Discussion in 'Members' Lounge' started by La_Pieuvre, Sep 9, 2003.
Dumbest things that lawyers have said in court
some funny shit
the last ones my fave.
that is classic
thats is soooo stolen from the movie "My cousin Vinni" with joe pesci. except they changed the words around.
Lawer: And what kinda equipment did you use to analyze all this?
I used a dual column gas chromatograph, Hewlett-Packard 5710A with flame ionization detectors.
Lawer: is that thing turbocharged?
Only on the floor models.
just the fact that that line was stolen from a movie makes me think that the whole thing was made up and/or completely taken out of context.
Do you recall approximately the time that you examined the body of Mr. Brown?
It was in the evening. The autopsy started about 8:30 p.m.
And Mr. Brown was dead at the time, is that correct?
No. He was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy!
Just fuckin awesome yO! Good find
i worked in a law office for about a year and a half as a secretary, back in high school...
lawyers are ignorant as shit, but you should see some of the clients.
in East Texas, it's not uncommon for someone who gets a DUI to have to spend the weekends in jail, and work during the week. That's so that they do jail time, but still work so they can pay their fines. One client from the law office that i worked at was doing weekend time for his 12th dui. no joke. He drives up to the jail drunk off his ass. The dispatcher sees him get out of the car - obviously drunk - and stagger up to the front of the jail. He gets slapped with felony DUI (since he was driving), public intoxication, and violation of his probation.
this is 100% true, just to let you know.
in court, his defense was this (and i quote this word for word, i had to retype the transcripts):
"Your honor, I do not deny that I was drunk at the time of my arrival at the jail, but I protest the Felony DUI charge. I wasn't the one that was driving. My friend who looks just like me was driving, but he ran off as soon as we got to the jail."
true, but maybe the movie stole it from a real court case...
anyway, I sure some of them have got to be true.
ya well in their defense, sometimes lawyers are so worried about claryfying every single detail, that stupid shit like this somethimes slips out.
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