1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Todays Lame Joke

Discussion in 'Members' Lounge' started by reckedracing, Sep 22, 2005.

  1. reckedracing

    reckedracing TTIWWOP VIP

    Messages:
    21,056
    Likes Received:
    1,180
    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2002
    Location:
    NY
    A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a Texas deputy sheriff . He thinks he is smarter than the Deputy, because he is sure that he has a better education. He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the deputy`s expense.
    Deputy: "License and registration, please."
    Lawyer: "What for?"
    Deputy: "You didn`t come to a complete stop at the stop sign."
    Lawyer: "I slowed down, and no one was coming."
    Deputy: "You still didn`t come to a complete stop. License and registration, please."
    Lawyer: "What`s the difference?"
    Deputy: "The difference is, you have to come to a complete stop, that`s the law. License and registration, please!"
    Lawyer: "If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I`ll give you my license and registration and you give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and no ticket."
    Deputy: "Exit your vehicle, sir."
    At this point, the deputy takes out his nightstick, starts beating the ever-loving crap out of the lawyer, and asks him, "Do you want me to stop or just slow down?"
     
  2. Bl6CRX

    Bl6CRX Senior Member

    Messages:
    1,553
    Likes Received:
    0
    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2003
    Location:
    UCLA
    I have a new theory that jokes must orginate in Cali and move eastward, because all the ones getting posted up are at least 2+ years old to me.

    This is the first time I heard it specifically involving a lawyer though... :D
     
  3. ripperbone

    ripperbone angry bear

    Messages:
    3,173
    Likes Received:
    8
    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2004
    Location:
    Oklahoma
    :lol: needed that little laugh today
     
  4. pissedoffsol

    pissedoffsol RETIRED

    Messages:
    49,693
    Likes Received:
    53
    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2002
    Location:
    Retirement Home
  5. infamouz

    infamouz Senior Member

    Messages:
    296
    Likes Received:
    0
    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2005
    Location:
    Sacramento, C.A.
    FREAKIN HILARIOUS.
     
  6. pissedoffsol

    pissedoffsol RETIRED

    Messages:
    49,693
    Likes Received:
    53
    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2002
    Location:
    Retirement Home
    here's a gay one i just got in a FWD:


    > >>The Mole Family
    > >>
    > >>
    > >>-- A mama mole, a papa mole, and a baby mole all live in a little mole
    > >>hole.
    > >>One day the papa mole sticks his head out of the hole, sniffs the air
    and
    > >>says,"Yum! I smell maple syrup!"
    > >>The mama mole sticks her head out of the hole, sniffs the air and says
    > >>"Yum!
    > >>I smell honey!"
    > >>The baby mole tries to stick his head out of the hole to sniff the air,
    > >>but
    > >>can't because the bigger moles
    > >>are in the way so he says, "Geez, all I can smell
    > >>is....
    > >>
    > >>
    > >>Scroll down.......
    > >>
    > >>
    > >>Get ready.....
    > >>
    > >>Are you sure you're ready?
    > >>You may never forgive me for this one...
    > >>
    > >>
    > >>
    > >>
    > >>
    > >>
    > >>
    > >>
    > >>MOLASSES
    > >>
    > >
    > >
    > >
    >
    >
     
  7. Bl6CRX

    Bl6CRX Senior Member

    Messages:
    1,553
    Likes Received:
    0
    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2003
    Location:
    UCLA
    Tiss... :p Thats a good one B.
     
  8. reckedracing

    reckedracing TTIWWOP VIP

    Messages:
    21,056
    Likes Received:
    1,180
    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2002
    Location:
    NY
    Patrick, who was vacationing in the Bahamas couldn't seem to make it with any of the girls. So he asked the local lifeguard for some advice.

    "Mate, it's obvious," says the lifeguard, "you're wearing them old baggy swimming trunks that make ya look like an old geezer. They're years outta style. Your best bet is to grab yourself a pair of Speedos - about two sizes too small - and drop a fist-sized potato down inside 'em. I'm tellin' ya man... you'll have all the babes ya want!"

    The following weekend, Patrick hits the beach with his spanking new tight Speedos, and his fist-sized potato. Everybody on the beach was disgusted as he walked by, covering their faces, turning away, laughing, looking sick!

    So he went back to the lifeguard again and asked him, "What's wrong now?" "Damn, Mate!" said the lifeguard, "The potato goes in front!!"
     
  9. Battle Pope

    Battle Pope New Member

    Messages:
    10,279
    Likes Received:
    60
    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2004
    Location:
    Southern Oregon Coast
Verification:
Draft saved Draft deleted

Share This Page