Todays Lame Joke

[reckedracing]

A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a Texas deputy sheriff . He thinks he is smarter than the Deputy, because he is sure that he has a better education. He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the deputy`s expense.
Deputy: "License and registration, please."
Lawyer: "What for?"
Deputy: "You didn`t come to a complete stop at the stop sign."
Lawyer: "I slowed down, and no one was coming."
Deputy: "You still didn`t come to a complete stop. License and registration, please."
Lawyer: "What`s the difference?"
Deputy: "The difference is, you have to come to a complete stop, that`s the law. License and registration, please!"
Lawyer: "If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I`ll give you my license and registration and you give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and no ticket."
Deputy: "Exit your vehicle, sir."
At this point, the deputy takes out his nightstick, starts beating the ever-loving crap out of the lawyer, and asks him, "Do you want me to stop or just slow down?"

 

[Bl6CRX]

I have a new theory that jokes must orginate in Cali and move eastward, because all the ones getting posted up are at least 2+ years old to me.

This is the first time I heard it specifically involving a lawyer though...

 

[ripperbone]

needed that little laugh today

 

[posol]

rodney king!

 

[infamouz]

FREAKIN HILARIOUS.

 

[posol]

here's a gay one i just got in a FWD:


> >>The Mole Family
> >>
> >>
> >>-- A mama mole, a papa mole, and a baby mole all live in a little mole
> >>hole.
> >>One day the papa mole sticks his head out of the hole, sniffs the air
and
> >>says,"Yum! I smell maple syrup!"
> >>The mama mole sticks her head out of the hole, sniffs the air and says
> >>"Yum!
> >>I smell honey!"
> >>The baby mole tries to stick his head out of the hole to sniff the air,
> >>but
> >>can't because the bigger moles
> >>are in the way so he says, "Geez, all I can smell
> >>is....
> >>
> >>
> >>Scroll down.......
> >>
> >>
> >>Get ready.....
> >>
> >>Are you sure you're ready?
> >>You may never forgive me for this one...
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>MOLASSES
> >>
> >
> >
> >
>
>

 

[Bl6CRX]

Tiss... Thats a good one B.

 

[reckedracing]

Patrick, who was vacationing in the Bahamas couldn't seem to make it with any of the girls. So he asked the local lifeguard for some advice.

"Mate, it's obvious," says the lifeguard, "you're wearing them old baggy swimming trunks that make ya look like an old geezer. They're years outta style. Your best bet is to grab yourself a pair of Speedos - about two sizes too small - and drop a fist-sized potato down inside 'em. I'm tellin' ya man... you'll have all the babes ya want!"

The following weekend, Patrick hits the beach with his spanking new tight Speedos, and his fist-sized potato. Everybody on the beach was disgusted as he walked by, covering their faces, turning away, laughing, looking sick!

So he went back to the lifeguard again and asked him, "What's wrong now?" "Damn, Mate!" said the lifeguard, "The potato goes in front!!"

 

[Battle Pope]

bahahaa