WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
"Yes" = No.
"No" = Yes.
"Maybe" = No.
"I'm sorry" = You'll be sorry...
"We need" = I want.
"It's your decision" = The correct decision should be obvious by now.
"Do what ever you want" = You'll pay for this later.
"We need to talk" = I need to complain.
"Sure, go ahead" = I don't want you to.
"I'm not upset" = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
"You're so manly" = You need a shave, and you sweat a lot.
"Be romantic, turn out the lights" = I have flabby thighs.
"This kitchen is so inconvenient" = I want a new house.
"I want new curtains" = And carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.
"I heard a noise" = I noticed you were almost asleep.
"Do you love me?" = I'm going to ask for something expensive.
"How much do you love me?" = I did something today you're going to hate.
"I'll be ready in a minute" = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.
"You have to learn to communicate" = Just agree with me.
"Are you listening to me!?!" = [Too late! You're dead!]
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MEN'S ENGLISH:
"I'm hungry. = I'm hungry.
"I'm sleepy. = I'm sleepy.
"I'm tired. = I'm tired.
"Do you want to go to a movie?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
"Can I take you out to dinner?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
"Can I call you sometime?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
"May I have this dance?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
"Nice dress!" = Nice cleavage!
"You look tense. Let me give you a massage" = I want to fondle you.
"What's wrong?" = What stupid self-inflicted psychological trauma is it now?
"What's wrong?" = I guess sex tonight is out of the question?
"I'm bored" = Do you want to have sex?
"I love you" = Let's have sex now!
"I love you, too" = Okay, I said it. Now can we have sex?
"Yes, I like the way you cut your hair" = I liked it better before.
"Let's talk" = I'll impress you by showing you I am a deep guy, then maybe sex?
"Will you marry me?" = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with others.
"I don't think that blouse and that skirt go well together" = I'm gay.
"Yes" = No.
"No" = Yes.
"Maybe" = No.
"I'm sorry" = You'll be sorry...
"We need" = I want.
"It's your decision" = The correct decision should be obvious by now.
"Do what ever you want" = You'll pay for this later.
"We need to talk" = I need to complain.
"Sure, go ahead" = I don't want you to.
"I'm not upset" = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
"You're so manly" = You need a shave, and you sweat a lot.
"Be romantic, turn out the lights" = I have flabby thighs.
"This kitchen is so inconvenient" = I want a new house.
"I want new curtains" = And carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.
"I heard a noise" = I noticed you were almost asleep.
"Do you love me?" = I'm going to ask for something expensive.
"How much do you love me?" = I did something today you're going to hate.
"I'll be ready in a minute" = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.
"You have to learn to communicate" = Just agree with me.
"Are you listening to me!?!" = [Too late! You're dead!]
******************************************
MEN'S ENGLISH:
"I'm hungry. = I'm hungry.
"I'm sleepy. = I'm sleepy.
"I'm tired. = I'm tired.
"Do you want to go to a movie?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
"Can I take you out to dinner?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
"Can I call you sometime?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
"May I have this dance?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
"Nice dress!" = Nice cleavage!
"You look tense. Let me give you a massage" = I want to fondle you.
"What's wrong?" = What stupid self-inflicted psychological trauma is it now?
"What's wrong?" = I guess sex tonight is out of the question?
"I'm bored" = Do you want to have sex?
"I love you" = Let's have sex now!
"I love you, too" = Okay, I said it. Now can we have sex?
"Yes, I like the way you cut your hair" = I liked it better before.
"Let's talk" = I'll impress you by showing you I am a deep guy, then maybe sex?
"Will you marry me?" = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with others.
"I don't think that blouse and that skirt go well together" = I'm gay.
