When I was in highschool, for some reason those dickhead marine recruiters would call me on a weekly basis.
First time, I politely told him I was not interested.
Second time, I again politely told him I was not interested.
By the third week, I told my mom to SCREEN MY PHONE CALLS
by the fourth week of my senior year in highschool, I was getting real fucking agitated when these dickhead marine fucks kept on repeatedly calling me, after I had told them in plain fucking english that I did not want to join.
My mom thought it "was real cute" how I got real fucking pissed off with these assholes.....and kept on putting them through. It was like some sort of joke, some form of rudimentary, Collesium-esqe entertainment.
By the second semester of my senior year in highschool, I had enough. Decided to play some games with these fucks...
The marine recuiters took a few month haitus, and then in Feburary of 1993, started in again with the phone calls....
First time he called, I asked him (in a REAL effiminate voice) if the Marines would make a "man out of me".....he said yes they would....
I told him that I was REAL tall and REAL skinny, would the marines make me all "big and buff".....yes he said they would....So then I asked him what he look like and every time he made a comment about himself, I interjected with a "OOOOH.....NICE !!!!" response lol.
Then I asked him if we get to take showers together....think he bought it hook link and sinker, cuz he started in on the "dont ask dont tell" policy that clinton? had established.....my mom was sitting there cracking the fuck up while I was acting like a faggot on the phone....so I decided to take it a tad further......I asked him what would happen if I got caught fucking my seargent in the ass..... lol. he hung up.
phone calls stopped for about 3 weeks or so....
yup you guessed it, RING....
Mom: "Tony, it's for you....I think it's one of your friends"...
Marine Recruiter: "Hello Anthony, this is seargent blahblahblah from the Marines, we would like to take the time to inform you that the asvab tests are being held this saturday in the auditorium"....
Me: GREAT !!! Where will I be sitting?
Marine Recruiter: You will be directed to the appropriate section of the auditorium once you show up.
Me: Oh....<<short pause>> will I be next to the drinking fountain?
Marine Recruiter: No...
Me: Oh.....<short pause>> well, the only thing is, is that I really dont want to sit next to the "colored drinking fountain" while I'm taking the asvab..
Marine Recruiter: COME AGAIN?
Me: You ARE going to have a "whites only" section aren't you? I would hate to have to sit there by the colored drinking fountain while the negroes and hee-spanics are drinking at the fountain looking over my shoulder....
Marine Recruiter: (by this time, he sounded DISGUSTED) ( I forgot exactly what he said, but by the tone of his voice, I could really tell that this dude was sickened by what I had said.....come to think of it, I think he was black....lol. )
Me: Also, I would like to know if there are any Jewish churches in the Marines
Marine Recruiter: Sir, <<tone was STERN>> the United States Marines caters to all people of all faiths and denominations
Me: So there ARE Jewish churches on Marine property? Are they built out of flame-retardant materials? Do you think their windows would break if.....say a glass bottle....with a rag sticking out from the top was thrown in ?
My mom at this point was rolling on the floor, I had put the marine guy on speaker phone and was just FUCKING with him and he was buying into my shit.
Anyways, he hung up on me.
Then the next few times they called, I had enough of fucking with them. My mom had put me on the phone with yet another guy, I cussed him the fuck out calling him a "bitch ass faggot who couldnt make jack shit out of himself in real life so he had to join the marines"
blah blah blah.
I personally dont like marines, and this is due to the fact that everytime I goto the bars in Orange County with a chick im dating, and 10 times outta 10 my chicks are tall blonde and blue eyed, and these faggots purposely try to start shit with me. Im a big guy, but I'm not all buffed out, and so they see that and try to act all tough or some shit. Got into a few fights, but those faggots always roll deep, so its more like 10 on 1. Luckily, my BOY from back in the day is a cop down there, and a few times I called him on his cell phone while he was on duty and he pulled the Marines over for a DUI (driving under the influence) after they had left the bar
fuck with me and I WILL get your ass back one way or another with my many connections in life lol.
