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the police are funnier then you

Discussion in 'Members' Lounge' started by Capt. Orygun, Feb 14, 2007.

  1. Capt. Orygun

    Capt. Orygun Win the Day

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    Location:
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    These 16 Police Comments were taken off
    actual police car videos around the country:

    #16 "You know, stop lights don't come any redder
    that the one you just went through."

    #15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new.
    They'll stretch after you wear them a while."

    # 14 "If you take your hands off the car,
    I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

    #13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

    #12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second?
    Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."

    #11 "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that
    means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"

    #10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think
    it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"

    #9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you
    not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

    #8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether
    you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

    #7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a
    place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy
    and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."

    #6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets
    and my wife gets a toaster oven."

    #5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

    #4 "How big were those 'Just two beers' you say you had?"

    #3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to,
    but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

    #2 "I'm glad to hear that Chief (of Police)
    Hawker is a personal friend of yours.
    So you know someone who can post your bail." ;

    AND THE WINNER IS....

    #1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets?
    You're right, we don't. Sign here."
     
  2. TurboMirage

    TurboMirage YEEAAAHHH VIP

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    #1 is an ouch!
     
  3. Drake

    Drake Well-Known Member VIP

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    #1 had me rolling.
     
  4. ScrapinSi

    ScrapinSi Senior Member

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    #1 Dropped my jaw!
     
  5. BigJ

    BigJ I'm just about that action Boss. VIP

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    lol. Funny.
     
  6. ThatGuy4life

    ThatGuy4life The Riced Sleeper

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    #1 is the shit, "rotflmao:
     
  7. VeeTeK94ex

    VeeTeK94ex Banned

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    Ive had a bastard pull a #8 on me before
     
  8. totalburnout

    totalburnout Well-Known Member VIP

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    #1 took a couple times of re-reading for me to understand "teh funny."
     
  9. ThatGuy4life

    ThatGuy4life The Riced Sleeper

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    Kinda slow there buddy?
     
  10. 801CRX

    801CRX Got Rice?

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    Hahahahahaha................#1 FTW

    And #15 happened to me before, the cop was a smart ass.
     
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