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Todays Lame Joke

Discussion in 'Members' Lounge' started by reckedracing, Nov 8, 2010.

  1. reckedracing

    reckedracing TTIWWOP VIP

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    A plane was taking off from an Airport . After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293,
    non-stop from Durban to Cape Town , The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and uneventful flight.. Now sit back and relax... OH, MY GOODNESS!" Silence followed, and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier.
    While I was talking to you, the flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!"
    A passenger then yelled, "That's nothing. You should see the back of mine!"
     
    Last edited: Nov 8, 2010
  2. BigJ

    BigJ I'm just about that action Boss. VIP

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    A puerto vallarta ad at the top to underline the plane joke. Love it.
     
  3. jamesA

    jamesA Well known pissed off telephone guy VIP

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  4. azzkicker222

    azzkicker222 New Member

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    lol. that was funny but way to long
     
  5. E_SolSi

    E_SolSi Member of the 20 nut club Moderator VIP

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    way too long??? it was 7 sentences... you have the attention span of a fucking gnat
     
  6. jamesA

    jamesA Well known pissed off telephone guy VIP

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    gnats are pretty persistent little fuckers, I think that is an insult to them.
     
  7. Ichigo1174

    Ichigo1174 Member

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    hmmm.... yep! :concur:
     
  8. Nykole0408

    Nykole0408 New Member

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    LOL.

    I agree, that was actually a pretty short one. I have seen some that are so long I just give up right in the middle of them. And I have a pretty good attention span...
     
  9. azzkicker222

    azzkicker222 New Member

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    Hey, i still thought it was funny just didnt wanna read that much lol.
     
  10. reckedracing

    reckedracing TTIWWOP VIP

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    i guess you'll bail out early on this one then
    RIF



    A former Infantry Sergeant having served his time with the Marine Corps
    took a new job as a school teacher.

    Just before the school year started he injured his back. He was required
    to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. Fortunately,
    the cast fit under his shirt and wasn't even noticeable.

    On the first day of class, he found himself assigned to the toughest
    students in the school.

    The smart aleck punks having already heard the new teacher was a former
    Marine were leery of him and decided to see how tough he really was
    before trying any pranks.

    Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, the new teacher opened the
    window wide and sat down at his desk.

    When a strong breeze made his tie flap, he took a stapler and stapled
    the tie to his chest.

    He had no trouble with discipline that year...



    SEMPER FI!
     
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  11. Nykole0408

    Nykole0408 New Member

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    Nice. :p
     
  12. E_SolSi

    E_SolSi Member of the 20 nut club Moderator VIP

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  13. reckedracing

    reckedracing TTIWWOP VIP

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    woo hooo
    after years of todays lame joke threads i finally get recognized for my comedic abilities and win 2 golden jew stars
    woooooooooo!!!
     
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  14. BigJ

    BigJ I'm just about that action Boss. VIP

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    gah. I need rep.


    Good joke btw.
     
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  15. jamesA

    jamesA Well known pissed off telephone guy VIP

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    I gave you another star. :)
     
  16. Briansol

    Briansol Admins Admin VIP

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    not bad sir, not bad.
     
  17. Nykole0408

    Nykole0408 New Member

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    I heard a new one today:

    This lady died and went to heaven, and was standing outside the pearly gates talking to St. Peter. Out of nowhere she hears this blood curdling scream. She says "what in the world was that?". St. Peter says "oh, don't worry about that, that was just a lady getting holes drilled in her back for her wings". She says "I don't know if I like that". A couple of minutes later, she hears another scream. "What in the world was that?". He says "Oh don't worry about that, that was just the same lady getting holes drilled in her head for the halo". She says "I don't like the sound of that either, just go ahead and send me to hell". St. Peter shakes his head and says "Why would you want to go to hell? You would be raped and sodomized for the rest of eternity!!!". She says "Well, at least I already have the holes for that!".

    :rimshot:
     
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  18. hondafreak513

    hondafreak513 New Member

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    roflmao good one
     
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  19. jamesA

    jamesA Well known pissed off telephone guy VIP

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