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stupid joke of the week

Discussion in 'Members' Lounge' started by jeffie7, Sep 28, 2003.

  1. jeffie7

    jeffie7 Wrong Whole! VIP

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    Steven Segal, Sylvester Stalone, and Arnold Schwartzenagger were auditioning for the role of a tough guy in a movie. The director said, "Okay, I know that all of you can play the role of a tough guy, but I want to see how well you can improvise. I want you to act like your favorite classical music composer. Now Tell me who your going to act like."

    Steven Segal said, "I'll be Beethoven," Sylvester Stalone said, "Yo, I'll be Motzart," and Arnold Schwartzenagger said, "I'll be Bach."
     
  2. NoJokE

    NoJokE Senior Member

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    Wa wa waaaaaa
     
  3. BodyDroppedNikes

    BodyDroppedNikes ...PENDEJO.... VIP

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  4. jeffie7

    jeffie7 Wrong Whole! VIP

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    atlest I gave a heads up unlike everyone else who post sucky ass jokes hehehe not naming anyone.... lol

    =)
     
  5. jamesA

    jamesA Well known pissed off telephone guy VIP

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    .................. :roll:

    :lol: The classic play on his most famous words. :)
     
  6. FFCiv

    FFCiv Senior Member

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    that's greatttttttttt
     
  7. wildbillhatchbac

    wildbillhatchbac the OG VIP

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    ok so this string walks into a bar and orders a beer.

    the bartender says i can't serve a string you are gonna have to leave.

    the strings tries again later but again is asked to leave.

    then the strings gets this great idea to tie a knot in himself for ahead and frays the ends for hair.

    now the string goes back in and orders a beer.

    with hesitation the bartender serves him his beer but asks "do i know you from somewhere, you look familiar?"

    and the string replies "i'm afraid not" (i'm a frayed knot)
     
  8. FFCiv

    FFCiv Senior Member

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    wow that is bad. real bad. stop telling jokes. now.
     
  9. jamesA

    jamesA Well known pissed off telephone guy VIP

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    That's just so stupid...that it's sorta funny.

    Tell that to me when I'm drunk, I would laugh my ass off at it. :lol:
     
  10. wildbillhatchbac

    wildbillhatchbac the OG VIP

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    thank you thank you . . . some may say i am the king of corny jokes.

    heres another short one.

    i can row a boat, canoe?
     
  11. cxjon

    cxjon Senior Member

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    thats kinda funny
     
  12. jamesA

    jamesA Well known pissed off telephone guy VIP

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    :unsure:
     
  13. BodyDroppedNikes

    BodyDroppedNikes ...PENDEJO.... VIP

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    heres a dirty one:

    a white horse fell in the mud
     
  14. FFCiv

    FFCiv Senior Member

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    i don't get it
     
  15. jamesA

    jamesA Well known pissed off telephone guy VIP

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    it's a white horse...mud is brownish...the horse is now dirty...hence it's a dirty joke...

    get it huh huh get it?

    :blink:
     
  16. Frankie P.

    Frankie P. Senior Member

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    Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

















    It died.

    :bo: :bo: :bo:

    Umm... no, the only good one is the dirty horse.
     
  17. pissedoffsol

    pissedoffsol RETIRED

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    so this guy walks into a bar....





    :owned:

    moron should've sat down at the stool
     
  18. FFCiv

    FFCiv Senior Member

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    this thread needs to be destroyed bad, real bad
     
  19. dveit

    dveit Well-Known Member VIP

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    I'm currently running the latest version of GirlFriend and I've been having some problems lately. I've been running the same version of DrinkingBuddies 1.0 forever as my primary application, and all the GirlFriend releases I've tried have always conflicted with it. I hear that DrinkingBuddies won't crash if GirlFriend is run in background mode and the sound is turned off. But I'm embarrassed to say I can't find the switch to turn the sound off. I just run them separately, and it works okay. Girlfriend also seems to have a problem co-existing with my Golf program, often trying to abort Golf with some sort of timing incompatibility. I probably should have stayed with GirlFriend 1.0, but I thought I might see better performance from GirlFriend 2.0. After months of conflicts and other problems, I consulted a friend who has had experience with GirlFriend 2.0. He said I probably didn't have enough cache to run GirlFriend 2.0, and eventually it would require a Token Ring to run properly. He was right - as soon as I purged my cache, it uninstalled itself. Shortly after that, I installed GirlFriend 3.0 beta. All the bugs were supposed to be gone, but the first time I used it, it gave me a virus anyway. I had to clean out my whole system and shutdown for a while. I very cautiously upgraded to GirlFriend 4.0. This time I used a SCSI probe first and also installed a virus protection program. It worked okay for a while until I discovered that GirlFriend 1.0 was still in my system. I tried running GirlFriend 1.0 again with GirlFriend 4.0 still installed, but GirlFriend 4.0 has a feature I didn't know about that automatically senses the presence of any other version of GirlFriend and communicates with it in some way, which results in the immediate removal of both versions. The version I have now works pretty well, but there are still some problems. Like all versions of GirlFriend, it is in some obscure language that I can't understand, much less reprogram. Frankly I think there is too much attention paid to the look and feel rather than the desired functionality. Also, to get the best connections with your hardware, you usually have to use gold-plated contacts. And I've never liked how GirlFriend was totally ''object-oriented.'' A year ago, a friend of mine upgraded his version of GirlFriend to GirlFriendPlus 1.0, which is a Terminate and Stay Resident version of GirlFriend. He discovered that GirlFriendPlus 1.0 expires within a year if you don't upgrade to Fiancee 1.0. So he did, but soon after that, he had to upgrade to Wife 1.0, which he describes as a huge resource hog. It has taken up all his space, so he can't load anything else. One of the primary reasons he decided to go with Wife 1.0 was because it came bundled with FreeSexPlus. Well, it turns out the resource allocation module of Wife 1.0 sometimes prohibits access to FreeSexPlus, particularly the new Plug-Ins he wanted to try. On top of that, Wife 1.0 must be running on a well warmed-up system before he can do anything. Although he did not ask for it, Wife 1.0 came with MotherInLaw, which has an automatic pop-up feature he can't turn off. I told him to try installing Mistress 1.0, but he said he heard if you try to run it without first uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will delete MSMoney files before doing the uninstall itself. Then Mistress 1.0 won't install anyway because of insufficient resources.
     
  20. Tonyd0821

    Tonyd0821 Banned

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