wheels and turbo kits. I don't know how to save for the future, because to me - Money just comes in, and money just goes out. I don't keep a checkbook. My bills are paid either on automatic payments, or when a bill collector actually calls. I look for ways out of spending money on things that make me miserable (Like taxes, fees and subscriptions) by cheating the system. I haven't bought a CD in 3 years or more, yet I have new music all the time.
I justify things that I do to their finest degree, then I get all bent when people try to justify themselves. I don't think they do it right.
And all this, is better than the way I used to be. Believe me, I've improved greatly.
-> Steve
i cant wear the tightie whities cause my boys feel chlostriphobic. they gotta be able to do as they please. but i would never ever "free ball" tho. my junk would get caught in my zipper if i wasnt paying attention.
