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Pilot Log Sheets

Discussion in 'Members' Lounge' started by StarBellieAngel, Aug 24, 2004.

  1. StarBellieAngel

    StarBellieAngel Senior Member

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    found this on another forum... if it's been seen before... well... too bad. :p


    After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which
    conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the
    flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct the
    problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what
    remedial actionwas taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the
    next flight.


    Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of
    humor. Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as
    submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance
    engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never
    had an accident.


    P = The problem logged by the pilot
    S = The solution and action taken by the engineers

    P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
    S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.

    P: Something loose in cockpit.
    S: Something tightened in cockpit.

    P: Dead bugs on windshield.
    S : Live bugs on back-order.

    P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute
    descent.
    S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

    P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
    S: Evidence removed.

    P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
    S: DME volume set to more believable level.

    P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
    S: That's what they're there for.

    P: IFF inoperative.
    S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

    P: Suspected crack in windshield.
    S: Suspect you're right.

    P: Number 3 engine missing.
    S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

    P: Aircraft handles funny.
    S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

    P: Target radar hums.
    S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

    P: Mouse in cockpit.
    S: Cat installed.

    P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget
    pounding on something with a hammer.
    S: Took hammer away from midget.
     
  2. hcivic.com

    hcivic.com Senior Member

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    i get to read those evry mounth with my updates
     
  3. TDaddy

    TDaddy Senior Member

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    THat's fooking hilarious(sp?)!!

    :bo:
     
  4. BigJ

    BigJ I'm just about that action Boss. VIP

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    :lmao:
     
  5. TDaddy

    TDaddy Senior Member

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    That was my favorite too. :bo:
     
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